Undefeatable

[BBQ Platypus]

I watched both of those movies and it hurt... it hurt real bad.

Yeah, Godfrey Ho has a very MST3K-ish vibe to him.  Although every scene from every Godfrey Ho movie I've ever seen sucks in virtually every possible way,

The eulogy scene near the beginning of Ninja Terminator (where Machiko's brother is lamenting the death of what's-his-name), reached almost Manos-like levels of ineptitude.  I mean, seriously, the guy giving the eulogy talks like he just suffered a stroke, and the speech itself would make Ed Wood cringe.  Best of all, the camera, rather than focusing on the actual characters on the screen, cuts to a shot of a random nearby row of hedges!  I thought there was going to be an enemy ninja hiding behind them, but no - absolutely nothing happens.  No action; just a whole lot of hedge.

Also: a man wearing a Carol Channing wig.  That is all.

[jewishcarpenter]

The "mommy scene" with the locket in Undefeatable did me in... well more than the rest of the movie. I "laughed till I cried" in the opening of Ninja Terminator when they focused in on the Japanese lantern with the ninja silk-screened on it (I'm pretty sure it said NINJA underneath the picture of the ninja as well) then the Supreme Ninja walks in just starts laughing like an idiot some reason that only Godfrey Ho knows about. Although I'm sure every ninja has a ninja silk-screened on their Japanese lantern. The opening credits looked like they cleared out a couple of coin &  baseball card shops of all their ninja weapons. They need to distribute both of these movies on DVD to every video rental and sales place so we can get some Rifftrax for these. It would hurt so good.

[BBQ Platypus]

Yes - immediately.  Until then, I call dibs on Ninja Terminator for DIY purposes.  I say this because I've seen it thrice, and loved it thrice.  I'm kinda busy right now, but I'll probably have time to throw a cut together this weekend.  As for Undefeatable...well, the fight scene has been circulated pretty widely (it even occupied the top spot in Cracked.com's "7 Worst Movie Fight Scenes"), and as such can be considered "public domain" (figuratively speaking).

Have you ever sat down and seriously pondered what the hell happened to the bad guy who exploded at the end of Ninja Terminator (as shitty on-hold music played in the background)?  I have (and I'm not ashamed to admit it).  I mean, did he have an extra "ninja bomb" crammed up his anus or something?  Did he use his ninja powers to launch himself into space?  Or did he just get so mad that he spontaneously exploded?  What are your thoughts, JC?

[BBQ Platypus]

I just finished a cut of a scene from Ninja Terminator.  I'll probably end up polishing it just a tad if there's another contest, but for now, I'm posting it as is (it already took me several hours, and I'm way, way too lazy).

[cut=403,395]http://www.cuts.com/cut/6ad82f394e/[/cut]

If the cut doesn't work, here's the link:

http://www.cuts.com/cut/6ad82f394e/

[Sideswipe]

seriously, what kind of badass ninja warrior owns a Garfield telephone?

[BBQ Platypus]

seriously, what kind of badass ninja warrior owns a Garfield telephone?

Only the best and most 1337est kind is ever deemed worthy of the privilege.  It's one of the many perks of working for the "Ninjer Empire."