Kiss the things you learned!

[Trekker4747]

Kiss them all up, right here!

[Darth Geek]

I learned that the best response when a couple assholes kills one of your spiders is to put a bunch more of them in an enclosed space where said assholes will panic and try to squish the spiders.

I learned that this is a REALLY lame ripoff of Willard.

[Trekker4747]

I learned: "Susan."

I've also learned there was apparently some campaign in the 1970s that *really" wanted us to believe that tarantulas were deadly poisonous.

[Darth Geek]

No one kissed, or was kissed by, a tarantula.

I was actually kind of impressed with this movie for a while. The mother died of a heart attack, the not teens in the VW died in hilarious ways because they panicked. They weren't actually implying that tarantulas were deadly poisonous. And then the guy died in the ductwork from apparently getting bitten.

I learned that in a movie titled Kiss of the Tarantula, the end villain death doesn't have to involve kisses or tarantulas in any way.

[TriffRax]

I learned once again that in the 70s you could stretch about twenty minutes of plot into a feature length movie.

[Darth Geek]

I learned that somebody thought the workings of body carrying gurneys was riveting cinema. It's not.

[Trekker4747]

I learned that a teenage/twenty-something girl could operate said body-carrying device quite easily, which strikes me as odd. I'd think it'd still take a good deal of strength and effort to get the bodies on/off the straps of it.

I learned that taking a tumble down the stairs that evidently shatters your spine or otherwise renders you immobile isn't too traumatic of an experience.  Mr. Creepy Uncle didn't seem to be too great deal of pain, or worry, to be coughing up blood, having seizures or really showing any signs of trauma whatsoever.

I learned that, it would seem, that when the pallbearers (or whoever) next lifts that casket they won't find it odd that it ways a heck of a lot more than a single teenage girl.

I learned that, apparently, the decline of drive-ins started in the 1970s.

[CJones]

I fell down the stairs in my own home Christmas before last. From the top landing. Backwards. 100% wooden stairs, no carpet or padding. I was carrying two suitcases upstairs and I misjudged the last step. And since my hands were full, I couldn't grab the railing in time. I ended up with a nasty bruise on my lower spine, but nothing else.

And that's the second time I've fallen down those stairs. I've learned that either movies grossly misrepresent the danger of falling down stairs, or I've been incredibly lucky. This is one of the few instances where I'm inclined to believe the latter.

[Trekker4747]

I'm sure if you tumble down the steps really good you could break an arm. Maybe a leg. But that'd have to be a pretty decent flight of steps that were maybe made of metal and with rocks for the landing.  My just starting to walk niece fell down steps when she was baby. She seemed more upset by the reaction from her parents than the fall itself.

I've slipped down some steps myself. Ended up more annoyed than dead or paralyzed.

So, yeah, I think movies way over do it. I'm not sure I've ever seen a movie where some fell down a flight of stairs and ended up alive at the end.

[Miku Fan]

I been falling down stairs since before Christ was a Corporal. Never done me no harm.

[Mark A. Siefert]

I learned that caskets are amazingly sound proof once you close the lid.

[Miku Fan]

I learned that somebody thought the workings of body carrying gurneys was riveting cinema. It's not.

Rock climbing, Joel, rock climbing.

[MerryWanna]

I learned that Susan Spiderchick is my new favourite Rifftrax girl. She's freaking hot.

[Trekker4747]

I half expected there to be a scene of her going next door to visit John Travolta.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I learned that they could have taken Jo "the love interest for our murderess" Penny out of the film without affecting a single blessed thing.