I gotta tell ya....

[NickE]

This was showing every sign of being the first RiffTrax that I wouldn't buy; I just couldn't see myself ever renting this movie, or polluting my DVD player with it.  I mean, it looks like "Spice World" created by somebody who is functionally retarded (which, by the way, would look pretty much identical to "Spice World"). 

But after realizing that this particular suckfest was by the auteur responsible for "Pootie Tang," and that this DVD was already on my shelf (evidently originally purchased for my daughter, who these days is now in college) ...

Well...

<plink> My RiffTrax collection is now one track larger.

Mike, don't let me down.

[WouTar]

I just finished with the movie and I must say...

Mike, thank you. You managed to make both the movie and especially Disembaudio VERY entertaining.

[DoctorZ]

OK.  After being humiliated by MJ on the MST3K discussion board for being a wuss and not wanting to rent Crossroads, I caved and went to the video store last night to rent it.

I had the worst experience with a clerk in my life.  I got the 20 something drugged chick with an ill fitting black wig  .  Now I'm what you call a middle aged man.  I tried to hide my rental by getting a copy of Samurai Fiction (great movie, btw).  I was at the end of a long line, being Friday night and all.  She swipes my card, processes the samurai movie, then comes to a dead halt, stares at the Crossroads DVD case, brings it closer to her face and says in a loud voice, "CROSSROADS!? I HATE Brittany Spears!  She's a whore!  Why are you renting this?  Do you have a daughter or do you just like skanky girl flicks?"  I was stunned. I couldn't say a thing.  I froze.  The other clerk was doing his best not to bust out laughing and I got all sorts of looks from the people in line from amusement, laughter to disgust.  Adding to the humiliation I blush easily and turned a bright shade of pink. 
Thank you so much Mike! Thank you Disembodio! Thank you MJ!  Humiliation is so good for the soul, I guess.  I hope this rifftrax was worth it.

[MrTorso]

OK.  After being humiliated by MJ on the MST3K discussion board for being a wuss and not wanting to rent Crossroads, I caved and went to the video store last night to rent it.

I had the worst experience with a clerk in my life.  I got the 20 something drugged chick with an ill fitting black wig  .  Now I'm what you call a middle aged man.  I tried to hide my rental by getting a copy of Samurai Fiction (great movie, btw).  I was at the end of a long line, being Friday night and all.  She swipes my card, processes the samurai movie, then comes to a dead halt, stares at the Crossroads DVD case, brings it closer to her face and says in a loud voice, "CROSSROADS!? I HATE Brittany Spears!  She's a whore!  Why are you renting this?  Do you have a daughter or do you just like skanky girl flicks?"  I was stunned. I couldn't say a thing.  I froze.  The other clerk was doing his best not to bust out laughing and I got all sorts of looks from the people in line from amusement, laughter to disgust.  Adding to the humiliation I blush easily and turned a bright shade of pink. 
Thank you so much Mike! Thank you Disembodio! Thank you MJ!  Humiliation is so good for the soul, I guess.  I hope this rifftrax was worth it.

If it was me I would have complained to the manager / owner or what have you and got my rentals for free. OR I would have unloaded on her with such a tirade that they would have to give me free shit to get me to leave. Was this a chain store or an independent store? We have an indie store in town that is chock full of those pretentious "film geeks" that think their shit don't stink. One time I rented some piece of fluff from them I got one of those smirks and some back handed comment about it, I ripped the clerk a new one. I went off about that person, how little they make working there and the fact of the matter if they were so cool why they worked in a place that rents titles like that. That shut him up.

[Tarantulas]

I would have said:

"No.. I'm renting this as part of a project that sperates jackass video store clerks from their minimum wage jobs.  Now please get your district manager on the phone because I'm not leaving the store untill I talk to them."

Once on the phone the converstation would focus on repremanding the employee, and ASSTONS of free merc for your trouble.

For the "film geek" type folks, I like to remind them that they aren't Jack Black, and this isn't "High Fidelity", THEN to get the manager on the phone.

Being an asshole goes both ways, and you have the upper hand since you didn't create the situation.

[DoctorZ]

Those of you who are familiar with the Sandman graphic novels will recall in the title The High Cost of Living the statement L'Esprit D'Escsalier The Spirit of the Staircase. It means the clever things to say that you only think to yourself when you're on the way out.  I wish I could have remembered that and got some of the freebies you guys were so adept at jumping on.  Age and slowness takes a toll.   I was also raised to be polite so that gets in the way as well.

[PlayMSTie]

See, this is EXACTLY why we need Rifftrax T-shirts. All we'd have to do is point to the "Some movies have it coming" slogan on the front to explain why we needed the movie.

Not that the clerk should have been so rude under any circumstances!

[Tarantulas]

I was also raised to be polite so that gets in the way as well.

Just remember Dalton's teachings, be nice, untill its time NOT to be nice.

Then take it outside.. or something.

[SaucyRossy]

Im sorry but I have NO shame....I rented this and some pimply faced 17 yo clerk tried to crack some jokes.

So i just said "I love her. I want to marry her and I want her to have my baby. Why do you laugh at me for renting this? I only wish to get to know her better....some day she will be mine and Kfed will be dying from choking on a wife beater that I shoved down his throat. Now please my I finish the transaction so I can go home and watch this? Thanks."

I said it in a dead pan tone also. it shut him up and every one was laughing. Hopefully no one took me seriously or else you may be seeing me on CNN.
"22 year old geek from xxxxx was caught on tape at a boobbuster video store threating to kidnap Brittany Spears and murder her husband with a "wife beater", he has been caught at his home while watching Crossroads"

[SmilinJackRoss]

Ahhhh, the wonderful anonimity of Netflix saves me from any and all embarrassment for renting these movies. 

[robertraur]

Boy that sucks, but you may try converting people like this over to Rifftrax.

Surly either buying or renting this movie will illicit a response.  After giving a viable reason, pull a scientology-like mind bend on them.  There are plenty of store clerks who are unaware of this service and they seem to be a strong gateway for others.

[Tyrant]

   Well, I keep trying to remind both myself and my husband that if anyone says anything when we rent these things, we'll mention Rifftrax. Not only does it justify the rental to the point where no one can say anything, but it might just get more people interested in Rifftrax and spreads the word.

  The initial shock of having to rent something like Crossroads is pretty traumatic, though. I'll admit.

[RandyMistie]

Wow, what a horrible thing to happen.  Tarantulas is right, you should have called her out with the manager!  But, yeah... that's what all of us dread will happen when we buy/rent these terrible films.

There is a clerk at my local Borders Books that knows and loves Rifftraxx and I found out when I bought my copy of MST3K Volume 10 along with "Cocktail".  He recognized the combination immediately and we geeked out about Rifftraxx for a few minutes before the line behind me got impatient.  I could probably get a copy of "Crossroads" when he was at the check out, but I tell ya, even then I wouldn't buy this movie knowing that "She Who Will Not Be Named" would get some money from my purchase.  I refuse to contribute to her ill-gotten wealth.

I will buy the MP3 tho, to support Mike and Legend.

[SmilinJackRoss]

I wouldn't buy this movie knowing that "She Who Will Not Be Named" would get some money from my purchase.  I refuse to contribute to her ill-gotten wealth.

It's just a drop in the bucket, friend.  Get it, it's worth it.  At least rent it.

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

I insult the movie before they do usually.  When i rented roadhouse, as he named the price i told it was a lot of money for a crappy movie and then he laughed.  I then explained rifftrax.

Also lets never forget the "falling down" method out of this situation by the way.

ps.  thats another good riffable one.