Star in your own Twilight knock-off book!

[Thrifty]

This gives me the jibblies.

[doggans]

My LiveJournal has an ad for this ever since I reposted my brother's New Moon review. As soon as I saw it, I was simultaneously depressed for our culture, and in awe of this publisher's utter genius. They're going to be rich.

[Pak-Man]

Hmm. This warrants investigation. (Goes to check out the free preview)

I love this bit of advice in the name field:

(Usual first name - i.e. Jen versus Jennifer. Only capitalize the first letter!
If you can't think of a heroine, try Kristen Stewart, Blake Lively or Dakota Fanning.)

And for the male:

(Usual first name - e.g. Mike versus Michael. Only capitalize the first letter!
Can't think of a hero? Consider Robert Pattinson, Nick Jonas or Taylor Lautner!)

Now to insert the first forum member names that come to mind, and VOILA! Good ol' fashioned nightmare fuel!

"Did you enjoy the party?" Gbeenie tilted her head and reached up a hand to remove her earrings as she watched RVR in the mirror. That's another myth gone. His reflection's as visible as mine.
     "Let me," RVR whispered, circling her ear with one night-cool finger. "Ah, the party. It was interesting. Your friend Courtney has a great deal of energy."
     "That's one way to put it! No fear, no speedometer, no brakes. That's what she'd say." Gbeenie smiled fondly. "She's a good friend."
     "Yes." He looked deep into the mirror, seeing something she could not find; he forgot to pretend to breathe, lost in thought. Gbeenie waited, curious and concerned, idly admiring the line of his jaw, the sparkle of his hazel eyes.
     A slow nod signaled his return to the moment. "Courtney has suspicions about me. About what I am."
     Gbeenie froze. "Are you sure?"
     "She seems to have held her ideas for quite some time, on little evidence. Is she one of those who romanticizes my kind? There are many who seem strangely fascinated with my fictional brethren."
     "Well, Courtney likes vampire flicks, but she's no Goth.What exactly did she say?"
      RVR repeated the conversation verbatim. "As I said, she has little evidence, but still she persists in her conviction, and I cannot argue. She is, after all, correct about what I do."
      Gbeenie stared at him. "RVR?" Her voice was high and soft. "Would you show me? I mean...what you do? How you feed?"
     "I would rather not." Her face fell, and he had to look away. "If you feel it necessary, I shall. When you are certain. Not until then." Gentle as the brush of a shadow, he stroked her cheek, kissed her, and vanished into the night, leaving her alone.
     Gbeenie lay awake long into the night, falling finally into a restless, dream-haunted sleep about RVR where each ray of sunshine coming through the windows was first his touch, then a brand of fire, alternately pleasure and pain. She woke, sweating and chilled, wondering why she didn't just turn and run away....

[Tyrant]

The synopsis:

Optimus Prime is a studious, book-loving high school senior whose safe world is turned upside down when she's drawn to the hero of our story, Purplemonkeydishwasher Smith, an immortal vampire whose dangerous 'unlife' is both frightening and fascinating. Their friends Spiderman and Mr.T advise and support this starcrossed pair as they begin a turbulent relationship.

And now, a breathtaking preview:

Purplemonkeydishwasher had been staring out into the stars for a while when a familiar low voice interrupted his thoughts. "Friend, you've got to get over this girl."
     He whipped his head around and saw Mr.T climbing up with practiced ease onto the roof to join him. The other vampire continued, "What's gotten into you? I've never seen you so taken with anyone. Especially a mortal!" Mr.T spat out the word with disgust. "They are ours for feeding. You treat this one as if she were your pet."
     "No. Optimus is not a pet. I think I am in love with her."
     "Oh, I see. Forgive me if I have a hard time understanding that one, Purplemonkeydishwasher." Mr.T bared his teeth in a wicked smile. "I must say, your strength in her presence is admirable. I'm certain that I could not contain my desire to taste of her sweetness."
     Purplemonkeydishwasher shot his friend a glare that could have punctured like a dagger. "You shall not touch her!"
     "Calm down. I wouldn't dare face your wrath. But don't you see the pointlessness of all this?"
     "I'll tell her, truly I shall. Soon." Purplemonkeydishwasher stared up at the unforgiving night sky. "She is a modern woman. Perhaps she might understand?"
     Mr.T chuckled softly. "Perhaps."
     Purplemonkeydishwasher shook his head, wincing. He did not want to tell her. He wanted to hang on to the fantasy for just a few days more, pretend to be a mortal man. Even if he could never experience the daylight as reflected in her blue eyes or see the sun dance on her silver hair.
     "What are you afraid of, Purplemonkeydishwasher? That she won't understand, that she'll turn and run?" Mr.T narrowed his eyes. "Or is it that you think she might accept you for what you are? Afraid of a happy ending? The great and powerful vampire, trembling over a mortal teenage girl. Amazing! Count Dracula is rolling in his grave!"
     Purplemonkeydishwasher had to laugh. It was ridiculous. But still he ached. He could not tell her. Not yet.

[Pak-Man]

I've read worse fanfiction. :^)