Zombie-Thon: October 2009

[mrbasehart]

God, Zombie Strippers was awful.  It also feels like it's trying really hard to be a cult movie too.  Anyways...

The Boneyard

A generally underwhelming zombie movie set in a mortuary where a couple of police officers, a psychic, and the staff are terrorized by a group of ancient child zombies.  And a giant zombie poodle.

Best Scene: Easily the bit where our overweight, middle-aged leading lady (which is kinda cool, actually) blows up the giant zombie poodle by playing fetch with explosives. 

Worst Scene: The 30 minutes at the start, which has almost nothing happening in it other than getting the characters to the morgue. 

Bonus Best Scene: Phyllis Diller being killed by zombie children.

[GregMcduck]

Zombies Anonymous

The dead are rising. But not as the brainless shamblers of Romeroesque living dead scenarios. It's only the recently deceased who are returning, and they're coming back largely as they were in life — a littler uglier, but with the same personalities as they were when biologically functioning, and that's got society in turmoil. The dead haven't become something wholly apart from the living; they are instead in a nebulous state which perhaps invites easy Othering, but which doesn't as easily accept an Us/Them divide. They still reside in our neighborhoods. They still labor in our workplaces. They were us, until death abruptly made them not us.

The films follows Angela five months after being murdered by her boyfriend Josh. They both find themselves in opposing extremist groups: Josh joins a violent anti-zombie wing of the Nazi skinheads, and Angela finds herself caught up in a bizarre zombie cult who support the idea of "the living=food" (zombies can only eat raw meat, though it can come from any animal). The film was made on the cheap and the quality of acting varies, but what we end up with is a zombie movie that's smarter then it has any right to be, and I was rather enjoyed it.

Best Scene: The film tries to maintain a balancing act between being really serious and really funny. In the really serious catagory, the scene where the anti-zombie skinheads round up a group of zombies and start butchering them, and it gets unsettling on almost a Schindler's List level. In the really funny catagory, in a shootout between the skinheads and the zombie cultists, one guy tries to take cover behind a small birch tree. The guy is like 350 pounds, so it covers like 3% of his body.

Worst Scene: The final conflict, which goes on five minutes too long.

Weirdest Death: Appearntly, taking human blood directly to the brain is a drug for zombies, and as Angela finds out when she sticks a needle in the cult leader's head, overdoses cause the head to explode. Angela's response to this is ".....WHAT?"

[RobtheBarbarian]

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

The remake of that other zombie movie, the one from the '50s or something. By definition not a very innovative zombie movie. You all know how it goes.

Best scene:  The rifle-based game Kenneth plays with Andy, the best character in any horror movie ever made anywhere (fuck Ash).

Worst scene: The scene where the character Nicole puts a parkinglot full of zombies between her and the rest of the survivors to save a dog that has been shown to be of no interest to the zombies, and therefor safe. Defying all reason, they rush to save her.

Thoughts: The opening 15 minutes or so give you a brief glimpse of how the world at large is descending into the zombie apocalypse. I've always wanted to see a movie that featured that more prominently.

I plan to watch [REC] and 28 Days Later tonight as a rage zombie double feature.

[Sideswipe]

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Best scene:  The rifle-based game Kenneth plays with Andy, the best character in any horror movie ever made anywhere (fuck Ash).

Blasphemy!

[Rude]

...

I didn't know that Bruce Campbell was considered a divine being according to Optimusism. Go figure!

-Rude

[TeamRAD]

The Return Of The Living Dead

A couple guys working at a medical supply company accidentally release a zombie gas called Trioxin into the air. Soon, thanks to a zombie cremation, the poison mixes with the rain water and seeps into a nearby cemetery... reanimating most of the corpses buried there. The survivors eventually join forces with some new wave punk rockers as they battle to stay alive until help can arrive.

This is one of my favorite zombie movies of all time. It has a great sense of humor, an awesome soundtrack, and the zombies can actually run, jump, think and talk. So all of that seemed pretty new to me at the time. Plus, the punk rock chick totally gets naked for most the movie!

