Zombie-Thon: October 2009

[gojikranz]

oo sounds like fun.  i will second some recomendations i heard for zombi 2 and versus both pretty awesome.  if you want to go on the other side of the spectrum try out zombi 3 or even worse zombi 4 or even even even way way if it is even possible worse zombi 5 killing birds.

[gbeenie]

First she's making out, then she's getting felt up, then her eyes start to bleed, and then... she vomits up her own intestines.

Ah... senior prom...sigh...

[electronsexparty]

Worst Scene: There's this talking zombie head that somehow finds it's way across town despite having no body, and she speaks with the lamest accent. I don't know how to describe it though... kinda' like a trashy female truck driver or something. Anyway it looks horrible, and they made no attempt to sync it with the mouth at all.

Is this the one with the guy who keeps saying "Ese"? I recall a body-less head in that one. Or, maybe he was the body-less head? Ah, I've seen too many zombie movies to keep 'em straight.

[Steve-O]

Dear lord, this trailer is awful...

Cemetery Man (a.k.a. Dellamorte Dellamore)

Well, this is the third time I've seen this film, and it's still mostly impenetrable to me, but I think I love it all the same.

Francesco Dellamorte (Rupert Everett, in a performance that excuses a thousand My Best Friend's Weddings) is caretaker of the sprawling cemetery in the tiny town of Buffalora.  He and his half-witted assistant Gnaghi are tasked with maintaining the grounds, burying the stiffs, and shooting the stiffs in the head when they claw their way out of the grave seven days later.  Though lonely and depressed, Dellamorte takes his unconventional job in stride.  Eh, it's a living.

Things change when he meets, and instantly falls madly in love with, a gorgeous widow.  After a brief courtship involving bones, but not the kind you're thinking of, they wisely choose to have sex on her recently deceased husband's grave.  Naturally, hubby decides to make a return appearance and, perhaps hoping to take part in a threesome, bites a sizeable chunk out of his wife's arm.  Things pretty much go downhill from there.

I'm not sure how to describe what happens next.  I've never seen another film quite like it.  More a dark comedy than a horror movie, it's also a beautifully shot artistic statement on frustration and loneliness and the nature of love and death.  With exploding heads.  Lots of exploding heads.

When it's over, you probably won't get it -- I certainly don't -- but I'm not sure you're supposed to.  Anyway, I'm sure it's saying something pretty deep, and it's a hell of an entertaining ride no matter what you choose to take away from it.

Best Zombie: A boy who died in a horrific motorcycle crash and was apparently scraped off the road and buried as-is, launches from the grave astride his chopper.  When he turns to face the camera, we see that various bits of the car he ran into are embedded in his head.  His left eye socket now houses a turn signal.  It's still, somehow, blinking.

Best Line: "Mind your business!  I will be eaten by whoever I please!"

Lesson Learned: Pretty girls may make graves, but smokin' hot babes really dig an ossuary.

[mrbasehart]

O.C. Babes and the Slasher of Zombietown

Yeah, so technically a zombie movie.  It's about a disparate group of people who come together in a bar for a night out and find themselves trapped inside by a slathering group of undead monsters outside (seen once) but someone seems to be killing all the bar patrons off one by one anyway.  It's a truly horrendous movie, made by amateurs who know fuck-all about making a movie.  The sound is blocked out by the hideous score frequently, which can be a bit of a relief when you hear what the characters have to say.  It drops in at around 45 minutes long, but the director has the gall to insert frequent clips from the original Night of the Living Dead into his movie, with no apparent rhyme or reason.

Best Scene: There's one tiny glimpse of promise at a parody of one those sex/audition tapes you can see on the web, but it's quickly overplayed, unfunny, and far too long.

Worst Scene: Can I say everything else?

[Rude]

...

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/BV16TbTd77c

Attack Girls' Swim Team Versus The Undead

An evil doctor hunts his escaped, teenage assassin to a highschool where he unleashes a zombie virus. But thanks to the chlorine in the swimming pool, the girls' swim team remains unaffected. They eventually join forces with the teenage assassin Aki in a battle for their lives.

Best Scene: Vagina laser. You'll just have to see the movie.

Worst Scene: The evil doctor plays his rape flute (don't ask) to hypnotize Aki. But somehow it plays organ music instead, and he manages to keep talking at the same time.

Engrish Please: I'm not really sure why, but one of the teachers tries to speak all her lines in English. Maybe she's supposed to be the English teacher or something, but it's so horrible that they actually needed both English and Japanese subtitles.

-Rude

[Rude]

...

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/3thbT3wq7JE

Zombi 2

Known under a dozen different names, this is Lucio Fulci's zombie classic. Originally marketed as a sort of unofficial sequel to Dawn Of The Dead, it actually has nothing in common with that series. Instead, a young woman travels to an uncharted island in search of her missing father. There she meets a doctor who's researching the island's zombie phenomenon. Is it a virus, is it voodoo... will any of them survive long enough to find out?

Best Scene: Awesome underwater fight between a zombie and a shark!

