Horror Movie a Day: October 2011

[shodan]

day 18 treehouse of horror I, II,III, IX
day 19: chuckie
day 20: rifftrax house on hauted hill
day 21: rifftrax birdemic

[Darth Geek]

Movie #21: Halloween 3

Ugh, this was fucking boring.  I always heard how this got a bad rap simply because there was no Michael Myers in it, and that it's actually a decent movie if you give it a chance.  Fuck that, this thing sucks.  I thought the concept was kind of cool but the execution just wasn't there.  Plus, they have the audacity to show a damn commercial for the original Halloween (in which they refer to it as a "timeless classic", was Halloween already considered a timeless classic when the third one came out?), taunting us with images of a much better movie.  I almost watched this with the Hor-RIFF-ic Riff, but decided to watch it unriffed instead.  I really regret it.  1/5

Make sure to watch it with the Hor-Riff-ic riff, though, it's awesome.

[D.B. Barnes]

Movie #21: Halloween 3

Ugh, this was fucking boring.  I always heard how this got a bad rap simply because there was no Michael Myers in it, and that it's actually a decent movie if you give it a chance.  Fuck that, this thing sucks.  I thought the concept was kind of cool but the execution just wasn't there.  Plus, they have the audacity to show a damn commercial for the original Halloween (in which they refer to it as a "timeless classic", was Halloween already considered a timeless classic when the third one came out?), taunting us with images of a much better movie.  I almost watched this with the Hor-RIFF-ic Riff, but decided to watch it unriffed instead.  I really regret it.  1/5

Make sure to watch it with the Hor-Riff-ic riff, though, it's awesome.

I'll second that. The riff is damn funny. It really adds to the absurdity of the movie.

[JimJ]

Movie #21: Halloween 3

Ugh, this was fucking boring.  I always heard how this got a bad rap simply because there was no Michael Myers in it, and that it's actually a decent movie if you give it a chance.  Fuck that, this thing sucks.  I thought the concept was kind of cool but the execution just wasn't there.  Plus, they have the audacity to show a damn commercial for the original Halloween (in which they refer to it as a "timeless classic", was Halloween already considered a timeless classic when the third one came out?), taunting us with images of a much better movie.  I almost watched this with the Hor-RIFF-ic Riff, but decided to watch it unriffed instead.  I really regret it.  1/5

Make sure to watch it with the Hor-Riff-ic riff, though, it's awesome.

Yeah, I plan to eventually.  Might take me a couple of days before I can stand to hear that jingle again without going into a murderous rage.

[Darth Geek]

Movie #21: Halloween 3

Ugh, this was fucking boring.  I always heard how this got a bad rap simply because there was no Michael Myers in it, and that it's actually a decent movie if you give it a chance.  Fuck that, this thing sucks.  I thought the concept was kind of cool but the execution just wasn't there.  Plus, they have the audacity to show a damn commercial for the original Halloween (in which they refer to it as a "timeless classic", was Halloween already considered a timeless classic when the third one came out?), taunting us with images of a much better movie.  I almost watched this with the Hor-RIFF-ic Riff, but decided to watch it unriffed instead.  I really regret it.  1/5

Make sure to watch it with the Hor-Riff-ic riff, though, it's awesome.

Yeah, I plan to eventually.  Might take me a couple of days before I can stand to hear that jingle again without going into a murderous rage.

After you watch the riff, you'll want to make it your ringtone. 

[D.B. Barnes]

#21 - Human Centipede: First Sequence

Fuck this shit! This thing shouldn't even exist. It's nothing but a ninety-minute gross-out. This is like watching your soul get sucked out of your body and trampled by rhino. Why the fuck did I watch this? I really should've known better.  And they're making a sequel?!? Yeah, I'm really looking forward to that. Suck the pipe, movie.

MOVIE GRADE: D-

[Compound]

Blood Mania (1970)
Okay, I'm starting to dip into the public domain stuff.  In this one, a sex-crazed girl arranges for her father to die so that her doctor can collect insurance money so that he can pay off a con man.

