What did we learn?

[Pastor of Muppets]

I learned that it is impossible for an adult to overpower a 9 year old.
I learned that in a multiple homicide investigation, the cops will just close the case and give up.
I learned that if a psychotic child is trying to murder you with some kind of ranged weapon that takes a long time to aim, you should be polite and stand still so that he doesn't miss.
I learned that a single arrow to the gut is instantly fatal.
I learned that if your child expresses fascination with how easy it would be to murder you, this is not a cause for alarm.
I learned that in Arizona, you get the day off school if your neighbor's sister's boyfriend is electrocuted.
I learned that when you know your children can't swim, there's no reason to bother putting a cover over your pool.
I learned that if your father is bludgeoned to death with an aluminum baseball bat, the police will let you keep the bat.
I learned that at a multiple homicide in a home, if the bodies are in different places around the house, that means the killer knew the victims.
I learned that you can throw a molotov cocktail, from 10 feet away, into a house filled with gas, cause a massive explosion, and be completely unscathed.