What have we learned from blonde Dean Cain in not-Seattle?

[Pastor of Muppets]

I learned that photo shoots of tennis pros take a really really really long time.
I learned that the director really fell in love with that one tunnel.
I learned that, if a teenager is murdered and you have an eyewitness, you should not go to the police because it is dishonorable.
I learned that ice in drinks ruins smiles.
I learned that an area can be a pleasant outdoor flea market by day, crime ridden war zone by night.

[fodder650]

I learned that Pastor of Muppets list just helped me make the final decision to go and buy the VOD. I liked the original but now I'm good to go see it.

[fodder650]

"What if a roofie got its wish to be a real boy"
The answer to the question "What would happen if you made a martial arts film without martial arts?"
The Police don't know the difference between fish blood and human blood. This makes me really worried about taking fish oil.
This movie runs slow and plods along but it does have a really efficient emergency room.

[John Bradley]

I learned that you can cast 'John Kreese' in your movie and he never kicks or punches anybody.
I learned that 'the kid' seemed familiar from something and has 50+ acting credits from 2000-2019, but nope. Nothing I've ever seen or heard of.
I learned that it's important to pour fish blood over human blood in a shack that you're intending to burn down anyway.
I learned that obviously evil on-the-take cops sometimes aren't.
I learned that a church/orphanage in the crime-ridden war district can have a surprisingly nicely furnished and decorated interior.
I learned that you book your tennis star photo shoots in dismal rains-all-the-time Seattle.
I learned that 'Seattle' has a 'resort'.
I learned that a tennis star will befriend and take an absurdly personal interest in a street urchin she'd never met until he stole her sunglasses. (Though possibly there were earlier scenes that got cut?)
I learned that Guam's Tourism Board makes a far better movie than whomever was responsible for this turd.