Best Scene: After eating the paramedics, a zombie gets on the ambulance radio and says "Send more paramedics." And they do!

Worst Scene: The weird domestic dispute between a general and his really old looking wife.

Best Song: Surfin' Dead by The Cramps!

-Rude

Best Scene:

...and Trash's performance art, of course!

Best Song: "Partytime" by 45 Grave!!

This movie is perfect.

...

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/BV16TbTd77c

Attack Girls' Swim Team Versus The Undead

An evil doctor hunts his escaped, teenage assassin to a highschool where he unleashes a zombie virus. But thanks to the chlorine in the swimming pool, the girls' swim team remains unaffected. They eventually join forces with the teenage assassin Aki in a battle for their lives.

Best Scene: Vagina laser. You'll just have to see the movie.

-Rude

Yep, I've gotta see that!

[Tripe]

OK not a movie but Dan Savage has a thematically appropriate letter this week.

The second one down in case you fancy skipping the first one.

[RobtheBarbarian]

Resident Evil: Extinction

Leeloo's adventures in a Mad Max-style world, killing mostly zombies and sometimes birds. I have to say, Umbrella Corporation's commitment to being absurdly, flamboyantly evil even when there's no one left to menace is really inspiring.

I watched this movie with my brain in "so bad it's good" mode, so "best scene" and "worst scene" will probably bleed together a little.

Best scene: The run-down shack that forms the facade over the elevator shaft to Umbrella's secret underground base opens up in a hilarious Get Smart kind of sequence.

Worst scene: The black folks really do die first (technically one is bitten by a zombie and the other dies later in a more general slaughter). Aren't we over that?

Milla Jovovich: She is really quite attractive.

[RobtheBarbarian]

Diary of the Dead

Maybe it's because I've only seen the original Night of the Living Dead other than this one, but I don't remember any of Romero's other movies being as unabashedly preachy as this one. The subject of this weeks Soapbox Theater is... society's obsession with... posting home videos on youtube? Yeah, I wasn't aware of that being a big problem. Okay, I think it's more about how the "truth" is manipulated by the mainstream media, but even that's a little thin to make a zombie movie with.

The mouthpiece character for these blunt observations is an obnoxious spoiled film student who rambles about this film's message in a voiceover that sort of reminds me of the "flag on the moon" stuff from Red Zone Cuba, when she's not acting passive-aggressive, pointlessly vindictive or entitled.

Can you tell I don't like that character? I'm going to make a movie about how much I don't like her and write a character in the movie who exists to explain why I don't like that character.

Best Scene: The random Amish fellow who kills zombies with a scythe.

Worst scene: The mouthpiece character has the balls to demand supplies from a bunch of heavily-armed urban fellows in their own home. To my outrage, she is not laughed at and shot.

The ending: Is basically this
http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/3069404/the_scary_door_3.swf

[Relaxing Dragon]

Yeah, Diary is definitely Romero's weakest film. I actually like pretty much all the characters except the main ones. They just get really annoying, really fast, and stay at staggeringly high levels of preachiness. Even the professor tries my patience, and I'm normally one who swoons at the faintest British accent.

That said, I did love the paddles-to-the-head scene (obvious as the CGI was).

[RobtheBarbarian]

[REC]

The movie from which Quarantine was re-made. A young reporter and her cameraman are filming life at a fire station after hours when a call comes in and they all roll out with the two reporters tagging along. Turns out the call came from an apartment building where an old lady started screaming and thrashing around in her apartment. Give you three guesses as to where things go from there.

While watching, I found out that some scenes were apparently re-arranged for the remake. This served no purpose but to make the characters seem dumber. For example, a scene occurs early in [REC] where a girl turns while in the arms of her mother, bites her and runs off up the stairs into the dark. A policeman, a fireman and the cameraman hunt her down and the cop tries to get her to come closer so he can give her some kind of shot, but of course ends up getting his face chewed off. In Quarantine, these scene is moved in it's entirety to later in the movie, long after all the characters learn that someone infected turns into a damn zombie.

