Where are the blockbuster movie riffs????

[kent18]

Apologies in advance for the length of this (quasi-)rant:

In my circle of fellow MST3K devotees, we often refer to what we've taken to calling, wistfully, "The Great Lost Riffs"; that is to say, movies which, demonstrably, should have been MSTies -- Night of the Lepus; The Terror of Tiny Town; Dondi; The Giant Claw; Chained for Life; Werewolves on Wheels; etc., etc. -- but, inexplicably, never ever were.

A corresponding list of "Great Lost RiffTrax" I've been carrying about in my head has been swelling, steadily and distressingly, of late.  An entire spate of awesomely wretched recent films which genuinely deserve savage and thoroughgoing maulings (e.g., Green Lantern, Jonah Hex, Rock of Ages, Cowboys and Aliens, Paranormal Activity 2, Machete, The Raven, ad infinitum) are falling through the cracks of opportunity... cinematic abominations upon which we'll all look back one day, guaranteed, and sigh:  "... man... if only they'd gone and done a Riff of THAT one, huh...?"

Look:  I truly, honestly, for realsies and no foolin' understand that brute economics does play a rightful (and inevitable) role in decisions such as these... but:  you can't possibly get me to believe that mp3s of major movie war crimes such as these -- with actual name recognition and a built-in potential audience of resentful viewers champing at the proverbial bit to watch them being (metaphorically) kicked to death -- don't/wouldn't make any money whatsoever.  Surely a scant few sops to the starving RiffTrax faithful -- those of us without any conceivable interest in yet a SEVENTH (!!!) Harry Potter riff, I mean -- wouldn't be completely out of line here, is all I'm suggesting.  Honest.

For the record:  I still faithfully purchase all RiffTrax ready-made DVDs (Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny; the live shows; etc.), and used to grab the downloadable stuff as well; but, lately, the unending stream of Neutrons and Brainiacs and whatnot simply Isn't.  Doing.  It.  For.  Me... and, thus, I find myself (however reluctantly) having to cast more and more frequent "Nay" votes with my own wallet, in turn.

Mike... Kevin... Bill:  please, just consider it... okay?      

[TheUnabeefer]

Mike... Kevin... Bill:  please, just consider it... okay?      

I wish they would.  I've been wishing for a riff of any and/or all of those you suggested since I heard of their existence.  I'm already debating boycotting the next damn Twilight riff for at least 3 months just on principle.

[kent18]

Battleship
The Cabin in the Woods
Cowboys and Aliens
Dark Shadows
Green Lantern
John Carter
Jonah Hex
Machete
Rock of Ages
Paranormal Activity 2
Paranormal Activity 3
The Raven

These are just the first dozen examples of mp3-worthy recent atrocities for which I would happily pay, say, $5.99 or #6.99 apiece... TWICE the current going RiffTrax rate of $3.99 per mp3, in other words.

Surely some sort of profit could be realized at that price level... couldn't it?

[RoninFox]

Battleship
The Cabin in the Woods
Cowboys and Aliens
Dark Shadows
Green Lantern
John Carter
Jonah Hex
Machete
Rock of Ages
Paranormal Activity 2
Paranormal Activity 3
The Raven

These are just the first dozen examples of mp3-worthy recent atrocities for which I would happily pay, say, $5.99 or #6.99 apiece... TWICE the current going RiffTrax rate of $3.99 per mp3, in other words.

Surely some sort of profit could be realized at that price level... couldn't it?

Things get very tricky when you fiddle with prices though.  If you double the price for the same kind of product you might lose more than two thirds of your paying audience and wind up worse off.  Just because you are willing to pay extra, doesn't mean everyone else would, or could, match it.

[Thrifty]

I wouldn't be so annoyed at a lot of VODs if they would just introduce some variety.  They seem to do long strings of the same stuff, and it starts to breed annoyance.  Either a long string of blockbuster movie riffs or a long string of VODs will draw complaints.  I don't want the message they take away from that to be "There's just no pleasing these people!" but rather "These people need some variety."

MST3K was a good show, but I feel like Rifftrax should stop trying to be MST3K v2.  Cinematic Titanic does a fine job filling that role, and they at least have the decency to release their stuff on DVD with chapters and menus.

