Here We Go...

[dalem]

Okay, I'm a couple of minutes in.

I've got some Bulleit bourbon, some pizza, and in a little while, I'll toast up a fine Partagas Black Gigante.

Are the shiny-lip chick and the shrunken head guy in any more scenes?  Or are they going up the stairs to leave the movie?

Do I have a chance, folks?  Give it to me straight.

-dale

[dalem]

Oh you have got to be f*cking kidding me.

-dale

[dalem]

I hate all of you so very, very much.

-dale

[dalem]

"It's hot in here"

WTF?

I suspect I may need more bourbon.

-dale

[dalem]

The hell?  This chick's nethers must have a rift into an alternate dimension.  Where the hell's she putting all that semen?

Oh dear lord.

-weeps-

[torgosPizza]

When you make it back, we'll be here for you.

[dalem]

The Room or The Roof?

Who's Elizabeth?

What about the drugs? Haaarh?

What have you done to me?!?!?!?

[dalem]

So, the trashcans attacked him, and that's why the steakhead fell.

Right?

Right?

Mother?

[dalem]

Oh HIII, middle of movie.

Football?  FOOTBALL?!?!?!?!?

Oh, and now Little MIss Dark Brows must have squeegeed out because she's tooling for another fill-up.  Great.  Just GREAT!

[dalem]

Does a giant shark eat the Golden Gate Bridge?

Does a giant shark eat the Golden Gate Bridge?

Please?

[dalem]

Oh, okay, a fake pregnancy.  Did this Weeso guy get all of his misogyny out in this one cathartic wet shot or is there somehow more waiting for me in his steroid-withered marbles?

[dalem]

I'm.. alright now.  I'm actually... happy... that I took a deep whiff of this cinematic turdpile...  I grok it all now....

I'm ready....

I'm ready........

Take me...........................

[Bob]

Oh no, you are not DONE until you see the special features and Tommy's interview.

[dalem]

No, no , no.  I went through all the Stages - fear, anger, denial, and acceptance.  And a little backfat and some cro-magnon brow ridges thrown in.  There's nothing in the Stages about extras.

-dale

[Lovye]

I'm.. alright now.  I'm actually... happy... that I took a deep whiff of this cinematic turdpile...  I grok it all now....

I'm ready....

I'm ready........

Take me...........................

It seems to me you've already been taken....