What did we learn by watching this litter box?

[ihavemyreasons]

Nothing....I learned absolutely nothing...other than the reviews of this movie lied by implying that this was even worthy of reviewing.. and I learned that maybe my avoiding anything close to a Broadway show for most of my life has probably been justified.

[Pastor of Muppets]

I already hate musicals but I love cats.  Still, I think my love of cats makes me hate these abominations more.

This one is such a slog and although the guys get some good riffs in, they can't save it.  This movie is just so boring.  It's one song and dance number after another by a bunch of freaky crimes against God, and nothing ever happens.

[Pastor of Muppets]

I learned what happens when 60 percent of your movie's runtime is devoted to introducing characters.
I learned what happens when you are thoroughly introduced to every character via elaborate musical performance, but that's still not enough for you to care about any of them or their motivations.
I learned that this movie doesn't know that giving milk or cream to cats is a bad idea.
I learned what it's like when a movie is utterly devoid of conflict.  I mean, I guess they were all hoping to go to the Heaviside Layer, and Designated Villain Macavity decided to kidnap cats in order to force it.  But it's never really explained why they all want to go there, or what's so great about it, or why it's so great that Grizzabella was chosen.