Now Available - A Dangerous Man

[Pak-Man]

A Dangerous Man

Feature film · 2022

There’s a plot here somewhere, assembled direct from the action movie cliche buffet. Warring mafias, human trafficking, corrupt cops, and wrongful imprisonment all congeal into each other on your p…

With Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

See it on RiffTrax

Steven Seagal, the Seven Mary Three of 90s action stars, has spent the past twenty years carving out a nice little niche releasing movies shot in countries that no longer exist, to direct-to-video formats which also no longer exist. One of these movies is A Dangerous Man, an oafish slurry of wet roads, attempted catchphrases, squinting has-beens, and far more gratuitous gun violence than you'd expect from a martial artist who also claims to be a devout Buddhist.

Seagal is not as agile as he once was, in the same sense that John F. Kennedy is no longer the great orator he once was. Fortunately, the director is able to use a subtle visual technique known as "cutting every nine frames and shaking the camera around like it's a can of spraypaint." Usually this means that a stuntman (who's much more in shape than Seagal and also probably isn't pals with Vladimir Putin), is forced to hurl themselves across a room and into a bookshelf when Seagal lightly taps them.

There's a plot here somewhere, assembled directly from the action movie cliché buffet. Warring mafias, human trafficking, corrupt cops, and wrongful imprisonment all congeal into each other on your plate. But at the forefront is the Dangerous Man himself, Steven Seagal, lurching toward the camera like a dad four beers in, confronting a Little League umpire in the parking lot after the game. Please join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for the first Steven Seagal movie in RiffTrax history: A Dangerous Man.

Written by: Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason

Contributing writers: Jason Miller and Zach Shatzer

[ihavemyreasons]

The most headache inducing editing ever - movie that is - riffing good.

[Pastor of Muppets]

I had to look up the year this movie was released.  2009.

In 2008, The Onion released a direct to DVD movie called, naturally, "The Onion Movie".  It's an okay movie with a bunch of vignettes loosely tied together into a plot. I think I remember there was a sketch about some Britney Spears type with highly sexual songs, which she claimed were not sexual at all.  And some joke about landmines being repurposed as athletic supporters.  And the plot had something to do with terrorism, since it was the 2000s.  I have it on DVD, but I think I only watched it once.

Anyway Steven Seagal was in that movie, and I remember thinking how overweight and terrible he looked.  I remember thinking "I guess it's good that he's still working and making money, but he used to be so much bigger and in better shape back in the 90s.  So I guess he's washed up and done making action movies now."

Then a year later, A Dangerous Man came out.  So I guess I was wrong.