Why Storm Troopers can't shoot straight

[bettertomorrowamy]

These stormtroopers are probably all private contractors.

[kodiakthejuggler]

As the only person in this thread so far that can actually claim to have worn a suit of armor (Neeeeerd!) , I can say without a shred of doubt that a Stormtrooper helmet is the absolute last thing i would ever wear when going into a combat situation. You might as well drink half a bottle of Soco before heading out into the battlefield, you'd be so useless.

Well...

according to the Official Star Wars Visual Dictionary, "Enhanced optical equipment creates holographic images of the surrounding terrain, shielding the eye from excessive brightness and offering vision through many barriers such as smoke, darkness, and fire. Optical equipment in trooper helmets can range from simple eye lenses to elaborate vision processors."

So there.

[Tripe]

The reason is that every time a hapless rebel kills a stormtrooper, they have to throw some random Imperial into a suit to make everyone think they still have vast armies ready to crush the rebellion, since it "takes time to create more (clones)," but then they forget who's a clone and who's not and never get around to ordering more real soldiers. By the time you get around to Episode IV, there's tons of filing clerks, pilots, mouse droid repairmen and janitors walking around in stormtrooper costumes afraid to question their orders for fear of being choked to death by Lord Vader. This will all be explained in the first episode of Star Wars: The Series.

So they're all basically Bob from Account Temps?

[RoninFox]

Look, it's really simple. It's pure genetics. The FIRST storm troopers were all clones of a single person. So they had the same abilities as their clone source (Jango Fett). But now, all the storm troopers we have are the result of inbreeding between all of those clones and the women who thought storm troopers were cool. The imperial gene pool was ruined by lack of diversity, hence all current storm troopers suck ass. QED.

Still doesn't explain Boba's uselessness, unless the act of picking his own dead father's head drove him into an alcoholic depression that killed all his abilities.

Where's all this shit about boba fett being useless come from? He's the only one who caught on to solo's garbage dump trick...

He pulled off one bit of decent tracking in the movies.  Once the battle on the barges started though he missed a lot and fell into a hungry alien mouth.

[Tripe]

You forgot to add, "and screamed like a girl"

[Doctor Who?]

That one still sounds pretty stupid but at least it isn't lazy.

Someone should buy Lucass a high school science book.

[Tripe]

As if he'd have had time to read it, his mind was pretty occupied back then:

[Doctor Who?]

George Lucass in love is one of the best short films ever made.

[Tripe]

Plus, I wish Carrie had been as cute as Marion.

[Destin]

As the only person in this thread so far that can actually claim to have worn a suit of armor (Neeeeerd!) , I can say without a shred of doubt that a Stormtrooper helmet is the absolute last thing i would ever wear when going into a combat situation. You might as well drink half a bottle of Soco before heading out into the battlefield, you'd be so useless.

Also, another theory about stormtrooper armor that is a pet theory, yet compelling as hell: The belts are holding battery packs designed to shock the trooper to death if he's injured. Better to kill the wounded trooper than to have other troopers trying to drag him off the battlefield, thereby removing 3 troopers from the battle instead of the more efficient 1.

TK-319, signing out.

Stormtrooper 1: Hey Guys I think I hurt my foot!
Stormtrooper 2: Get away from him!
Stormtrooper 1:No really, I think im going to be alright I only hurt my pinky toe and *ZAP*

[Tigertrout]

Look, it's really simple. It's pure genetics. The FIRST storm troopers were all clones of a single person. So they had the same abilities as their clone source (Jango Fett). But now, all the storm troopers we have are the result of inbreeding between all of those clones and the women who thought storm troopers were cool. The imperial gene pool was ruined by lack of diversity, hence all current storm troopers suck ass. QED.

Still doesn't explain Boba's uselessness, unless the act of picking his own dead father's head drove him into an alcoholic depression that killed all his abilities.

Where's all this shit about boba fett being useless come from? He's the only one who caught on to solo's garbage dump trick...

...but then, Boba's a first generation clone and he was pretty much worthless in battle too.

It's not about him being useless, it's about him being "worthless in battle".

[RoninFox]

Look, it's really simple. It's pure genetics. The FIRST storm troopers were all clones of a single person. So they had the same abilities as their clone source (Jango Fett). But now, all the storm troopers we have are the result of inbreeding between all of those clones and the women who thought storm troopers were cool. The imperial gene pool was ruined by lack of diversity, hence all current storm troopers suck ass. QED.

Still doesn't explain Boba's uselessness, unless the act of picking his own dead father's head drove him into an alcoholic depression that killed all his abilities.

Where's all this shit about boba fett being useless come from? He's the only one who caught on to solo's garbage dump trick...

...but then, Boba's a first generation clone and he was pretty much worthless in battle too.

It's not about him being useless, it's about him being "worthless in battle".

Thank you, that is pretty much the point I was trying to make.  I mean if you want to judge clones by their ability to stand around and look menacingly at the camera while exuding the attitude of "I really am badass, make me a cult icon" then Boba is worlds ahead of the curve.

[Cosmic Muse]

Look, it's really simple. It's pure genetics. The FIRST storm troopers were all clones of a single person. So they had the same abilities as their clone source (Jango Fett). But now, all the storm troopers we have are the result of inbreeding between all of those clones and the women who thought storm troopers were cool. The imperial gene pool was ruined by lack of diversity, hence all current storm troopers suck ass. QED.

Still doesn't explain Boba's uselessness, unless the act of picking his own dead father's head drove him into an alcoholic depression that killed all his abilities.

Where's all this shit about boba fett being useless come from? He's the only one who caught on to solo's garbage dump trick...

...but then, Boba's a first generation clone and he was pretty much worthless in battle too.

It's not about him being useless, it's about him being "worthless in battle".

Thank you, that is pretty much the point I was trying to make.  I mean if you want to judge clones by their ability to stand around and look menacingly at the camera while exuding the attitude of "I really am badass, make me a cult icon" then Boba is worlds ahead of the curve.

The blame should be put squarely on Lucas' shoulders. He created a truly badass looking character yet he was too wrapped up with the Goody Goody characters to spend any time with this more interesting character. Plus Jeremy Bullock, with his few lines, really sold Boba Fett as an Outlaw that oozed with coolness. Screw George for overdubbing Boba's voice in his mangled versions of the movies.

[Crow T. Robot 666]

It didn't help that Lucas had him taken by accident by a blind man.  Why let him go out hard when you can get a cheap laugh instead?  Sure no one laughed but this was the most obvious signs the prequels would fail.  His love of slapstick comedy during a dramatic firefight.

[bettertomorrowamy]

Somebody should lock this thread cuz the joke is now turning into some kind of serious debate and/or prequels bashing which is tired.