Best scene: In the middle of an argument in the lobby of the apartment building, a scream and a crash are heard upstairs followed by the body of a fireman plummeting down the stairwell (I actually think this scene was handled better in the remake). Or, the ending where the last two survivors find out what's been going on in the attic of the building.

Worst scene: An oddly comedic part where all the wacky ethnic idiosyncrasies of the tenants are played up for laughs. Really out of place.

STFU: This is the second zombie POV movie I've seen today. What is it with women with cameras declaring themselves leader of groups of survivors? The reporter in this movie was bossing around a cop and fireman for fuck's sake.

[Rude]

...

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/c8MUbh4047E

Boy Eats Girl

This is a fun little romantic zombie comedy from Ireland. Basically a mother brings her son back to life using a "book of pagan trickery" that she found in crypt hidden beneath her church. And before her son knows what's happening to him, the infection spreads throughout most the town.

Best Scene: Seconds before Nathan gets totally zombified himself, he protects his friends by ripping the head off another zombie.

Worst Scene: Total deus ex machina in discovering the cure.

Internal Logic: If Nathan was zombified via some Voodoo ritual, then why would anyone else turn into a zombie once they're bitten?

-Rude

[Rude]

...

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/DRMoDK-XQ1w

Flight Of The Living Dead: Outbreak On A Plane

Okay, so you see a title like Flight Of The Living Dead, and you hear "direct to DVD," and maybe you think... this movie is some low-budget crap. But i think you're wrong. There's something about this movie that's pretty great. I'm not quite sure what it is, but there's something that lifts it up above the muck just enough to make it a good movie.

Anyway, you've probably got the general concept: an experiment goes wrong, and zombies are unleashed on the passengers of a commercial flight. There are generic characters like the Tiger Woods golfer, a nun and the oversexed college kids... but they make for some great zombies later in the film, and none of them are terribly horrible actors. And, even though the plot seems like a paint-by-numbers affair, there are little touches in the cinematography, the art department and set design that give the movie that extra little boost not seen in most B-movies. Good times.

Best Scene: One of the evil scientists falls to his death, but gets tangled in the wires of the plane. As he's hanging and gasping for air, the zombies attack en masse.

Worst Scene: Tiger Woods-guy takes a zombie's head clean off with his golden putter.

Deeper Meaning: The zombies tear a hole in the floor of one of the aisles. Eventually a nun fights to keep a recently deceased passenger from being dragged below by the undead.

-Rude

[mrbasehart]

I saw Mansion of the Living Dead the other day, but as it's basically soft-core porn with no zombies in it, I won't say anything other than - don't watch it! Bloody misleading titles...There isn't even a mansion!

[Rude]

...

I actually have a copy of Mansion Of The Living Dead around here somewhere. It's been awhile since i've watched it, but all i remember is a few naked women staying at a beach resort as they're murdered. Definitely some false advertising there. Although i have to admit, i wasn't completely bummed out by what i did see.

...

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/iQGqUC707e0

Day Of The Dead

Of course this is the thematic sequel to Romero's Dawn Of The Dead. This time we watch the inhabitants of an underground military / scientific base struggle with life in the age of zombies. Like every other Romero film, the survivors end up tearing themselves apart before the zombies ever have the chance... We get it, Romero. We get it.

This movie seems to move along very slowly even though there's always something happening on screen. I think it's because rather than work towards a conclusion, it prefers to work through it's situation. I've always liked Day Of The Dead, and it's an interesting film... but not the best.

Best Scene: I really like when Bub the zombie realizes that his doctor friend has been murdered. Even though it's completely obvious that it's being played to illicit some sympathy and emotion from the audience, it still works pretty well.

Worst Scene: Once the compound has been completely overrun by zombies, Captain Rhodes hops in a golf cart and speeds away into the tunnels... leaving his men behind. Escape-by-golf-cart just looks so ridiculous that it kinda' kills the scene and makes you laugh instead.

That Time Of The Month: Dr. Bowman is crossing out each day during the month of October. It's almost like she's part of Zombie-Thon: October 2009 herself. Of course when the month is over, i get to stop watching zombies movies and she'll still be stuck on a desert island somewhere.

-Rude