Say something mean about the next poster.

[Invader_quirk]

At 3 card monty, which was confusing to everybody.

The next poster's never pushed a Push Pop.

[Johnny Unusual]

Yes, OK, I've never masturbated, can we just move on.

The next poster is old and bald.

[Invader_quirk]

Yes, but at heart I'm middle-aged and desperate enough to get plugs.

The next poster uses the T1 line to look up Sailor Moon crap.

[Darth Geek]

Yeah, but then the T1 became sentient and went on a rampage.

The next poster goes to Comic Con cosplaying as Sailer Moon.

[Starman!]

It still looks better than my Tron outfit. And my Borat speedo.

The next poster still doesn't drive.

[Action Batch]

Look man, I CAN'T drive fifty five. It's not that I'm unwilling, I'm physically unable.

The next poster posts postings on post-it notes.

[WeatherServo9]

If Shakespeare had had post-it notes he would have used them too.

The next poster is afraid of mildly scary cartoons.

[Johnny Unusual]

Mildly?  Come on, this is pure nightmare fuel

The next poster is often nude.

[Darth Geek]

And sticky.

The next poster makes obscene gestures at people behind their backs.

[Scribblesense]

If they turn around, I punch them in the face.

The next poster lights strangers's armpit hair on fire.

[Johnny Unusual]

Finally, someone who acknowledges my work.

The next poster is located in the uncanny valley.

[AmazingThor]

I cheated on my Turing test 

The next poster believes every article printed by the Onion

[Johnny Unusual]

...to be hilarious.  And factually accurate.

The next poster asks too many questions.

[Starman!]

Whaddya mean I ask too many questions? I'm not Dave Mustaine!

The next poster never does the Time Warp.

[Doctor Who?]

Why should I,I have a time machine.

The next poster has BO so bad people on the space station are complaining about it