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Author Topic: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews  (Read 16704 times)

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Offline Nick

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #30 on: March 04, 2008, 08:33:50 AM »
* pours 24 gallons of green paint on the bosses desk. Well thats a start, but I got two more truckloads out back.

Personality question: If an armored bank car were left open, keys in the ignition, would you take it?
Killing me won't bring back your Goddamned honey!


Offline Courtney

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #31 on: March 04, 2008, 08:50:34 AM »
...Who told you?  Dammit, I knew there were security cameras!

How would you best deal with a difficult client?




NinjaComic

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #32 on: March 04, 2008, 08:59:30 AM »
Inflatable sumo wrestler suits.

How many people have you had work under you?


Offline Nick

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #33 on: March 04, 2008, 09:03:10 AM »
Sir I have never hired a prostitute to pleasure me.... *makes moaning noise* during.....work ... ever... yeah.

So why have you decided to come work for this firm?

Killing me won't bring back your Goddamned honey!


Doctor Who?

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #34 on: March 04, 2008, 09:07:13 AM »
Because none of the good companies were hiring.

Have you ever used drugs before?


NinjaComic

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #35 on: March 04, 2008, 09:08:56 AM »
Used?  No.  Taken, partied with, imbibed, drank, and shot, yes.


Tell me what isn't on your resume.


Doctor Who?

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #36 on: March 04, 2008, 09:11:51 AM »
Well for two years I sold crack for a guy who lived down the block from me.

Would you allow use to conduct a background check on you?


Offline Tripe

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #37 on: March 04, 2008, 09:15:27 AM »
I'd prefer a body cavity search ;)

Would you say you were a self starter?


NinjaComic

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #38 on: March 04, 2008, 09:16:36 AM »
No, I have a broken pull string.  Or did you mean internal human combustion?


What made you chose our industry  as a new carear for you?


Doctor Who?

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #39 on: March 04, 2008, 09:18:01 AM »
Well you have hired three other ex crack dealers i know.

Have you ever stolen from your place of work before?


Offline Courtney

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #40 on: March 04, 2008, 09:22:40 AM »
Only hearts... and two virginities.  But they were of legal age by months, I swear.

What would you say your three greatest strengths are?




Offline Tripe

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #41 on: March 04, 2008, 09:24:13 AM »
I can tie a knot in a cherry stalk with my tongue, that's always been appreciated.

Are you a good negotiator?
« Last Edit: March 04, 2008, 09:31:00 AM by TripeHoundRedux »


Doctor Who?

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #42 on: March 04, 2008, 09:38:24 AM »
WHAT EVER IT IS YOU WANT YOU CAN HAVE IT,JUST STOP WITH THE QUESTIONS!!!

Do you work well with others?


NinjaComic

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #43 on: March 04, 2008, 09:44:51 AM »
So long as I hold the choice of life or death over them.


Tell me of a time you broke a company rule to satisfy a customer.


Offline Tripe

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Re: What We Wish We Could Say During Job Interviews
« Reply #44 on: March 04, 2008, 09:50:05 AM »
One of the part timers had given the wrong change to a regular customer, I gave the correct change and then garrotted the part timer in front of the customer as a show of good faith.


What motivates you most at work?