Riff on the trailer to "The Day the Earth Stood Still"

[gargantuas]

Riff on the trailer to "The Day the Earth Stood Still"
Watch the trailer first and then read the comments.

After seeing the preview I have concluded that this may be the first time a Rifftrax is available for a movie before it comes out.

"Your attention please.  Make your way across the courtyard to the main barracks."
1. Since this movie stars Keanu Reeves, you've already lost my attention.

"Leave all your cell phones and cameras here."
2. Conclusion: the story does not take place in Paris Hilton's bedroom.

"Don't be afraid.  Afraid of what?"
3. The red pulsing light in your right hand which means you've reached the age of thirty.

-Lights coming on-
4. Welcome to the Batcave.

"Are you currently in a seated position?"
5. Just barely.

"Do you feel pain?"
6. After starring in "A Scanner Darkly" that's all I feel.

"Are you human?" "My body is?"
7. My vocal inflections are not.

"Are you aware of an impending attack on the planet Earth?"
8. Why do aliens only target New York, DC or LA?  Why don't they go after Seattle or Duluth or Macon?  Considering the current social/political climate if Martians did blast away New York, DC or LA I'd send them a "thank you" card.

"Did you feel that?"
9. He who smelt it dealt it.

"You should let me go."
10. Return to the Matrix isn't going to make itself, you know.

-Encroaching death cloud-
11. And that's what Mexico City is like on a clear day!

-Jennifer Connelly is awestruck-
12. Dogs?  Playing poker?

"If the Earth dies, you die."
13. Here, let me prove it to you with a two hour long PowerPoint session.

"If you die, the Earth survives."
14. Thank you Goblin King.

-Exploding tree-
15.  I wanted a flashing star not a Bratz angel on top of my Christmas tree!

$100 million for this garbage?  Fox could use $10 to re-release Casablanca, The Best Years of Our Lives, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Going My Way or Sahara and easily double their box office take.  However, that's just an idea from a backwoods Red Stater.  I don't have a degree from Columbia nor do I attend coke parties but chances are my proposal is more fiscally and creatively sound than the next twelve scripts you get on your desk. 
-Good luck. -Jason Goldtrap 12.11.08