The Learning: What Did You?

[Trekker4747]

I learned that future dystopian movies need no set-up.

That when you live in an apocalyptic environment with frigid temperatures that shirts aren't needed and apparently women will still wear tank-tops outside.

That it's 9:22.

This movie may, or may not, have taken place on a space ship.

Who needs backstory?

[PontifexPrimus]

I learned that you can basically start setting up the actual plot of the movie over one hour into it (by exposition dump from a glowing CGI energy being).

I learned that aliens recruiting soldiers for their war can improve upon humanity by making them do mock killing drills, strapping them to a whirling machine, and having them drink their... fluids.

I learned that hot chicks constantly sneak into an ultra secure military facility located on the North Pole to have illegal orgies.

I learned that aliens infiltrating humanity quickly acquire a total devotion to historic earth politicians, while simultaneously developing a hatred of specific earth accents.

I learned that a movie can set up a combat-training environment more dangerous than a malfunctioning holodeck early in its runtime only to never make use of it again.

I learned that watching Red Letter Media "Best of the Worst" episodes makes you recognize a David DeCoteau movie even if you've actually never seen one before.

[Trekker4747]

Man, I hope we get a run of David DeCoteau movies.

I learned that a meteor striking the Earth, causing global catastrophe and climate change, does this with lava... somehow.

[ihavemyreasons]

Sniffing someone's underwear from their gym bag will help you find a picture in a can.

I learned that some bad movies can still surprise me with  a twist that will ncrease the stupidity of the already stupid plot exponentially.

[ManUnderMask]

That I was surprisingly entertained by this movie.

I learned that IMDB has this rated as TV-14. This was a TV movie? What station?

[Pastor of Muppets]

I learned that it's possible to make a scene in a military installation that is gayer than the Top Gun volleyball scene.

I learned that shirts are either a reward or a punishment.

I learned that after an apocalyptic meteor strike, which makes most of the Earth into an arctic wasteland, mankind will relocate to the actual Arctic for some reason.

I learned that these were incredibly wussy aliens.  They needed a cataclysmic meteor, 30 years, and a squad of trained guardians before they could make their attack.

[Pastor of Muppets]

I learned that in the end, none of what the our hero A.C. Slater did mattered because the entire portal just blew up on its own anyway.

[CJones]

I learned this is the least secure military base in history. People keep breaking in, breaking out, breaking out and then breaking back in.

[CJones]

So the Sargent can bend a gun with his bare hands and no one thinks this is suspicious?

[Trekker4747]

It's the [apocalyptic] FUTURE!

[dbsommer]

I learned this is the least secure military base in history. People keep breaking in, breaking out, breaking out and then breaking back in.

Almost sounds like something I read where a spy agency infiltrated a law enforcement agency, only to eventually learn the law enforcement agency was so easy to infiltrate, that nearly every member of it was a spy for someone else.

BTW, just realized I started reading this at... 9:22. Maybe the movie was wiser in a subtle way than anyone guessed.

[fodder650]

I never did learn what the Greek for "I was killed by an IT failure" was.

[MerryWanna]

I learned that they figure out a way to apparently abolish aging. Everyone in this movie looks about 17.

[dbsommer]

I learned Fever Lake is not the worst Mario Lopez movie rifftrax has done, not by a long shot.

I learned the most irrlevant title ever. There was no Absolution or Journey in this.

I learned A Talking Cat!?! had better pacing than this.

I learned the first hour should have been explained in less than five minutes, then the climax should have occurred.

I learned David DeCoteau will just film guys running around in their underwear for no purpose for nearly an hour and a half. Seriously. He just doesn't care.

I learned cutting some of these films is a must. I could not handle even another minute of the sheer pointlessness of the movie. I don't care why the dead girl was shoved in a locker, not if it meant more topless guys hanging around and nothing actually being accomplished in the movie.

[Iron Curtain]

The only thing I learned from this movie is that if you tell people you're from Queens, people will hate you for the Major League Baseball team that plays in the Bronx despite there actually being a Major League Baseball team located in Queens.

Actually, that's not the only thing I learned; I also learned that not one of the riffers will call out the movie on that oversight, despite there being two opportunities to do so (and one of the riffers being originally from Bay Ridge, Brooklyn). Just seemed like a missed and wasted riff-ertunity there.