What Trekie things did we learn from this 'rendition'..?

[Cosmic Muse]

I learned that an actor can play Captain James T. Kirk without having to utilize an overexaggerated impression of William Shatner.

[Indomitus]

I learned that Delta Vega is close enough to Vulcan for marooned Spock to watch the destruction of his homeworld.  With his naked eyes.
So that's pretty close then. 

Closer than the Earth to the Moon, if the depiction is right.
And yet far enough away to not feel any effects from the singularity that consumed the planet.  Ain't physics grand?

Also... I learned that it's more satisfying to maroon your hated enemy on a random planet to suffer instead of keeping them on the ship so you could enjoy and perhaps enhance their suffering firsthand.
Plus, it's VERY important that this planet seem inhospitable and yet have a Federation outpost within survivable walking distance.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

Suspensionofdisbeliefium.

Isn't that like kryptonite for a Trekkie?

If it was, TOS wouldn't have gotten past the fight with the Gorn in "Arena"

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I learned that Delta Vega is close enough to Vulcan for marooned Spock to watch the destruction of his homeworld.  With his naked eyes.
So that's pretty close then. 

Closer than the Earth to the Moon, if the depiction is right.
And yet far enough away to not feel any effects from the singularity that consumed the planet.  Ain't physics grand?

Also... I learned that it's more satisfying to maroon your hated enemy on a random planet to suffer instead of keeping them on the ship so you could enjoy and perhaps enhance their suffering firsthand.
Plus, it's VERY important that this planet seem inhospitable and yet have a Federation outpost within survivable walking distance.

To steal a line from Film Brain of "Bad Movie Beatdown" - "Why? Because the plot says so....!"

[Tony Farms AKA Puma Man]

WHY did Pike quit?  Maybe the riff way too loud, but I didn't get why he just handed the keys over to some kid like Kirk.

And what did Kirk really do to be named CAPTAIN of the freaking Enterprise?  I mean, he got beat up a lot, sure, but other than that, I don't know what he did that was so much better than anyone else.

[Thrifty]

WHY did Pike quit?  Maybe the riff way too loud, but I didn't get why he just handed the keys over to some kid like Kirk.

And what did Kirk really do to be named CAPTAIN of the freaking Enterprise?  I mean, he got beat up a lot, sure, but other than that, I don't know what he did that was so much better than anyone else.

The Enterprise, with Kirk at the helm, stopped Nero and prevented him from destroying Earth the way he destroyed Vulcan.  Also, he saved Pike's life.  And I believe Pike was promoted to Admiral.

[Indomitus]

The Enterprise, with Kirk at the helm, stopped Nero and prevented him from destroying Earth the way he destroyed Vulcan.  Also, he saved Pike's life.  And I believe Pike was promoted to Admiral.

That really doesn't address Pike's impulsive decision to promote Kirk to First Officer in the first place, especially after the way Pike reacted to Kirk even being on the ship at all.
I guess we should file that under "Obsessive Fans Demand It So We Better Make It Happen Somehow"

[Thrifty]

The Enterprise, with Kirk at the helm, stopped Nero and prevented him from destroying Earth the way he destroyed Vulcan.  Also, he saved Pike's life.  And I believe Pike was promoted to Admiral.

That really doesn't address Pike's impulsive decision to promote Kirk to First Officer in the first place, especially after the way Pike reacted to Kirk even being on the ship at all.
I guess we should file that under "Obsessive Fans Demand It So We Better Make It Happen Somehow"

I'll agree that it seemed pretty shoehorned in.  I don't think it was a matter of fan demand as much as it was "an Enterprise with Captain Kirk has to happen in this movie, we need to find a way to make it happen."

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

WHY did Pike quit?  Maybe the riff way too loud, but I didn't get why he just handed the keys over to some kid like Kirk.

At the end?  Because he was in a wheelchair.  Can't be a Captain in a wheelchair, evidently.

Why did he make Kirk First Officer?  Good question.  Unless we're to believe that that ship was staffed with nothing but Cadets of equal standing to Kirk with the exception of Spock...but even then with the suspension, Pike could be accused of favoritism anyway.

Another thing I learned....when on a dangerous mission to save a planet from certain destruction, always make sure that only one person in your group has all of whatever it is you need to take care of the problem (especially if they're wearing red.) so that if they don't make it there with you, whatever you can do from then on will be for nothing anyway.

[Lemming Howard]

I learned that there are some pretty steep ass canyons in Iowa

Pyramids in Akaba and now canyons in Iowa... what's next?

Yellowstone National Park done blowed up as a super volcano like they said it would on those 21st century science documentaries.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I learned that there are some pretty steep ass canyons in Iowa

Pyramids in Akaba and now canyons in Iowa... what's next?

Yellowstone National Park done blowed up as a super volcano like they said it would on those 21st century science documentaries.

What?  No butt shots as Kirk climbs El Capitan?  Darn it!   

[Bob]

I gotta watch this movie now, then watch the riff later tomorrow.

[D.B. Barnes]

I learned that there are some pretty steep ass canyons in Iowa

Pyramids in Akaba and now canyons in Iowa... what's next?

Yellowstone National Park done blowed up as a super volcano like they said it would on those 21st century science documentaries.

What?  No butt shots as Kirk climbs El Capitan?  Darn it!   

Perhaps this will hold you over?

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

What?  No butt shots as Kirk climbs El Capitan?  Darn it!   

Perhaps this will hold you over?

Hmmm.....something about that just seems....wrong.   

[Bob]

Just finished watching the movie unriffed first.   I've watched almost all the movies, all the TNG, most TOS, some Deep Space Nine, little Voyager.

I guess I dont understand why they HAD to change things up and create alternate reality.   I think they could have told mostly the same story and kept the back history in tact.

And the whole drill weapon..... seems to me that a single F-15 could have taken it out and Vulcan should be ashamed.