Worst Film Ever, and I've Enjoyed Most of its Competition

[Elijah Baley]

I grew up on the later seasons of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I saw Dungeons and Dragons in its original theatrical release, and I sat through Rope without being physically angry at Hitchcock, experiencing only disappointment. Hell, I enjoyed the Schumacher Batman films before I was old enough to know any better, and I think I remember unironically begging my dad to rent Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. In my pre-MST3K days, we would watch The Milpitas Monster as a family. Hell, it was a family tradition. and we didn't live anywhere near Milpitas.

Maybe I can best express this one way: Despite years of the best post-apocalyptic books and movies --- Terminator 2, A Canticle for Leibowitz, The Stand as a novel --- I enjoyed most of The Postman, almost all of it right up to the Hoover Dam part. Even worse, I enjoyed The Postman as a fully grown adult, after graduating from college.

None of them could have prepared me for Battlefield Earth.

This is the first time I've felt as if a thin smear of filth enveloped my body because I watched a movie. The study stream of absolute hilarity couldn't distract me from the tilted camera or the mono-hued cinematography or the ludicrous performance by John Travolta. "This movie really takes itself seriously," I thought to myself. "Travolta really considers this an expression of faith, or something."

In a strange way, I've grown from seeing this movie, much like reading Twilight or hearing latter-day Bill Watrous perform. This sucks so bad. If they can make this movie, or get this published or make a career out of drug abuse, I could, too.

Just ... ugh.

The Star Wars Holiday Special is the only thing possibly worse than this, so I suppose its riffed version is up next. I can only hope it will wipe most of my memory of this film out of my mind.

[mrbasehart]

The Star Wars Holiday Special has been riffed.  And officially by Mike and the guys!

Don't feel no shame for liking The Postman.  That film rocks.

[Doctor Who?]

I would say The Room is worse then this.  At least BFE has action scenes,stupid ones but they are action scenes.  If you think this is a badly done action movie you have not scene Transformers yet.

[Elijah Baley]

Once you got past the conceit of Transformers, it was nowhere near as stupid as Battlefield Earth. BE ramps it up consistently throughout the movie, while Transformers is pretty standard CGI Bay schlock.

I haven't seen The Room, but as an independent film on a shoestring budget, I can forgive it for sucking very badly. Battlefield Earth has no excuse.

I'm watching SWHS with RiffTrax on, and it's a blast. Considering how just plain bad holiday specials are, I'd say that BE is still a lot worse than SWHS.

[monoceros4]

Once you got past the conceit of Transformers, it was nowhere near as stupid as Battlefield Earth. BE ramps it up consistently throughout the movie.

That's really what it comes down to.  Battlefield Earth might not be the "worst" in the sense of least entertaining and, given the choice, I'd rather watch it (with or without riffing) instead of the Star Wars Holiday Special.  But there's a special kind of stupid in BE that really isn't seen that often.  Every time you think the villain couldn't possibly make a worse decision, he ups himself.  Is Terl right about anything in the movie?  I mean, one single thing?  Even his enunciation gets dumber from scene to scene.