Matrix Riffoff Fan Submission Thread

[Shinigami]

I have but one thing to add.










"Whoo-weee!!"

[kodiakthejuggler]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?)

(as Oracle)  Signed on for two sequels before reading the scripts...

Freakin' brilliant!!!

[Joe Don Faker]

The Ben Gay line got me, too.  Minty!

I also especially liked

01:13:18   (?Not too bright though.?) [As Neo in a snippy comeback voice] I am SO too bright.

[Pak-Man]

I'm just glad my entry was Spork Free.

So I was the ONLY one to throw in a file-sharing reference?
And the ONLY one to toss in a reference from the Nixon campaign? :^)
That makes me feel good about ME! :^)

Seriously though, the competition is stiff, and as mentioned before, this isn't even the lion's share of submissions. I'm gonna be on pins and needles 'til Wednesday.

[Joe Don Faker]

The rejection of any contest entry or supreme court judicial nominee due to the controversial presence of sporks will in future be referred to as getting "sporked." 

[David]

Sorry, I put in a filesharing reference. Many others have too, I'm sure, but they have not yet come forward.

[ScottotD]

Here's mine, I think I got a few good lines in there but it's pretty weak on the whole.

01:10:58(Bald kid picks up spoon)
This worked when I was in Star Trek the movie.

01:11:09(Holds spoon out to Neo)
Let?s see you beat that.

01:11:31(?There is no spoon.?)
Yoda, the Wonder years

01:11:42(??It is only yourself.?)
Although you probably won?t be as refelctive

01:11:53(Neo bends spoon.)
Rubber spoon, nice

01:11:58(?The Oracle will see you now.?)
Thanks Carla, say Hi to JD.

01:12:06(Neo enters kitchen)
Mom?, Mom?, I gotta hurry I?m late for school.

01:12:16(?You?re the Oracle?? ?Bingo!?) 
Tell him what he?s won Johnny.

01:12:24(?Almost done?)
The room?s now filling with gas.

01:13:02(??.I hadn?t said anything??)
...or are you just a clutz?

01:13:08(?You?re cuter than I thought.?)
but what?s with the outfit? Did you skin Johnny Cash?

01:13:18(?Not too bright though.?)
durr?

01:13:24(??brought you to see me??)
through this fog of second-hand smoke.

01:13:33(?Do you think you?re the one??)
the one that I want, ooh ooh ooh.

01:14:02(?Balls to bones.?)
?how charming

01:14:15(?Open your mouth, say ?ahhhh.?? ?Ahhh.?)
You?re the one that could use a mint that?s for sure

01:14:25(Oracle holds Neo?s hands in hers)
Dishpan hands.

01:14:54(??like you?re waiting for something.?)
Did she stinkpalm him?

01:15:10(?Morpheus. He, ah?.?)
he like, likes you.

01:15:18(?Poor Morpheus.?)
aw c?mon, Biker Boys wasn?t that bad.

01:15:28(?What do you mean, Without him??)
what do you think she means you big pale dumbass?

01:15:39(?Morpheus believes in you, Neo.?)
Be excellent to each other.

[Tarantulas]

Should Mike ever get around to riffing the Matrix in full, he'll include all or parts of the winning riff.

That's an interesting statement.

I for one would love to see a full length Matrix Rifftrax.

[Shinigami]

Does that mean that a Matrix rifftrax isn't official.  I cannot describe how dissappointed I am.

[Joe Don Faker]

The Matrix rifftrax was never actually real...?  If I take the blue pill, can I deny myself this knowledge...?

[Adam]

01:12:06   (Neo enters kitchen): [Spoken in deep, Mike Nelson-as-narrator baritone]
           Doorway by Rick James.

Damn, I had nothing for that one. That's a good one!

Nice entries guys. I'm gonna be nervous till next Wednesday.

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

i was too busy to get one together

[Joe Don Faker]

Sorry, man.  Sincerely, maybe they'll do this again sometime, once they've forgotten the pain of reading the 1,327th spoon joke.

"I had a busy day. I had to drop guns off at Jimmy's, to match some silencers he had.
I had to pick up my brother at the hospital...and pick up some stuff for Lois, to fly down to some customers in Atlanta.   Also I was cooking dinner.  I had to start braising the beef and veal shanks for the tomato sauce.  It was Michael's favorite.  I was making ziti with gravy..roasted peppers...string beans with olive oil, and beautiful cutlets... Helicopters were dogging me all day long, and I still had to finish my entry for the Rifftrax Riffoff..."

[Tarantulas]

...yeah, we were a bunch of Pallies.

[Torgo's Helper]

01:15:18   (?Poor Morpheus.?)

(as Oracle)  Signed on for two sequels before reading the scripts...

Freakin' brilliant!!!

Hey, thanks!

I'm amazed by the quality of all the entries posted so far.  Some really hilarious riffs here, guys.  Mike and the rest of the crew have their work cut out for them.