Okay, the plot. Doc needs money and is sleeping with psycho sex-crazed girl. Scumbag from Doc's past blackmails Doc for 50 grand or else he'll reveal that Doc performed abortions back in college. (It's 1970. They were illegal then.)  Doc and psycho girl arrange  to kill Dad to get his insurance money. Well, arrange is a strong word. He just kinda dies. In his will, he leaves all his money to his other, not seen before daughter. Doc moves in on her. Psycho daughter goes more psycho. She kills her sister. Doc's annoyed. They dump the body and then Aiiieeee! She's back! Psycho faints. Doc looks like he had a bad meal. Dad girl falls, revealing that scumbag was propping her up. Um, it's scary. Boo. This plot also neglects the bazillion sex scenes and the one random rape in the middle.

Good lord. Boooooooooring. There's next to nothing happening here. Plus, it's a 70s film and the film makers took every opportunity to have the ladies in the film sans clothing. Frankly, you'll see fewer topless scenes in a Girls Gone Wild video. The plot sucks and I've seen better stories on bad episodes of Tales from the Darkside. And despite IMDB's insistence that this was a horror film, it was about as frightening as "Mother May I Sleep with Danger?" The one sole bright moment in the film was when the Dad's nurse got 1500 bucks in the will and she suddenly decided that she was an heiress. Even back then, that was equivalent to about 10 grand these days. Maybe 20. That's not exactly "Woo! I'm living the highlife" cash.

Anyway, pass, pass, pass. Do not watch

[Rattrap007]

Project Metalbeast: DNA Overload (1994)

Soldier goes to Romania in the 1970s to find werewolf DNA in order to make ultimate supersoldiers.  Soldier easily kills werewolf to get DNA, which shows slight flaw in plan right off the bat.  Soldier injects himself with DNA without permission, goes on killing spree.  Head of Top Secret Project Barry Bostwick puts guy on ice for 20 years, thaws him for use for other Top Secret military project: grafting metallic, impenetrable skin onto dangerous, psychotic soldier.

Barry Bostwick's character lacks what we call common sense.

Movie is played mostly straight, and has some decent gore, but the normal werewolves look a little goofy.  Still, Kane Hodder as the Metalbeast (aka the Porcupine from Hell) is decent.  The ending is amusing, but the movie does drag in the middle when the script sort of wonders what exactly to do next.

Also, it never got a Region 1 DVD release; it's really only available on VHS and possibly other places...places that if you look hard enough, YOU TU might BE able to find it.

Isn't the killer in this named Butler? I remember seeing this a longtime ago and thinking "So the Butler did it huh.."

[JimJ]

Movie #22: The Thing (2011)

Yeah, this was pretty much what I expected based on the reviews and things I've heard. Way too much CGI, though some effects do look pretty cool. This just made me want to watch the original instead. 2/5

[SJP]

Isn't the killer in this named Butler? I remember seeing this a longtime ago and thinking "So the Butler did it huh.."

Yes.  Yes he is.  And yes he does.

Movie 22: Young Frankenstein.  Was looking for something a little more upbeat today.  Still a classic.  It'd be easier just to post a link to the script than write down every memorable line.

[D.B. Barnes]

#22 - Daybreakers

This was surprisingly good. I wasn't really expecting much and ended up enjoying it quite a bit. For one, it's a great looking film with very cool visual elements and some striking imagery. I loved the stark contrast between night and day, as if day was impossibly bright. Second, it does a good job of distinguishing itself from the standard movies of the genre. The story is cool and different. It falls apart a bit towards the end, but not enough to kill the overall experience. Good performances with the standout being Sam Neill as a ultra-hateable bad guy.

MOVIE GRADE: B

[gojikranz]

species IV the awakening.

the story was  bit more followable this time about but sadly the effects have gone fully the way of cheap CGI.  pretty lame.

[Relaxing Dragon]

The Serpent and the Rainbow. Pretty good zombie movie, one that harkens back to when zombies were more of a voodoo, spirit-controlling curse rather than a flesh-eating disease. Has a lot of very freaky dream sequences, and a truly monstrous bad guy (as evidenced primarily by his scrotum-attacking torture methods). Also good to see another good Bill Pullman role (and a good Wes Craven movie); there doesn't seem to be enough of either out there (OK, in Wes' defense I need to see a lot more of his stuff).

Then I was able to get through three yesterday, so I'm all caught up now on the days I missed.

Cold Prey. Norwegian slasher movie that follows a few teens who get stranded in an isolated ski resort. This one got a lot of good buzz, but I just don't see it. It's not bad or anything, it's just entirely unremarkable. No especially good kills, a standard enough bad guy (with attached story twist), gaggle of moderately-likable (by which I mean not-totally-hatable) teens, the works. A bread-and-butter modern day slasher, fine enough to sit through and no reason to ever return to it.

