RiffTrax Live Online - Thursday, 1/15 - FREE live riffing of a new short!!!!

[bettertomorrowamy]

there's a huge picture for the live show on the front page.

My web browsers must be formatting the page all screwy, because I just now finally saw it off to the side. 

You may now proceed to beat me with a sack of doorknobs for my lack of observancy.

I have a sack of cats.  Can I use that?

No.  Cats may only be used for punishment if fired from a catzooka.

Can a person build a catzooka for under 50 dollars?

[Thrifty]

there's a huge picture for the live show on the front page.

My web browsers must be formatting the page all screwy, because I just now finally saw it off to the side. 

You may now proceed to beat me with a sack of doorknobs for my lack of observancy.

I have a sack of cats.  Can I use that?

No.  Cats may only be used for punishment if fired from a catzooka.

Can a person build a catzooka for under 50 dollars?

Probably, but you'd have to skimp on the ammunition and use feral cats, and the hairball matrix wouldn't likely last for more than 30 felines, 40 tops.

[bettertomorrowamy]

there's a huge picture for the live show on the front page.

My web browsers must be formatting the page all screwy, because I just now finally saw it off to the side. 

You may now proceed to beat me with a sack of doorknobs for my lack of observancy.

I have a sack of cats.  Can I use that?

No.  Cats may only be used for punishment if fired from a catzooka.

Can a person build a catzooka for under 50 dollars?

Probably, but you'd have to skimp on the ammunition and use feral cats, and the hairball matrix wouldn't likely last for more than 30 felines, 40 tops.

I can live with that.  How long until the hairball matrix finally gives out completely if used regularly?

[Thrifty]

there's a huge picture for the live show on the front page.

My web browsers must be formatting the page all screwy, because I just now finally saw it off to the side. 

You may now proceed to beat me with a sack of doorknobs for my lack of observancy.

I have a sack of cats.  Can I use that?

No.  Cats may only be used for punishment if fired from a catzooka.

Can a person build a catzooka for under 50 dollars?

Probably, but you'd have to skimp on the ammunition and use feral cats, and the hairball matrix wouldn't likely last for more than 30 felines, 40 tops.

I can live with that.  How long until the hairball matrix finally gives out completely if used regularly?

I went over this.  30-40 felines.  It also depends largely on how often you fire it.  Now, I always load my catzooka up with a full complement of 5 cats; I was basing my assumption on that.  If you were to go out with half a load (I know some guys who don't like to do more than 2 at a time because of the added weight), you could probably only squeeze out 15 cats.  Also, and this goes without saying, try to avoid any of the fluffier breeds.  And for God's sake, don't be the smartass who tries to get more power out of a shot by stuffing a chiuahaua in the 4th chamber.  It'll work, but do you REALLY want to wear out the catzooka that quickly?

[bettertomorrowamy]

there's a huge picture for the live show on the front page.

My web browsers must be formatting the page all screwy, because I just now finally saw it off to the side. 

You may now proceed to beat me with a sack of doorknobs for my lack of observancy.

I have a sack of cats.  Can I use that?

No.  Cats may only be used for punishment if fired from a catzooka.

Can a person build a catzooka for under 50 dollars?

Probably, but you'd have to skimp on the ammunition and use feral cats, and the hairball matrix wouldn't likely last for more than 30 felines, 40 tops.

I can live with that.  How long until the hairball matrix finally gives out completely if used regularly?

I went over this.  30-40 felines.  It also depends largely on how often you fire it.  Now, I always load my catzooka up with a full complement of 5 cats; I was basing my assumption on that.  If you were to go out with half a load (I know some guys who don't like to do more than 2 at a time because of the added weight), you could probably only squeeze out 15 cats.  Also, and this goes without saying, try to avoid any of the fluffier breeds.  And for God's sake, don't be the smartass who tries to get more power out of a shot by stuffing a chiuahaua in the 4th chamber.  It'll work, but do you REALLY want to wear out the catzooka that quickly?

All good points.  I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Thrifty]

there's a huge picture for the live show on the front page.

My web browsers must be formatting the page all screwy, because I just now finally saw it off to the side. 

You may now proceed to beat me with a sack of doorknobs for my lack of observancy.

I have a sack of cats.  Can I use that?

No.  Cats may only be used for punishment if fired from a catzooka.

Can a person build a catzooka for under 50 dollars?

Probably, but you'd have to skimp on the ammunition and use feral cats, and the hairball matrix wouldn't likely last for more than 30 felines, 40 tops.

I can live with that.  How long until the hairball matrix finally gives out completely if used regularly?

I went over this.  30-40 felines.  It also depends largely on how often you fire it.  Now, I always load my catzooka up with a full complement of 5 cats; I was basing my assumption on that.  If you were to go out with half a load (I know some guys who don't like to do more than 2 at a time because of the added weight), you could probably only squeeze out 15 cats.  Also, and this goes without saying, try to avoid any of the fluffier breeds.  And for God's sake, don't be the smartass who tries to get more power out of a shot by stuffing a chiuahaua in the 4th chamber.  It'll work, but do you REALLY want to wear out the catzooka that quickly?

All good points.  I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

All this talk of cats made me want to change around my profle picture.