Rollergator Now Available!

[Pak-Man]

Rollergator

Feature film · 2015

A talking purple alligator puppet is on the run from a skateboard ninja employed by an evil carnival owner.

With Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

See it on RiffTrax

If you scooped a pile of goo out of a backed up gutter, submerged a pair of electrodes into it, fed it a slurry of protein rich nutrients while sending jolts of ever increasing voltages of electricity through until it demonstrated the most basic signs of what could technically be considered life, then immediately handed the pile of goo a video camera, it is impossible that it would make a worse movie than Rollergator.

Why is it so bad? Let's start with the ultra cliched plot: The talking, purple, almost twelve year old alligator is on the run from the skateboard ninja who is employed by the evil carnival owner. We know, we've heard it a million times. But here's where Rollergator differs from all the other talking animals the 90s gave us. Get this: he's totally in your face. We're talking x-treme with a capital X, 'tude with a capital '. Does he rap? Please. You may as well ask if Poochie ever hitchhiked to the fireworks factory.

Standing in the way of Rollergator's goal of endorsing every Blue Razzberry flavored product that 1996 had to offer is Joe Estevez. Joe is the villain, because he merely wants to put Rollergator in a cage, whereas the rest of humanity wants him destroyed in the quickest way possible. Joe thinks people will pay a pretty penny to see Rollergator quip at them. What he doesn't realize is that nobody will be able to hear Rollergator's quips because SOME HORRIBLE MUSICIAN IS PLAYING THE SAME AWFUL ACOUSTIC GUITAR RIFF OVER 98% OF THE MOVIE!!!

Shot on video without any fancy pants "microphones" or "lights" or "permits to record here", Rollergator is truly something to behold. We're not saying this is the worst movie we've ever done here at RiffTrax, but that's only because we aren't being asked to do so under penalty of perjury. Please join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Rollergator.

[Miku Fan]

Shot on video without any fancy pants "microphones" or "lights" or "permits to record here"

[distantdrain]

So, this is what you get when even Pirates World won't let you film at their theme park.

[Trekker4747]

Okay, seriously, I have to ask. Where in the world did you dig this up?!  Did you guys bid on a Self-Storage Unit, find an old trunk with a VHS tape in it and gave it a whirl?  Did you not think of the consequences? I mean, you could have set loose a demon with this thing, what if it's like the The Ring?!

[BathTub]

It's been bought up before, not sure what happened to the deleted thread.

http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php?topic=28923.msg854589#msg854589

[TriffRax]

Good golly miss Molly, this one was some Grade A deep hurting.

[Lembach]

There should be a certain level of movie quality before the guys riff it.

In my opinion, they shouldn't do anything with a budget of less than a million or so.

The guys are great, but the movie irritated me with it's cheapness (and THAT FUCKING GUITAR playing the whole fucking time) to the point I couldn't really enjoy the VOD.

Edit: This is the first Rifftrax VOD I could not finish (got 40:24 in) and deleted.

[Pak-Man]

Halfway through this and needed to come up for air. Gooood gravy this is bad.

There was a time when I figured The Star Wars Holiday Special was as bad as it got, then Rifftrax showed me The Room.
There was a time when I figured The Room was as bad as it got, then Rifftrax gave me Birdemic.
Now Rifftrax gives me Rollergator.

This... is rock bottom, right? There's no further down to go, is there?

[Trekker4747]

Sadly, we've probably not reached rock-bottom yet.  Somewhere out-there there is a movie that makes this movie look like Birdemic.

Good golly miss Molly, this one was some Grade A deep hurting.

That's Grade-A deep hurting after the scale went past A to Z, and all the way around back to A again.

There should be a certain level of movie quality before the guys riff it.

In my opinion, they shouldn't do anything with a budget of less than a million or so.

The guys are great, but the movie irritated me with it's cheapness (and THAT FUCKING GUITAR playing the whole fucking time) to the point I couldn't really enjoy the VOD.

Edit: This is the first Rifftrax VOD I could not finish (got 40:24 in) and deleted.

Eh, arbitrary numbers aren't going to help.  Besides a million would eliminate a lot of good riffs. I knew this one was going to be a struggle from the preview-clip.  But I reached a point where I gave-into the madness and wanted to see the end just to know where it was all going.  At the very least I had a pretty lady (whom I call very poor-man's Scarlett Johansson. And it seems she was a "teenager" when making his based on other reviews I've seen.... Which I'm not sure and if so she's an older teenager. I don't care she's pretty and they paraded her scantly dressed. Dammit I'm going to take what I can get!) to look at and the guys did help the pain somewhat.   Not likely one I'll often revisit but, still enjoyed it.

But, *man* it was a chore.

[The Lurker]

If you think this is bad, wait till you see the director's other film, Max Hell: Frog Warrior.

[yantubos]

There should be a Presidential Medal awarded to anyone who makes it through this "film".

[Trekker4747]

If you think this is bad, wait till you see the director's other film, Max Hell: Frog Warrior.

Who made a wonderful, delightful, cameo in this movie!

[Pak-Man]

So THAT'S what that was. I thought it was insanity kicking in.

[DrKlahn]

Though I haven't seen Max Hell Frog Warrior, this is still the worst our group has endured since our viewing in May of last year (see the link Bathtub posted above for our thoughts). Rock bottom? Maybe not. But it's darn close in my book. Now when we watch a B-movie the line "at least it isn't RollerGator" is usually uttered by someone.

[Trekker4747]

So THAT'S what that was. I thought it was insanity kicking in.

Well, it was still that. 45-minutes of NON-STOP ACOUSTIC GUITAR will do that.