Now Available = San Franpsycho

[MrTorso]

San Franpsycho

Feature film · 2021

A menace stalks the streets of San Francisco, with its shirt untucked and tie loosened like someone who’s just been ejected from a dog track. It has a flip phone. Its name is Joe Estevez.

With Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

See it on RiffTrax

A menace stalks the streets of San Francisco.

Shirt untucked and tie loosened like someone who's just been ejected from a dog track, it lures you in with its resemblance to a more famous actor, only to disappoint when it hits you up for spare change when you ask "Hey, weren't you in Apocalypse Now?" Its house decorated with bottles of vermouth, its office with various jugs of bleach because, why not — you gotta put that abundant police department bleach somewhere. Neighbors close their windows when it passes, lest its powerful schlub energy causes them to somehow become thrice-divorced, even if they weren't even married in the first place. It has a flip phone. Its name is Joe Estevez.

Oh, there's also a murderer murdering people, and the police don't have a single clue. What they do have is a team of civilians they're needlessly endangering: a priest who deeply understands the psychology of serial killers for reasons we're not allowed to question, a frazzled local news anchor who seems to be constantly on the verge of saying "such as seals," and her boyfriend, Barry, who looks more like a Barry than anyone has ever looked like a Barry.

San Francisco has never appeared blurrier and lower-rez than in San Franpsycho! Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill to kick off The Summer of Estevez!



Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason

Contributing writers: Zach Shatzer and Jason Miller

San Franpsycho

Feature film · 2021

A menace stalks the streets of San Francisco, with its shirt untucked and tie loosened like someone who’s just been ejected from a dog track. It has a flip phone. Its name is Joe Estevez.

With Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett

See it on RiffTrax

[dbsommer]

Well, that was if they rolled every Joe Estevez appearance into one movie, then decided to shoot another 45 minutes of him. The movie itself felt like someone read a crime novel, thought they could make a movie like that, but they really couldn't and this is the result. Joe is by far the best... acting talent in this. (Sorry Todd Bridges). I was kind of surprised in the opening with Joe in his mess of an apartment there was no call back to ROTOR and carrots. The killer is inept, but the cops moreso and the ending with Joe's conclusion would make LT Frank Drebbin seem like a genius. Then again Joe and company never came close to finding a clue or drawing close to the killer. Seriously, I don't think I've seen something like this where the cops never uncover a thing that has to do with our SanfranPsycho.

Riffs are solid. Turd of a movie, but more like poorly executed and horribly acted. Nothing like a Polonia brothers movie or a goofy concept like Rollergator. There was nothing in the movie itself that made it remotely watchable on its own. So it's all about the riffs.

[Pastor of Muppets]

Then again Joe and company never came close to finding a clue or drawing close to the killer. Seriously, I don't think I've seen something like this where the cops never uncover a thing that has to do with our SanfranPsycho.

I think my favorite riff was this:

Rita: They're very close to catching this guy.
Mike: I mean, we've almost found a clue!

I love how their big genius plan was going on TV to provoke the killer, but having no follow up.  It's like they wanted to use Rita and Father Gomes as bait, but forgot that in order to do that, you also have to set a trap.

[dbsommer]

I think my favorite riff was this:

Rita: They're very close to catching this guy.
Mike: I mean, we've almost found a clue!

I love how their big genius plan was going on TV to provoke the killer, but having no follow up.  It's like they wanted to use Rita and Father Gomes as bait, but forgot that in order to do that, you also have to set a trap.

That is a brilliant way of saying it. I had forgotten the guys mention no clues have been found. Also, and I never thought I would say this, but having the killer as a laser eye beam firing alien and whispering 'The daaaaark' periodically would have made this detective/killer mystery better.

[Pastor of Muppets]

Well, that was if they rolled every Joe Estevez appearance into one movie, then decided to shoot another 45 minutes of him. The movie itself felt like someone read a crime novel, thought they could make a movie like that, but they really couldn't and this is the result. Joe is by far the best... acting talent in this.

It feels really weird when Joe Estevez is the biggest name in your movie.  But I'm going to say that Rollergator was more jarring.  When I watched Rollergator, I kept thinking "How did they get Joe Estevez for this?  He's way too big of a name." 

[Pastor of Muppets]

I think my favorite riff was this:

Rita: They're very close to catching this guy.
Mike: I mean, we've almost found a clue!

I love how their big genius plan was going on TV to provoke the killer, but having no follow up.  It's like they wanted to use Rita and Father Gomes as bait, but forgot that in order to do that, you also have to set a trap.

That is a brilliant way of saying it. I had forgotten the guys mention no clues have been found. Also, and I never thought I would say this, but having the killer as a laser eye beam firing alien and whispering 'The daaaaark' periodically would have made this detective/killer mystery better.

I couldn't stop thinking about how terrible their plan was, so I ordered an unriffed copy off Amazon.  Maybe there was something the guys cut out that will make the plan make more sense.

[Pastor of Muppets]

I watched the uncut, unriffed version, and it's even stupider.  No, the cops did not have some secret plan.  No they didn't find any clues.  By the time they get the idea of going on TV and provoking the killer, they've gotten to this point where they're like "we can't find any clues, so let's just do this and hope it works".

The movie makes even less sense.  They keep having these scenes where someone is like 'OMG the killer is in the house', and it's like the guy just teleported in.  Nobody ever sees him or hears him.

It's like, I still don't get what they were thinking with that press conference.  I imagine a whiteboard at the police station that says this:

1. Taunt killer on TV.
2. ??
3. Arrest killer.

It's like the writers thought "In murder mysteries, the killer plays cat and mouse with the police and eventually the police, through skilled and clever investigative work, catch the killer.  Let's do that.".  But they couldn't figure out how to write a mystery, so they just threw in some tropes from police procedurals and gave up.  Like "Okay, we had the cops talk about fingerprints and DNA testing.  We did the thing with the police car stationed out front.  The lead detective is sufficiently cranky.  Now what?"  And then they just kind of gave up.

On second viewing, I noticed a long scene where the killer stalks and murders a stripper on her way home from work.  He follows her through the BART train station, and follows her home.  Here's what I'm wondering.  Don't public transit systems have cameras all over the place?  Wouldn't her co-workers know her likely route home?  Or maybe the cops would notice that she didn't have a car and deduce that she took transit?  Then figure out the when she left work, and start looking at security footage?  How are the cops this staggeringly incompetent?

I dunno.  I'm just depressed not only by how bleak this movie is, but also by how stupid it is.  And boring.