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[AmazingThor]

"The strong guy! The fat guy! The genius!" -old Letterman bit (back when he used to be funny)

[J-Proof]

"I gotta FEE-vuh'...... and the only per-SCRIP-shun..... is more COW bell....baby..."

[Hebs]

"I gotta FEE-vuh'...... and the only per-SCRIP-shun..... is more COW bell....baby..."

"He was a stiffly - Stifferson... yeah I showed him... I'd like to prank him for hours in my basement...."

[solidgear]

"I was always kinda partial to Roy Rodgers actually, really liked those sequence shirts." - John McClane

[AmazingThor]

Exetor: "It will be a peaceful relocation"
Tom: "after the genocide of course"

[Sideswipe]

"I gotta FEE-vuh'...... and the only per-SCRIP-shun..... is more COW bell....baby..."

"He was a stiffly - Stifferson... yeah I showed him... I'd like to prank him for hours in my basement...."

"I put my pants on the same ways as you, of course after I do that I go on to make gold records."

[Oceaniclost]

"You're so Namby Pamby" Drop Dead Fred

[Junkyard]

"What radioactivity!" - the line said by a soldier to ruin one of the few dramatic scenes in a Godzilla film- Godzilla vs Destroyah

[RobtheBarbarian]

"... These go up to eleven."

[AmazingThor]

"So there, I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopkeeper and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes."

[BobEvil]

"He was a stiffly - Stifferson... yeah I showed him... I'd like to prank him for hours in my basement...."

"I pranked him...in the face...with a tire iron!"

[kodiakthejuggler]

"Quiet, Ur. I'm transmitting rage."

~ Ignignokt,
Leader of the Mooninites
Aqua Teen Hunger Force

[RobtheBarbarian]

"I am... completely... out of ammo. -empty stare- That's never happened to me before."

Burt Gummer, Tremors 2

[Hebs]

"The cars... they... are angry... "  - Max Overdrive

[Junkyard]

"What would you promise me to ensure that you and your descendants live in the land of Canaan forever?"
"Oh, I'd do most anything, my Lord!"
"Good. Give me the foreskin from your penis."
"Excuse me?"
"Give me the foreskin from your penis."
"That's what I thought. But I'm confused- What is a foreskin?"
"That's that useless bit of flesh at the end of the penis."
"I thought that was a man."
"No, I meant the other end."
"Oh."
"This will be a covenant between me and thee, Abraham. You will be a knight in my Army! I will dub thee Sir Cumcision!"
"But why? Why do you want my foreskin?"
"I'm making a wallet!"
"Oh."
"When I rub it, it will turn into a suitcase! Muhhahahahahaha! Ahhahahahahaha!"

-God and Abraham in The Reduced Shakesphere Company's "The Bible: Abridged."