What did we learn?

[Nunyerbiz]

Meg Ryan is a cutie, even in mourning.

Meg Ryan WAS a cutie, before Botox and Collagen shit all over her face.

[Sharktopus]

Meg Ryan is a cutie, even in mourning.

Meg Ryan WAS a cutie, before Botox and Collagen shit all over her face.

I'm gonna have to politely disagree with you guys on that. She looks like that girl you hope to hell doesn't sit next to you on the plane, because you know she's not gonna shut the hell up the whole flight.

Yeah, I really wasn't 100% prime-time in love with her performance.  Or her multicolored hair.  Pick a shade, Meg.

LadyK, as a female-type person, what do you think of Meg Ryan? I can't freakin' stand her, but I'm a guy, and I don't think we're supposed to like her.

[macleod]

Yes...because I learned that at least she will never go on to have a successful film career....oh wait...nevermind

[BBQ Platypus]

I learned that Jerry Bruckheimer is evil and MUST BE STOPPED!!!  Hurry!  Before he wastes another 90 minutes of another person's life!

Seriously, Jerry Bruckheimer is a serial killer.  This can be proven using sound mathematics and statistics (mad props to Maddox for coming up with the method I am using to prove my point).  We will prove this using the ticket sales for one of his most popular movies - namely, THIS one.  Feel free to follow along with my simple step-by-step instructions!

During its theatrical run, a depressingly high total of 47.2 million tickets were sold.  That's right, 47.2 million people went to see Top Gun (or, more likely, 47,200 teenage girls each went to see it 1,000 times).  Regardless, each of these people wasted 108 minutes of their precious time on Earth by watching this movie, whether they realized it or not.  Simple multiplication reveals that this means that a total of 5,097,600,000 (over 5 billion) minutes were wasted worldwide.

At the time of this film's release (1986), the average life expectancy in the U.S. (which was similar to those of other countries in which this movie was popular) was 74.9 years.  We convert this total to minutes by simple multiplication and then divide the number of wasted minutes by the average American lifespan to calculate our final total.

1 life = 60 min./hr. x 24 hr./d. x 365.25 d./yr. x 74.9 yrs. = 39,394,404 min./life
5,097,600,000 min. / 39,394,404 min./life = 129.40 lives

Meaning that Jerry Bruckheimer has effectively murdered 129 people (and put another in a 30-year coma).  And I didn't even include video rentals (or his other movies).  I can't think of one decent movie he's ever made besides The Rock, and even that is nothing more than just an explosion-filled piece of Hollywood fluff.  It just happens to be an explosion-filled piece of Hollywood fluff that stars Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage.  Anycrap, I remembered what a complete turd this movie was, and in doing so realized that Jerry Bruckheimer is a murderer.

[Nunyerbiz]

Well, nice job supporting his bloodlust by watching the Rifftrax... hypocrite!

[MarkAndrew]

  Yes, many died during Top Gun, but even more new life was brought into the world.  I promise you, the amount of post-movie monkeyloving caused by Top Gun more than counter-balances the deaths.  I know for at least a few hours I was romancing Kelly McGillis and I'm sure my lady-type was mentally taming the wild Maverick known as Tom Cruise.

  Not that Jerry Bruckheimer isn't evil and shouldn't be stopped.  He is and he should.  I'm just saying, Top Gun may have actually caused a spike in pregnancies as well as Navy recruitment.

Oh, and Jet Porn rocks!
:-)

I learned that Jerry Bruckheimer is evil and MUST BE STOPPED!!!  Hurry!  Before he wastes another 90 minutes of another person's life!

Seriously, Jerry Bruckheimer is a serial killer.  This can be proven using sound mathematics and statistics (mad props to Maddox for coming up with the method I am using to prove my point).  We will prove this using the ticket sales for one of his most popular movies - namely, THIS one.  Feel free to follow along with my simple step-by-step instructions!

During its theatrical run, a depressingly high total of 47.2 million tickets were sold.  That's right, 47.2 million people went to see Top Gun (or, more likely, 47,200 teenage girls each went to see it 1,000 times).  Regardless, each of these people wasted 108 minutes of their precious time on Earth by watching this movie, whether they realized it or not.  Simple multiplication reveals that this means that a total of 5,097,600,000 (over 5 billion) minutes were wasted worldwide.

At the time of this film's release (1986), the average life expectancy in the U.S. (which was similar to those of other countries in which this movie was popular) was 74.9 years.  We convert this total to minutes by simple multiplication and then divide the number of wasted minutes by the average American lifespan to calculate our final total.

