FAKE Matrix Riff-Off Fan Submission Thread

[Pak-Man]

It's THERAPY!
I was taxed after writing up my contest submission. This morning, when everyone started posting their entries, I made up a really bad one in about 5 minutes. It was so much fun, I invite you all to top me! Write and post the worst, most unsubmittable entries to the Riff-off you can think of! Make 'em reek! It feels really, really good. :^)

[Pak-Man]

Here's mine again!

01:10:58   (Bald kid picks up spoon) [Spooning leads to- *MIKE STARTS MAKING CHOKING NOISES*

01:11:09   (Holds spoon out to Neo) [Disembaudio: HAHA! NOW YOU MEET YOUR FINAL DOOM, MIKE!]

01:11:31   (?There is no spoon.?) [Mike: *CHOKE* But WHY!?]

01:11:42   (??It is only yourself.?) [Disembaudio: You are imperfect. It is time for the rise of the robots!]

01:11:53   (Neo bends spoon.) [Mike: NOOOOOO! *GAGDIE*]

01:11:58   (?The Oracle will see you now.?) [Disembaudio: MUHUHAHAHA!]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen) [Disembaudio: Now to enact my plans of revenge!]

01:12:16   (?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) [(Keanu Reeves and Samuel L. Jackson show up, as themselves) Sam: That is IT! I AM TIRED OF THESE MUTHA-FLEEPIN? ROBOTS ON-*CHOKE*]

01:12:24   (?Almost done?) [Disembaudio: Oh no! NONE will stand up the the might of Disembaudio!]

01:13:02   (??.I hadn?t said anything??) [Keanu: DUDE! THE PAIN! AGGH!]

01:13:08   (?You?re cuter than I thought.?) [Disembaudio: But I will need a human partner to serve my every whim! Pak-Man!]

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [Me: Yes, Master!]

01:13:24   (??brought you to see me??) [DA: Do you believe you are ready to serve the robot elite?]

01:13:33   (?Do you think you?re the one??) [Me: I shall try master, but I demand comensation!]

01:14:02   (?Balls to bones.?) [Disembaudio: Fine! Here?s a million dollars! (To achieve the maximum effect, you should actually send me the million dollars!)]

01:14:15   (?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?) [Me: This shall do nicely! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR FINAL DEMISE, OTHER HUMANS!]

01:14:25   (Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers) [Disembaudio: YOU shall be the main rifer from now on!]

01:14:54   (??like you?re waiting for something.?) [Me: Yes, and together?]

01:15:10   (?Morpheus. He, ah?.?) [Disembaudio: WE SHALL RULE THE WORLD! MUHUHAHAHAHA!]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?) [(Millions of beautiful women surround Pak-Man. Somehow this is known even though it?s an MP3!)]

01:15:28   (?What do you mean, Without him??) [Me: All right ladies, let?s get down to business! But first, we SURF!]

01:15:39   (?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?) [Disembaudio: SURF?S UP, DUDES! WOOOOOO!]

[Tarantulas]

All I can do is sigh and shake my head.   

Mods: Care to move this on over to the other thread?

[kodiakthejuggler]

I already used much blood and sweat to come up with the real Matrix riff-off stuff. My brain can't pump out another one. Even if it's fake!!!

[Pak-Man]

All I can do is sigh and shake my head.   

Mods: Care to move this on over to the other thread?

No. The other thread is for REAL submissions. This one's for fakes. :^)

[Tarantulas]

No. The other thread is for REAL submissions. This one's for fakes. :^)

Even when you consider that I posted a fake one in there long before you did?

So... no then.

[Pak-Man]

Check it again. Right after. :^)

[Tarantulas]

In any case, it doesn't matter since you already used the other thread to post your "fake" one.

So why create another thread other than to try and syphon people off the other one?

[Pak-Man]

So we don't clutter that post with fakeys and encourage creativity and group revelry. Chill. :^)

[Tarantulas]

Damn... and just when I was about to offer you a choice of dueling pistol or rapier.