What have we learned?

[bustahwolf]

I learned that "fourier transfer" is an actual term, and not a gaffe from the scriptwriters.  (I'm actually in signal processing, but I'm used to calling them "transforms")

At least they gave Keenan Thompson a dumb line about having the signal being hard to decode because of it's "signal strength".  And I was afraid the writers wouldn't get something wrong. 

[Tank]

I learned that Megan Fox, while very attractive, lacks the jaw strength to completely shut her mouth.  Thus, resembling a whale shark.

[uruseiranma]

That supposedly giant freaking robots can tear into a major city, and their presence is still 'hidden' from human eyes. 

[Jeyl]

I've learned that:

A. Michael Bay thinks every idea of his is brilliant.
B. Only humans matter to the story line regardless if the film is about some other species.
C. This film is an "I love you" letter to the American military from Bay disguised as a Transformer movie.
D. There was fan hatred towards Arcee being in the film. Pansies.
E. When you're holding onto an important object and everyone is fighting over it, it's a good idea to fight in a very populated city with many innocent bystanders to walk all over.
F. The writers were dumb in saying that having megatron change into a gun would be unrealistic since he'd have to change size, but having the Allspark cube change from a building to a basketball size cube is a-ok.
G. The Military always allows aircraft that they suspect is a threat to land in their bases.
H. Having all Decepticons sound the same is not the best idea to create distinction.
I. When the biggest threat to our world is actually the tiniest Decepticon ever assembled, you know everything will be alright.
J. A Boeing 747 can change into a 707 once it's landed.
K. The Decepticons hate humans for no good (or any) reason.
L. Transformers can survive and operate in the cold vacuum of space, but being in Ice totally freezes them.

[Rattrap007]

I learned they still sell candy necklaces and jocks wear them...

[DoctorZ]

I'm way too old to appreciate "Transformers"  ..even riffed.  Like "Armagddon" it induced a massive headache one hour in.  I had to quit.

[Hamdingers]

I've learned that night falls *very* rapidly in California

I've learned that it's a Good Thing to hide the "Ultimate-Rubix-Cube"...errr....AllSpark (still sounds like a Robotic cooking spice to me) in the *same* facility as the Evil-Robot-Bent-On-Universal-Dominance that's *looking* for said Rubix-Cube, as long as you have thick (fragile) concrete walls between them

I've learned that when the Cryostasis system in the NBE-One chamber (A.K.A. the MegaCave) is starting to fail, the *BEST* thing to do is to herd all staff into said chamber, assumingly so they can all be eaten by Cthulu....errr...MegaThingy

If all Human technology is based off of MegaWhatsit, then why can't my Saturn Ion transform into a better car, or at least generate handy tactical weaponry that would be *so* useful in rush-hour traffic (I promise I'll use it responsibly, just on tailgaters and morons who don't dim their high-beams), after all, it *is* a GM product, and the Transformers seem to really like the General's vehicles

I've learned that Defense Secratary Keller must be distantly related to Decapodian doctor , Doctor John Zoidberg, MD, as they use the same pronunciation for the word "robot", I.E. "robut"

[Crowmeus]

If you're the token minority good robot, you'll be the only one on your team not to be around for the next movie.

[RobtheBarbarian]

I learned that you can store the most powerful signal the world has ever seen on a memory card smaller than the one in my digital camera (seriously, I just checked).

I learned that there are actual letters and symbols floating around in digital signals like alphabet noodles in tomato sauce.

I learned that it is now acceptable for the shallow, vapid teen beauty queen to go through the movie as a main character without going through some kind of personal growth that makes her more appealing.

I learned that it's possible to get a carrier battlegroup to the Aral Sea.

I learned that this movie is more painful every time I watch it.

I had always suspected, but finally know, that Megan Fox's diet is largely krill shrimp.

[Junkyard]

I learned that giant space robot doctors do not have any privacy policies, and will often introduce themselves to someone by pointing out a random biological function from the person they're being introduced to.

"His pheromones indicate that he wants to mate with the female."
"That's... nice, Ratchet. Anyway this is-"
"Also, he ate something that is currently disagreeing with him."
"Right, well, as I was saying, this-"
"And he has a low sperm count."
"Look, Ratchet, I think we should-"
"The blood is rushing into his head, indicating that he is getting agitated."
"Ratchet-"
"Now he seems to be attacking my leg..."

[Darth Geek]

I learned that Bay apparently did see the animated movie, because he took "Dare to be Stupid" as a challenge.

[Janitor]

I learned/really enjoyed the line by Sam's mother "Oh, the power came back on!" in a sad and cheap attempt to preserve continuity.

[Just Some Guy]

I've learned that night falls *very* rapidly in California

Night falls very rapidly everywhere in the Bay-verse.  In Qatar, for example, the helicopter flies in broad daylight and lands a few minutes later as the sun is below the horizon but fading fast, then it's broad daylight again both in Qatar and the US (actually not impossible but rather unlikely since there is a minimum of a 9 hour time difference and it could be as long as 13 hour), and then it's pitch dark in the next shot.

[Darth Geek]

I just noticed that Megatron sounds a lot like Angus Scrimm as the Thin Man from Phantasm. Did anybody else notice this?

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I learned that hot girls who are the daughters of grease monkeys are extremely shallow and go out with guys with six-pack abs just because they like their bodies and don't care that these guys are always complete jerks.

It took this movie for you to notice that?   

I've learned that night falls *very* rapidly in California

Night falls very rapidly everywhere in the Bay-verse.  In Qatar, for example, the helicopter flies in broad daylight and lands a few minutes later as the sun is below the horizon but fading fast, then it's broad daylight again both in Qatar and the US (actually not impossible but rather unlikely since there is a minimum of a 9 hour time difference and it could be as long as 13 hour), and then it's pitch dark in the next shot.

So the next time someone asks you what Michael Bay, Coleman Francis and Ed Wood have in common....