The Only Thing More Embarassing...

[Pak-Man]

OK. So the initial rental of Crossroads went without a hitch. I found it and didn't have to ask for help, and the clerk forked over the movie without paying attention to the title. I get home, I'm ready for Rifftrax hilarity, (And so far so good) but 15 minutes into it, the DVD locks up. I look at the back of the DVD and it's more scratched up than an unloved AOL CD.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the only thing more embarassing than renting Crossroads!
I have to go back to the store and say, "This Crossroads doesn't work and I went to see the rest, so I need another one."

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

ha big rules. 

[PlayMSTie]

Poor pakman! What is it with "Crossroads" DVDs anyway? Mine started to freeze up and I thought I was going to have a similar situation on my hands, but finally it straightened itself out. Not done with the movie/Rifftrax yet, though, so I hope I didn't just jinx it . . .

[David]

My theory: The only kind of people who would want to buy/rent this DVD for the movie itself are the same kind of people who know not a whit about DVD care.

Buying new could be the only recourse...

[Natureboy]

All used Crossroads DVDs are in bad shape for one simple reason:  Only pre-adolescents were interested in seeing the movie in the first place.  Most of these pre-teens probably didn't bother to return the DVD back to its rental case after removing it from their Spongebob Squarepants DVD player and instead let it get all scratched up by all of the LEGO pieces lying on their bedroom floor. .

[Pak-Man]

So I take it back  to the rental, and they don't have another copy, so the guy starts running it through a disc repair machine.
Then he tried to make conversation...
He ranted about how they made Brittany pay for her own movie, but they give movie parts to Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez all the time.
He assured me that the only reason he ever watched the movie was because Dan Ackroyd was in it.
I left the video store doubting my own sense of reality and that there is any true reality at all.

And it STILL didn't work. So I went to Blockbuster Video. Thank God for faceless corporate attitudes. No questions asked, DVD in great shape, but them I had to watch THE MOVIE!

Thank goodness X-Men is up next, is all I have to say. :^)

[AvestheFox]

hehe.. hillarity insues!

ya know, you could repair the CD yourself.. some places have repair kits pretty darn cheap

[Tyrant]

   Hi. Pak's wife here.

  Everything he posted is absolutely true. I don't understand why this didn't happen with any other movie though. It would have to be this one. There was some embarrasment with Cocktail (Ie: I had to ask for it since it looks better when a woman asks for a Tom Cruise flick. Pak didn't dare until he was forced to get it on his own), and a little for Roadhouse, but this one was going too far.

   I begged Pak on numerous occasions during Crossroads to end my suffering. Only Mike Nelson's sweet, amusing voice allowed me to hold on to my sanity. I suspect we had a hard time getting a watchable copy not because of tweens who don't know how to take care of rental dvds, but because of the innate rage and hatred people felt after the movie and then the intense desire to destroy the dvd but not make it look too obvious.

[sarcasm_made_Easy]

WOW its like an epic story just listening to people watch someone make comments about watching a move

[mandalay_leigh]

Really? So....okay.  That happened to you.  Great...hm...

Yeah, that's it.  I can't rent this movie.  I'm sorry Mike, but there are some things I cannot even do for you.  Crossroads isn't available at Movielink.com, and I don't use Netflix. (I don't rent enough movies to justify having money taken out of my account every month).  This is far too much to ask of a shy, easily embarrassed, self-conscious person.  I was able to rent Fifth Element with minimal embarrassment since it's a movie alot of people (with assumably odd tastes and high annoyance-tolerance levels) like.  I think I'm going to resort to buying a used copy for mega-cheap on Amazon.  I hate to be endorsing something with a wonderful message such as "All good girls want to be strippers/whores deep down inside and aren't fun until they release their inner slut." However, my desire to see Britney Spears and all she represents ridiculed is too high.  Mike, do you see what you're putting us through?!

[RandyMistie]

I just couldn't do it.  I can't justify putting any of my money into that brain dead bint's pocket.  She who will not be named and contributes to the stupification of America, is so loathsome to me that I can't bring myself to rent or buy the movie.

I may buy the 'traxx, tho, just to support Mike and Legend.  Sigh...

[AvestheFox]

Randy, whay not just borrow from another? Say like, if you see the film in someone's collection or something...

Ah, that's what we should do.. make a buddy system for those who cant bring themselves to buy the crap movies that Mike Riffs

[Tyrant]

  That would work, except that someone in our riffing community would have to initially buy and own the movie to begin with.


  And who here is brave enough to BUY Crossroads?


   And no, Pak. It's not us. Don't even think it. 

[SmilinJackRoss]

I don't use Netflix. (I don't rent enough movies to justify having money taken out of my account every month). 

Netflix lets you try their service for free for two weeks.  Sign up, select Crossroads, watch the rifftrax, send back the movie, and cancel the service.  Easy!

[starfighter]

  Lots of nearly anonymous ways to get hold of lame movies on eBay or its sister site, half.com.  I bought DVDs of XXX and Crossroads for less than $5.00, including the postage.  I got 3 Cruise movies on VHS for less than 5 bucks when Cocktail was needed, so I already have my copy of Top Gun and I'll be patiently waiting for Days of Thunder.
   Otherwise, you renters could wear a mask.  It's not like you're renting porn.