1 life = 60 min./hr. x 24 hr./d. x 365.25 d./yr. x 74.9 yrs. = 39,394,404 min./life
5,097,600,000 min. / 39,394,404 min./life = 129.40 lives

Meaning that Jerry Bruckheimer and the guy who directed this movie whose name I can't remember has effectively murdered 129 people and put another in a 30-year coma.  And I didn't even include video rentals (or his other movies).  I can't think of one decent movie he's ever made besides The Rock, and even that is nothing more than just an explosion-filled piece of Hollywood fluff.  It just happens to be an explosion-filled piece of Hollywood fluff that stars Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage.  Anycrap, I remembered what a complete turd this movie was, and in doing so realized that Jerry Bruckheimer is a murderer.

[Teaflax]

That I'm almost ashamed to have a cat called Maveric now. People have asked "From Top Gun?" before, but not until now did I realise just what an insult that is.

[LadyKenobi]

Yeah, I really wasn't 100% prime-time in love with her performance.  Or her multicolored hair.  Pick a shade, Meg.

LadyK, as a female-type person, what do you think of Meg Ryan? I can't freakin' stand her, but I'm a guy, and I don't think we're supposed to like her.

Well, she doesn't inspire the violent hatred that Julia Roberts, Jessica Simpson, and Susan Sarandon do, but I'm not a huge fan.  Mostly because everybody keeps gushing over how cuuuuuuuuuute she is.  And it's not like she's hideous looking or hopelessly annoying, but I don't see all the enormous fuss.

I think women like her because she seems nonthreatening; rarely does she play a sexpot.  She's sold more like a coffee buddy.

Mostly her pointy smile weirds me out.  You know that scene in When Harry Met Sally and she wakes up in bed with Billy Crystal and she has this huge smile but absolutely no teeth are showing?  That's some freaky stuff, dawg.

[palehorse864]

And I learned that pilots who are killed due to ejector seat malfunctions can still go on to have rewarding careers as emergency room doctors.

[Minnesota]

That's some freaky stuff, dawg.

I'm not going to make fun of you for using the phrase dawg because lord knows I've used it before, but I've never heard a girl use it before  

hehe, that said I think Meg Ryan is cute in every movie. I dont see where any of you'all are criticizing her for her looks?

[BBQ Platypus]

  Yes, many died during Top Gun, but even more new life was brought into the world.  I promise you, the amount of post-movie monkeyloving caused by Top Gun more than counter-balances the deaths.  I know for at least a few hours I was romancing Kelly McGillis and I'm sure my lady-type was mentally taming the wild Maverick known as Tom Cruise.

  Not that Jerry Bruckheimer isn't evil and shouldn't be stopped.  He is and he should.  I'm just saying, Top Gun may have actually caused a spike in pregnancies as well as Navy recruitment.

A GOOD movie could have done the same thing WITHOUT the bloodshed.  I'm sorry, Mark, but the ends do not justify the means.  Even if he helped to create life, he still destroyed a great deal of it in the process, which means that he is STILL a murderer.

[Pak-Man]

That's some freaky stuff, dawg.

I'm not going to make fun of you for using the phrase dawg because lord knows I've used it before, but I've never heard a girl use it before  

hehe, that said I think Meg Ryan is cute in every movie. I dont see where any of you'all are criticizing her for her looks?

Cute maybe, but not DESIRABLE. I think that's where everyone is dishing out their criticism. She's not UGLY by any stretch, and she's appealing to the eye, but it doesn't stir up the loins, and I think most men prefer their loins stirred. :^)

[macleod]

That's some freaky stuff, dawg.

I'm not going to make fun of you for using the phrase dawg because lord knows I've used it before, but I've never heard a girl use it before  

hehe, that said I think Meg Ryan is cute in every movie. I dont see where any of you'all are criticizing her for her looks?

Cute maybe, but not DESIRABLE. I think that's where everyone is dishing out their criticism. She's not UGLY by any stretch, and she's appealing to the eye, but it doesn't stir up the loins, and I think most men prefer their loins stirred. :^)

Whether or not you think she's cute...the point is that all of her acting just normally banks on that idea. It's like with most of her films, the direction must have been "um, Meg, just stand there and try to look cute"....

[Bus Taker]

That I should be embarrassed by many things I enjoyed as a teenager in the 80s. At least I was a Yes fan by the mid-80s.

[LadyKenobi]

At least I was a Yes fan by the mid-80s.

(orchestra hit)