What did we learn from Rifftrax: Assignment Guam

[fodder650]

We should do a thread of alternate titles like what I titled this or
     - Baywatch Guam
     - Radical Havoc (the lead actress just looks so damned much like Deedee Pfieffer)
The hotel in the movie has been renamed since this was filmed. Fine I looked it up on Google maps ok?
JCVD really needed to wear sandals in his movies. Apparently they are fatal.
All of us parents really needed to name our sons Max to max sure that our kids could defend themselves
David Carradines eyes were bright red in the movie. Something was not right there.
Did I mention Guam?
Oh yeah Shaft is brutal. He's the man. He's the, wow the movie really didn't think much of him.
This is far and away Carmen Electra's best role
Did I mention Guam?

[dbsommer]

Oh yeah Shaft is brutal. He's the man. He's the, wow the movie really didn't think much of him.

I suspect he was a one day hire (and Carradine a two) to add names people might recognize to this. So that means they had to shoot him fast.

And the no eyebrows guys did. Zing!

And nonsense. Carmen was clearly great in 'Two Headed Shark Attack.' Along with 'Sliders' lead actor's brother, and Hulk Hogan's daughter.

BTW, it's an actual series. They add a shark's head to each sequel.

As to what I learned: Carradine didn't really seem to give a damn in this one. Usually he tries.
I learned no eyebrows guy was not exactly the heavy for Max. Actually no one felt like they were. They fought him, but not in that arch rival way.
I learned this took place on some island somewhere. Tazmania unless I'm mistaken.
I learned the thief in this felt like she was being built up as a character, but then was definitely not.
I learned stealing in mid-riff bearing outfits is a thing.
I learned the bar scene felt really tacked on. I guess it was to show Max can kick butt, but his name already gave that away.

[fodder650]

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I learned stealing in mid-riff bearing outfits is a thing.
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I take it that you haven't played fantasy games? She was wearing heavy armor.