Now Available - Yesterday's Target

[Pak-Man]

Yesterday's Target

Feature film · 2019

Once upon a time, way back in 1996, the stars aligned and gave us Yesterday’s Target, a TV movie starring LeVar Burton, Malcolm McDowell, and a Baldwin brother!

With Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

See it on RiffTrax

Once upon a time, way back in 1996, the stars aligned and gave us Yesterday's Target, a TV movie starring LeVar Burton, Malcolm McDowell, and a Baldwin brother!

No, not Alec, too famous. No, not William, too handsome. No, not Stephen, too "funny." The other one. No, come on, there's another one, you just don't remember. Think. THINK. Okay, fine, we'll tell you: it's Daniel. Yes, Daniel Baldwin! No we didn't make him up; he's real, he's in Yesterday's Target, and he's travelled time to save us all, or something - so you should show him a little respect!

In this world, unexplained eleven-month pregnancies are bringing on a new generation of people with psychic superpowers - one might call them "mutants," or "X-Men," if one weren't too afraid of litigation. Daniel Baldwin, who can sorta move stuff with his mind, and a couple of his psychic pals have been sent back from the future to do... something? We're not really sure; it doesn't quite add up, but they do get a lot of headaches and grimace a lot.

Perhaps the strangest choice the movie makes is casting LeVar Burton, the world's nicest and most likeable actor, as a heartlessly cruel bad guy. Sometimes casting against type really works! Sometimes, it really doesn't. To paraphrase the Reading Rainbow theme song, "Take a look, it's in a book, it's a bad moooovie."

If all this sounds kind of strange and nonsensical, that's only because it is. Strap in for a psychic time-travel romp of Baldwinian proportions, join Mike, Kevin and Bill for Yesterday's Target!

Written by:
Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason

Contributing Writers:
Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer

[ephemeris]

Once again the small edits to the film made putting subtitles together harder. Most of the deleted scenes are very brief during the confusing final confrontation. I don't know if someone thinks making a hard to follow movie even harder to follow is funny or there's some other reason.

That said, here's a pretty good subtitle file I threw together. I'd give this 95% quality wise.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/7ut3s8ys13daxni/RiffTrax.s01e295%20Yesterday%27s%20Target.EN.srt?dl=0

[dbsommer]

That is perhaps the most spot on description of a movie you guys have done ever. I think you just described every aspect of the movie in detail, leaving nothing out, and it's entirely spot on.

Yes, it's that bad. Yes it can only be watched while riffed.