The Burning. Old school summer camp slasher from 1981, and actually pretty good (and featuring a super-young George from Seinfeld). Has a nice amount of teenage ham and cheese from back in the day (in terms of acting and relationships, respectively), and plenty of decent kills. Main badguy's pretty interesting too, or at least how he's made up is. As the title states, there's a fair amount of burning in this movie (when the main killer isn't knocking people off with his hedge shears, of course), and the fire/stunt effects look really cool. Good practical movie all around, as only the 80s could deliver.

Day of the Dead (1985). I think this one is Romero's favorite of the ones he directed, and that's a stance I can get behind. It may not be my personal favorite zombie movie (all hail '78 Dawn of the Dead! Which I should be watching momentarily!), but it's in my Top 5 at least. A great collection omf mostly-unlikable characters that represent a good, grim look at humanity on the very edge; you've got the psychotic soldiers, the naive (or outright insane) scientists, and the few civilians just trying to get by, It's a very dark movie, as one isolated in the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse should be, and it carries the atmosphere along very well. Plus, the gore is about as good as it gets when it comes to zombie movies. And who can forget Bub? Great movie through and through, no two ways about it.

The Serpent and the Rainbow:
Best Bit: I really like one of the latter dream sequences, the coffin-heavy. Pullman's character wakes up in his bedroom, when suddenly the walls slam shut and close in on him. Up above the main badguy appears and starts laughing, and then Pullman's room has become a coffin that's filling up with blood. it's a very creepy and well put together sequence, greatly assisted by the freaky camera angles.
Death Count: 3

Cold Prey:
Best Bit: Not really a lot to get into here, although the final kill (before the bad guy eats it), is shot really cool. Almost a first person look at a pickaxe coming down on your face, it lands just next to the camera with a close, sickening crack into meat. Rather effective, and it's a shame the rest of the movie didn't have cool parts like this.
Death Count: 5

The Burning:
Best Bit: When the killer hides in a canoe out in the middle of the lake, and surprises a group of teens on a raft coming his way. The buildup is pretty good (I was actually expecting something entirely different with the canoe, even though it's rather obvious what was going to happen looking in retrospect), and then there's lots of excellent gore and kills when he starts slashing away. Not often you see mass, inimtate-range killings like this, even in slasher movies, so this one's got that going for it as well.
Death Count: 10

Day of the Dead:
Best Bit: I really don't think I could choose, although most of the deaths are always a good place to start. One even made my kill list (you all know which one). I pretty much love all this movie, through and through. The score is remarkably addictive as well, in that synthesizer-heavy, 80s sort of way.
Death Count: 9

[SJP]

The Blob (1988)

Another 80s remake I think is an improvement over a decent original (although the first does gain a plus for both Steve McQueen and the theme song), though compared to The Thing it tends to be ignored.  Several shots of the superimposed Blob do have a nasty blue screen ring around them that I'd love to see get corrected in a Blu-ray release (one of the few things I don't mind digital equipment cleaning up, along with some bad print damage during the credits on the DVD release), but it's still got some creepy scenes and plenty of gross-out moments to make it memorable.  What helps a lot is how far Chuck Russell goes to make the Blob a real force of nature, including...
The early death of the straight-laced boyfriend who is assumed to be the hero up to that point and the death of a kid.  In a slasher film, these would be tasteless moments of shock.  Here, it reinforces that the Blob simply does not discriminate; you're moving, you get eaten, plain and simple.  Its very frightening to imagine a monster that not only is incapable of reason, but kills you by digesting you alive.  Plus, when I was a kid, that first face melting scared the crap out of me.

The acting's okay, but it was nice to see the kid from Return of the Living Dead 2 show that he actually can be not annoying.  Not that he does too much, but it's certainly a better performance.

Plus, fun fact!  I misquoted this for the Dubious Achievements List.  It should actually read, "You're gonna love this, he hotcurls her to death."

Highly recommended, especially if you need a couple extra onscreen deaths to go for the month...I totaled up 23.

[JimJ]

Movie #23: The Baby's Room

This was not too bad. A Spanish film about a young couple in a new house who keeps seeing someone in the baby's room (on the fancy video baby monitor they buy). Decent haunting type movie with a twist. 3/5