[ScottotD]

The Cabin in the Woods

Have you actually seen this?

[kent18]

Battleship
The Cabin in the Woods
Cowboys and Aliens
Dark Shadows
Green Lantern
John Carter
Jonah Hex
Machete
Rock of Ages
Paranormal Activity 2
Paranormal Activity 3
The Raven

These are just the first dozen examples of mp3-worthy recent atrocities for which I would happily pay, say, $5.99 or #6.99 apiece... TWICE the current going RiffTrax rate of $3.99 per mp3, in other words.

Surely some sort of profit could be realized at that price level... couldn't it?

Things get very tricky when you fiddle with prices though.  If you double the price for the same kind of product you might lose more than two thirds of your paying audience and wind up worse off.  Just because you are willing to pay extra, doesn't mean everyone else would, or could, match it.

The precise dollar amount isn't really the point, however:  it's that A price increase from the standard $3.99 per mp3 for newer films might (and, IMHO, most likely could) render them profitable enough to continue once more.

Could I be wrong?  Certainly I could... but, as no one's bothered to try it, yet:  I might just as easily be right, as well. 

[kent18]

The Cabin in the Woods

Have you actually seen this?

Certainly; otherwise, I wouldn't have recommended it.

I'm aware that some folks out there thought a good deal more highly of Cabin than I did... but, always remember that every film has some fans, regardless.  (I know people who actually liked Green Lantern, after all.) 

Avengers (just as a f'rinstance) both made more money AND has a higher Tomatometer ranking than Cabin, and there are plenty of folks happily awaiting a Riff of that film... so I don't see any particular reason why the latter should be considered sacrosanct, personally. 

[alexonfyre]

The best riffs are those where the movie is good enough to watch on its own (or bad enough to be funny on its own) and the riffs make them that much better. That way, when the jokes are falling flat, or there is a lull, you aren't falling asleep at least. Except for a few (Ice Cream Bunny and GhostHouse stand out), the VODs just don't have that. It's the same reason I always fall asleep during the LoTR riffs (the movies are just SO DAMN BORING!)

There are many different sects of rifftrax fans who all like different types of riffs for different reasons, and I'm sure the low-budget public domain B-movie crowd is loving it right now, and haven't taken to the forums since they are happy. However, as a modern movie fan I am expressing my need for more Full Length MP3s! It would be really nice if they did at least one VOD (or a few shorts) and one mp3 every month.

[Wernski]

I prefer this content, partially because it doesn't require me to spend so much time and effort turning an mp3 into something I can watch...  I just wish they'd release more DVDs.

[ShadowDog]

Is it really THAT hard to sync a riff up to a freaking DVD? Really? I'm like functionally retarded when it comes to electronics and I manage to do it fine every time.  It's not rocket science.  Hell, it's not even firecracker science. You start the DVD when they tell you to and ... wham!  It's done.  I've had more trouble ordering at a drive thru than I ever have syncing a riff.

If somebody calls or you have to do something you just leave it running and come back in five minutes.  You'll catch that five minutes next time you watch it.  I'm amazed that so many people think the "difficulty" of syncing an MP3 is factor in sales.

[Zombie Monty]

Mike already confirmed that Avengers and Dark Knight Rises were coming soon, so at least we will be getting those two.  Also hope to see Hunger Games at some point as well.

[Edward J Grug III]

I don't think it's as much the syncing as it is the 'having to get the movie,' since it's proven that the really top selling movies, sell well as riffs.

I am sure the syncing plays into it too, but if that were the only factor, the other titles would sell as well as Harry Potter etc.

[Darth Geek]

It's not rocket science.  Hell, it's not even firecracker science.

I need to start using this phrase.


And yes, syncing riffs is really easy. And getting them back in sync is pretty easy as well with the .txt file. Except for some iRiffs, which don't have the sync times in the .txt file. Seriously people, it's what that file is for!

[ManUnderMask]

I think the problem isn't so much syncing the riffs, but the amount of time it takes for reauthors to reauthor. It takes me about two or so hours to just auto duck, but then my computer is four and a half years old.