Author Topic: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews  (Read 16579 times)

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Offline daltysmilth

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What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« on: March 03, 2008, 10:13:23 PM »
Okay, we've all been through job interviews, and I'm sure we've all heard pretty much all the standard job-interview-type questions.  Like "So what made you decide to apply to [insert name of company here]?" or "Where do you see yourself in five years?".  So the point of this game is to come up with job-interview-type questions and snappy answers that we wish we could give to those questions.  So to give an example, to the question "Where do you see yourself in five years?", you might answer "Standing at the foot of your bed with a pair of hedge clippers and a menacing grin on my face."  Or to the question, "What made you decide to apply to this company?" you might say "Well, massive brain-death obviously.  You don't think I'd apply here if my faculties were runnng at FULL capacity do you?"  Get it?  You getting it, Spaceman?  Space-master?  You getting it?
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Offline Raven

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2008, 11:07:10 PM »
It's not a game if you answer your own question so I'll start.   Answer my question and then ask an interview question of your own.     



What made you want to apply to this company?



Offline Tripe

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2008, 05:38:15 AM »
Your receptionist wears these tight little tops and I thought "Hey wouldn't mind seeing that every morning"

So what would you say is your main weakness?


Offline RoninFox

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2008, 05:56:04 AM »
The laughter of children.  It makes the voices angry...so...so angry...

How would you improve communication in the office?
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Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2008, 06:15:26 AM »
I'd buy everybody bullhorns and make it mandatory for them to be up at full-volume.  Now everybody can be heard!

Where do you see yourself in five years?


Offline SaucyRossy

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2008, 06:20:10 AM »
As the ruler of the world with Dim as my Minister of Fun.


What do you think you can bring to the company that other applicants couldn't?

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Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2008, 06:24:13 AM »
Oh!  Are we having a party?  Do you need kegs or something?  I can bring kegs!  Do you need napkins?  I'll bring napkins!  How about heroin?  You want heroin?  I've got connections.  I can get heroin!

(PS - Saucy, you're hired!)

How would you handle conflict in the office?


Offline SaucyRossy

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2008, 06:26:40 AM »
By demolishing the persons work space infront of their eyes and if that didn't get them to see my way there family would be next.

(p.s. Dim you rawk lolozlz!)


How did you hear about us?

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Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2008, 06:28:00 AM »
Somebody told me, dipshit.

When are you available to work?


Offline SaucyRossy

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2008, 06:28:56 AM »
I was born ready. Ready to PARTYYY!!!


Why did you leave your previous job?

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Offline RoninFox

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2008, 06:30:34 AM »
It was getting real annoying to wash off those bloodstains every day.

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2008, 06:34:11 AM »
Jack:  Jack the Ripper, Jack Sparrow, and Jack Harkness.  You don't know Jack?

Have you ever used our product?


Offline RoninFox

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2008, 06:36:04 AM »
Nah, it doesn't have enough adhesive.  The last three girls just peeled it right off their mouth like it was nothing.

If you were conducting this interview, what question would you want asked?
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Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2008, 06:37:52 AM »
"Are you as turned on as I am?"

What are your hobbies?


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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #14 on: March 04, 2008, 06:39:41 AM »
I collect cat's eyes.  No not the marbels.


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