Worst Scene: I'm not sure that being trapped in a graveyard during a zombie attack is the best time for a gross, open mouth make-out session.

Question: Who buries their dead barely like, three inches under loose dirt?

-Rude

[gojikranz]

zombi 2 is so insane.  the eye scene is certainly another highlight not for hte squemish.  the music score is also a personal favorite of mine.  i remember it had such a reputation when i stuck it in the first time and that music started in the menu i already started getting freaked out. 
While it may lack the social commentary of romero's zombie flicks i think aside from day of the dead this film has the best zombie action imho.

and i think the ending is my favorite zombie movie ending ever. 

[Rude]

...

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/PpuNE1cX03c

Dawn Of The Dead (U.S. Theatrical Version)

This is Romero's preferred version of his quintessential 1978 zombie survival film. If you haven't already seen it... i'm not quite sure what you're doing four pages deep in a thread devoted to zombie movies.

Anyway, i recently picked up the Ultimate Edition, and i'm curious to see the infamous Argento version. Hopefully i'll get back around to it before the end of the month.

Best Scene: I love watching Roger blast zombies as he's pushed around the mall in a wheelbarrow.

Worst Scene: As zombies attack left and right, a raider sits down in a pharmacy and sticks his arm in a blood pressure machine for some reason.

Good Idea / Bad Idea: Clearing out the zombie corpses before they begin to rot was most definitely a good idea. However, storing them in the freezer next to all your food... including exposed, raw meat. Well, that was probably a bad idea.

-Rude

[Relaxing Dragon]

I always figured they abandoned using that particular freezer, or maybe started dumping bodies over the side of the roof down the line.

I still need to see the Argento as well. My favorite's always been the Extended Cut. Music cues are a little off sometimes, but I dig the extra scenes (Stephen didn't kill that guy at the dock, for one thing).

[RobtheBarbarian]

I've got a couple zombie movies to pitch in. I'll watch 'em and get a-posting.

[RobtheBarbarian]

Dead Men Walking

A friend and I first saw this on a hotel TV and we remembered it, more than any other reason, for the unintentionally funny industrial metal song that plays over the opening credits (the lyrics sound something like "OH! BO DIGGA DI DO! BO-DO JABO BADO JIGGADIGGABOOBWOWWWW!!"). The song plays whenever zombie action gets intense, and we speculated that the band that played it was actually in the movie, being pulled along on a cart behind the zombies.

Wrought by the infamous Asylum Entertainment company and inflicted on the world via the Sci-Fi Channel. The movie opens with some guy finishing off a previous zombie attack with a shotgun. The cops show up right after he gets bitten and, because authority figures in horror movies are required by Hollywood law to be ignorant and obstructive for at least 3/4ths of the movie, slap the guy in handcuffs and take him away on account of all the dead bodies he just made.

Rewatching it for the first time in a while, I just noticed this guy looks a little bit like jewishcarpenter.



Anyway, the zombie infection waits patiently for the guy to get worked through the judicial system and sent to prison for all kinds of murder, and that's where the rest of the movie takes place. The ending is pretty much ripped off from Dawn of the Dead.

Best Scene: One infected inmate blows chunks all over the guy across from him in the cafeteria, and within 30 seconds the whole room is panicking, getting clubbed by the guards, projectile vomiting and ripping each others intestines out.

Worst Scene: Probably the warden's little girl pulling his guts out or the zombies crashing some dude's conjugal visit.

Subtle: The prison doctor is called Dr. Göring.

Not actually that bad, and if you watch it with your mind in the "brace for bad movie" position you notice lots of little good ideas and interesting touches.

[Rude]

...

Kick ass! More brains zombie movie reviews!

You need to find out who performs that song, Rob! Then we can add them to the roster of bands that are unknowingly providing the soundtrack for Zombie-Thon: 2009, which currently includes Death Breath and Send More Paramedics... among others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/t6MDOwo4-2Yhttp://www.youtube.com/watch/v/BT5DFAp81ro

-Rude

[RobtheBarbarian]

Looks to be a band called Substance D. Kinda reminds me of Static-X.

[Rude]

...

http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/ekh3hsLpuSI

Zombie Strippers

This movie stunk so bad that i actually checked the bottom of my boots. Who knew that getting zombified could be such a good business move for a stripper? Seems kinda' gross to me, but apparently it worked out pretty well because the girls really started raking in the bucks! But, of course, once one stripper does it... they all have to do it, and everything goes to hell.

Somehow this movie managed to be both fun and boring at the same time. I actually paused it multiple times to check my email, shave, and make dinner... i usually never do that while watching a movie. Go figure.

Best Scene: Some dude thinks he's in for a sweet lap dance, but instead the zombie stripper rips off his jaw.

Worst Scene: Jenna "Ducklips" Jameson gets the flesh ripped off her arms and legs by another jealous stripper. Actually that sounds pretty cool as i type it, but trust me... it was lame.

Set Design: Apparently Freddy Krueger likes to decorate his illegal, strip-club office with action figures.

-Rude