mrbasehart's Film Challenge! - COMPLETE

[mrbasehart]

Starting early today:

Snakes on a Train is, obviously, a cash-in on Snakes on a Plane, and the contrivance it uses to get snakes on the form of transport is just about as believable.  2 Mexican immigrants are smuggled onto a train that's heading for LA, one of them is infected with some type of curse that turns their spiritual energy (or something, it's never really explained) into snakes that seek out fellow passengers and kill them.  There's a couple of other minor sub-plots going on, such as a young girl smuggling drugs over the border, or a fledgling romance, but it's all pretty much ignored when the person who's been infected turns into a GIANT SNAKE.  The budget doesn't really allow for much more than a fleeting glance at the GIANT SNAKE, and so some quick Mexican Magic makes the thing disappear.  Fairly dull, fairly silly, but not tremendously awful.

[stansimpson]

Starting early today:

Snakes on a Train is, obviously, a cash-in on Snakes on a Plane, and the contrivance it uses to get snakes on the form of transport is just about as believable.  2 Mexican immigrants are smuggled onto a train that's heading for LA, one of them is infected with some type of curse that turns their spiritual energy (or something, it's never really explained) into snakes that seek out fellow passengers and kill them.  There's a couple of other minor sub-plots going on, such as a young girl smuggling drugs over the border, or a fledgling romance, but it's all pretty much ignored when the person who's been infected turns into a GIANT SNAKE.  The budget doesn't really allow for much more than a fleeting glance at the GIANT SNAKE, and so some quick Mexican Magic makes the thing disappear.  Fairly dull, fairly silly, but not tremendously awful.

You forgot to mention that the giant snake EATS THE TRAIN! 

When asked what's the worst movie I've ever seen, this often comes up.  I may have to add "Meet the Spartans" to that now.  Why did I see it?  Cuz it was after the "Plan 9" live event and I needed a trainwreck to follow it up.

[mrbasehart]

I didn't think it was that bad.  Sure, it's not very good, and I went into it with tremendously low expectations, but it doesn't come close to Meet the Spartans, Epic Movie, or even the worst of the worst, like Monster-A-Go-Go.

[mrbasehart]

Okay, so I've been through the list a couple of times, looking to "acquire" the movies on there, and these are the ones that are flat-out not available:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
Vampire Dentist
Rock and Roll Nightmare
The Apple
Knight Chills
B.A.P.S.
Twilight of the Cockroaches
Rock 'n' Roll High School Forever
Grim Prairie Tales
Quigley
Houseboat Horror
The Bargee
The Plank

With the exception of The Plank, none of them are available for rental or purchase over here either.  Several of them can be got through Amazon.com, and I've set up a wishlist for easy reference:

http://amzn.com/w/3R0T10ZQAGHV6

Grim Praire Tales and Twilight of the Cockroaches are nowheret to be found either.  If anybody knows where I can get 'em, let me know.

[mrbasehart]

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus is another Asylum produced-movie (I thought it'd go well in a double-bill with Snakes on a Train), though I guess this earns extra points for not being a complete rip-off of another movie.  However, the movie contains so many blockbuster cliches that it seem to borrow from all of them.  The plot is basically this: Under the ice of the Antarctic, a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus were frozen in time mid-battle.  Re-animated by some whales destroying their icy tomb, it's up to a few plucky marine biologists and the US Navy to destroy the two prehistoric monsters and make the water safe again.  It's bad of course, but is it the good kind of bad? I'd have to say not really.  As I said before, the movie tries so hard to emulate the formula for a Hollywood Blockbuster, that its failed attempts to do so are just a little embarassing, rather than fun.  There are a couple of stand out moments, both involving the shark and I believe both the in the trailer, but (like in the MST3k movies we've all seen) the movie is basically a bunch of people talking at each other for 80 minutes with some sub-par special effects thrown in for the remainder.  And the script is atrocious.

[tgeorgic]

well, since you cant get ahold of my other suggestion i'll suggest The Bedford Incident.

[mrbasehart]

Caddyshack 2 is a movie, well, a movie about halfway through realised I'd seen already.  Like the professional that I am, I still finished the bloody thing though.  Jackie Mason is an outsider to the exclusive country club and resort because of his background, which humiliates her daughter who is desperate to fit in with the crowd.  When Mason begins to build low-income housing in the neighbourhood, the snooty elite wage war against him.  It's pretty bad, thanks to a dodgy script, really terrible supporting performances - really Dan Akroyd? That character's meant to be funny? - and a general sense of been here, done that.  When your movie stars Jonathan Silverman, you know you're not going to have a good time.  It's also a waste of Chevy Chase's funny years.

[iv3rdawG]

I know you live in the UK and I'm not sure if you guys get IFC or not but Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead gets played on there often.

[mrbasehart]

I know you live in the UK and I'm not sure if you guys get IFC or not but Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead gets played on there often.

We don't, but I've...located it somewhere else.  I think I might need to bone up on my Hamlet before I see the movie, as I think I'd probably get more out of it.

[THE QUEEN!!!]

Are you still taking recommendations? Here's one fantastic movie that no one seems to have seen:

A NEW LEAF starring Walter Matthau and Elaine May

(hint: it's only on VHS, not on DVD yet).

[Tripe]

I know you live in the UK and I'm not sure if you guys get IFC or not but Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead gets played on there often.

We don't, but I've...located it somewhere else.  I think I might need to bone up on my Hamlet before I see the movie, as I think I'd probably get more out of it.

Probably not actually, It doesn't actually reference the work all that much.

Reading Waiting for Godot might be more useful.

[mrbasehart]

Are you still taking recommendations? Here's one fantastic movie that no one seems to have seen:

A NEW LEAF starring Walter Matthau and Elaine May

(hint: it's only on VHS, not on DVD yet).

I have it. 

[dignan]

No, watch a Magical Mystery Tour. You said you wanted to watch every movie. I CHALLENGE thee!

That's not a movie.  It's a bunch of over-indulged musicians wandering around England in a bus.

Hey, some of the films on that list are ones that I like. I just chose the memorable ones.

Only thing painful about watching Phantom of the Paradise is wondering how much better it could have been if DePalma had done just one more re-write with a little help from another screenwriter.

Gerrit Graham is absolutely hillarious in that.  "I know the difference between drug real and real real!"

[dignan]

Oh and, I recommend the Disney film Midnight Madness!

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

No, watch a Magical Mystery Tour. You said you wanted to watch every movie. I CHALLENGE thee!

That's not a movie.  It's a bunch of over-indulged musicians wandering around England in a bus.

Hey, some of the films on that list are ones that I like. I just chose the memorable ones.

Only thing painful about watching Phantom of the Paradise is wondering how much better it could have been if DePalma had done just one more re-write with a little help from another screenwriter.

Gerrit Graham is absolutely hillarious in that.  "I know the difference between drug real and real real!"

Can't imagine that film without him.  Seen him in other things and I have to wonder how much of that is his input.  He's a funny guy.