Favorite lines?

[Thrifty]

"FIVE POINT SEVEN PERCENT!"

"As a loan officer, she spends a lot of time with change!"

"They're like Jim and Pam without the chemistry."

"Here I'll turn UP the speakerphone volume.  I'm sure she's long gone. (and the speakerphone riffs that followed)."

"She'll need a lot of thumb tacks and post its to work on that job at home.  You know.  Job stuff."

"You look like that chick from Dragon Wars."

"Good to see that the sun setting has no effect on the ambient lighting of the room."

"She wants them to bring back Ecto Cooler Hi-C.  You can make that happen?"

Christine: "You know how cats are.  They come and they go."
Mike: "But mostly they lol."

"Haven't you heard?  The cake is a lie!"

"There's more slime in this movie than on Double Dare."

[TheUnabeefer]

"You have such a good heart"  It's going to be delicious.

[Wiseblood]

When she pulls out the flashlight: "Why did you bang on it? It was working fine!"

[CJones]

At the dinner with his parents:

"She's facing a dilema. The meatloaf isn't sitting well, but the bathroom is so close, and the door doesn't look all that soundproof."

[CJones]

"Put your hands on the Animal. The tell-all biopic of Janice the Muppet"

"So, Damn it Forward"

Yes, I'm posting as I watch it.

[Thrifty]

"Put your hands on the Animal. The tell-all biopic of Janice the Muppet"

"So, Damn it Forward"

Yes, I'm posting as I watch it.

I do that too.  Sometimes I just watch it with a clipboard and jot down the favorite lines as they come.

[ShadowDog]

Damn it forward was a very funny line and one of the ones that made me laugh the most.  Also, the jokes about Mike coughing up the cat.  LMFAO

[cfkane]

What worked with this riff is that the onscreen stuff really was horrifying. And that made the jokes all the more appreciated 

The ending line floored me

Justin Long, after Christine gets Dragged: I, I'm free! I can finally ask John Hodgman out!

[Moca Java]

Psychic: You have lost something

"A coolest boyfriend contest?"

Not exact but I laughed. Justin Long just gets no love.

[AJMoosie]

My personal favorites:

Telephone message: It's Jim Jacks
"Calling to see if I got any in my mouth."

"Her contempt for farmpeople cannot be overestimated."
"Go to Hell, agriculture!"

(after Lohman sees the picture of her former overweight self)
"A horrifying alternate universe where pigs exhibit teenage girls at the county fair"

"Of course, any day spent in close proximity to Justin Long could be considered rough"