What Jurassic Things did You Learn from this World?

[RVR II]

I learnt that Velociraptors can be pets naow

[Trekker4747]

I learned that your high-tech theme park/zoo with tracking devices in the animals the shocks them if they reach the edge of their paddock, or get too close to the "hamster balls" need not be extended towards the animals held captive in the aviary should they ever manage to get out of it.

I learned that fuel that's been sitting inside the tank, fuel lines and engine of gasoline Jeep for 25-30 years is still viable and not a useless, gummy, varnish.

I learned that instead of calling the command center from a land-line phone-system isn't an option and, instead, you need to rush out of the room and start driving across the park while getting on your cell-phone.

I learned that supposed "experts" at a park thats been operational for a number of years easily, and quickly, believe that a giant, carnivorous, dinosaur can climb out of and escape a paddock that's been heavily monitored and is still under construction without anyone noticing, hearing, or being eaten.

I learned that certain characters you have no reason to dislike or want to see harmed (like the assistant looking over the boys, the park runner who seemed to genuinely want Hammond's vision to be the reality Hammond envisioned) can have undeserved comeuppance via horrific deaths.  (Seriously, so the assistant was sort of dumb and inattentive but she's watching over teenage boys not grade-schoolers. How much *did* she need to do? Did she really "earn" such a horrific death?  And the park-leader guy seemed like a genuine good guy who wanted the park to succeed regardless of profit margins and had concern for the enjoyment of the guests and the animals. Did we need the hubris of his death because he thought he could fly the helicopter (because I guess there was only one helicopter pilot on the island.)

That the fully realized Jurassic World is pretty wickedly cool and felt realistic with the product-placement promenade.

That seriously, a fight between a T-Rex, raptors, and a Fuckoffasaurus is pretty damn cool and caped off with a mosasaurus. Seriously, tell me you didn't get goosebumps when you first saw this movie and Claire opened the door to the T-Rex paddock, summoning it with the flare, and it was the *original* T-Rex from the first movie! And it smashes through a spinosaurs skeleton on its way out (the spinosaurus soundly defeating a T-Rex in the 3rd movie.)  The mother-fuckin' T-Rex!

And, comeon, Starlord and his motorcycle hunt with the raptors? Also pretty damn sweet.

Seriously, you got to love Chris Pratt.

Oh, I also learned that you can apparently do quite a bit without much effort or suffering while wearing heels.

[Phileaux]

I learned that certain characters you have no reason to dislike or want to see harmed (like the assistant looking over the boys, the park runner who seemed to genuinely want Hammond's vision to be the reality Hammond envisioned) can have undeserved comeuppance via horrific deaths.  (Seriously, so the assistant was sort of dumb and inattentive but she's watching over teenage boys not grade-schoolers. How much *did* she need to do? Did she really "earn" such a horrific death?  And the park-leader guy seemed like a genuine good guy who wanted the park to succeed regardless of profit margins and had concern for the enjoyment of the guests and the animals. Did we need the hubris of his death because he thought he could fly the helicopter (because I guess there was only one helicopter pilot on the island.)

Seriously, what was up with that? I'd love to learn the discussion that went on around it. I'm guessing they wanted the Rube Goldberg death and just didn't have anyone more appropriate to do it to.

Easily one of the most horrific deaths in movie history.

[Lemming Howard]

Best re-authoring I ever did. 

[Pastor of Muppets]

I don't think you were supposed to dislike the assistant.  You were just supposed to recognize her.  As the riff pointed out, they were also confused on how the audience was supposed to interpret the death.

[Pastor of Muppets]

I learned that dinosaurs are basically just like Lego sets.  You can build entirely new species just by cobbling together DNA from multiple species.

[dbsommer]

The new big dinosaur should have been more properly named a Contrivasaurus. Since it was a giant one.

That black ops teams that can casually shoot a flying pteradon from a flying helicopter cannot shoot a gigantic land based dinosaur in the head from a stable platform. Or have enough sense to go for more defensible terrain while covering each other since their raptors were turned against them and their battle plan is now gone.

That there is no character D'Onofrio can portray that can convince me anyone would listen to him. And he keeps getting hired for those types of roles.

That dinosaurs have the innate ability to know when a tracking device is implanted under their skin, and know what it is for so it can remove it and set a trap. Making it 20X more intelligent than everyone in the cast.

That you should give your island's wrangler team weapons that can actually stop the 30 foot killing machine that just outsmarted you and killed multiple members of your staff. Even if it hadn't ambushed them, nothing they had slowed it down.

That none of the execs ever read what happened to the park before when the exact same thing started happening again and they made the same mistakes.

That when running from a helicopter's machine gun, the Contrivasaurus will avoid running into trees, but run into a gigantic solid structure whose walls it has no idea it can run through. Which by sheer coincidence have something that can down a chopper.

That there is someone in the military who thinks a variant of 'strapping a bomb to a dolphin and teaching them to blow up ships' is still a great idea. Yes, taking years to grow a weapon that is incapable of being used for complicated strategy, that can be easily damaged and rendered useless, is much better than mass produced, easily replaceable, more potent and versitile weaponry. "Who needs increasingly sophisticated drones when I got me a dinosaur?"

That throwing in useless scenes referring back to the original movie to give your kids 'something to do' is as gratuitous as it sounds.

That I can dislike a movie, that I originally liked, on a second viewing. Usually it's the other way around. I disliked Event Horizon and Avengers 2 on first viewings, then liked them more the second time around. Iron Man 2 is still rancid no matter how many times I watch it.

That unless every member of the cast dies in the sequel, I will not watch it. Okay, Pratt can survive, but no one else.