What-o-lantern did we learn?

[Pastor of Muppets]

I learned that if you know that your father murdered your husband, there's no reason to get the police involved.
I learned that the police are too busy chaperoning Halloween parties in other towns to investigate serial murders.
I learned that if you know a Satanic cult is going around murdering people, and you know exactly where they meet, there's no need to tell the police.  Just go confront them on your own.

I swear, this movie is like Scream, except that you know exactly who the killer is in the very beginning of the movie, and all the characters know, but none of that information seems to help anyone.

[Pak-Man]

I learned that at Halloween parties, people will just start having sex, right there in the middle of the party, with the police watching.
I learned that if you hang outside of those Halloween Parties, sometimes some guy will come out and improv some stand-up.
I also learned that it won't be very good standup.

[ihavemyreasons]

I learned that our hero/villian...whatever the brother in the basement was supposed to be...isn't very good at pretending to play guitar even in his dreams.

I learned that it's awfully bright at night whereever it was that this was filmed.

[dbsommer]

I learned... nothing. I'm not even entirely sure of what the plot was. Give me any Joe Estevez joint and I understood it better.