Funny Jokes of Yours They Didn't Use

[Insert Coin(s) to Continue]

Disappointed that any of your jokes didn't make the cut? Have anything truly inspired to share with the rest of us?

[GregMcduck]

Near the end, Batgirl and Robin are trying to work some broken computer, and Robin goes "We're going to have to do this upside down" and Batgirl goes "Men." I wrote  "(as Batgirl) Your PENIS is the reason this computer is broken." I wrote the joke mostly because ROTS proved there's nothing funnier in this world then Bill saying "PENIS".

You know what was in that spot instead? Silence.

[SmilinJackRoss]

Right after the bike race, when Alicia says that riding motorcycles "made the pain go away", I riffed "But the pain came back after I slid on my back for a quarter mile."  I thought it was pretty good.

Also, when Batman thaws Robin in the water and heats it up with his laser, I had written a little info-mercial about the "Pocket Laser Boiler".  It might have been a bit long-winded though.

[GregMcduck]

Another one they used silence for instead of a joke was when Batman cuts the power to Robin's motorcycle and he starts skidding down the statue's arm. I put "Yeah, this is WAY safer."

[JoshWay]

Reading back through my script, I can see why most of my jokes were passed over. But here are a few of my favorites:

(Opening suiting-up sequence) "Robert Maplethorpe's Batman"

(Referring to the giant idol in the Gotham Museum) "Look, up there, it's the Mighty Favog!"

(During one of the countless confusing action scenes) "You really get a sense of wherever the Hell they are."

(Bane is injected with the steroid/hormone juice) "The Barry Bonds workout."

(During Ivy's gorilla dance) "Grape Ape: The Motion Picture"

(During one of the stupid, pseudo-comic fight scenes) "Ernest Goes to Camp didn't have this much friggin' camp in it!"

(Appearance of Jesse Ventura) "Hey, it's that OTHER big dumb politician!"

(Freaks at the motorcycle race) "See You at the Flagpole is WEIRD this year!"

("Alfred's sick") "He has Irritable Bat Syndrome"

(Batgirl finds the Batcave) "Oh, great. A chick in the Batcave. I bet she's gonna tidy up, hide the remote controls, and fold the end of the toilet paper roll into a little triangle."

(Poison Ivy in Arkham at the end) "Uh oh - she's Helena-Bonham-Carter-ing!"

[GregMcduck]

(Opening suiting-up sequence) "Robert Maplethorpe's Batman"

I had "Darren Aronofsky's Batman."

[bratpop]

[misterX313]

(2nd longest-winded post)
Despite visiting Rifftrax regularly since The Fifth Element was posted, I somehow didn't hear about the fanriff until 4 days before the deadline and turned it in at 2am Sunday so I'm just happy they read my script at all-and even happier that a few of my lines got in. That said, I have a few that I just couldn't wait to hear the guys say cause I really tried to emulate their Rifftrax personalities. And even though I got to hear all three say something I wrote, I didn't get any of my interaction moments in.

But mostly, I wanted to let Joel Schumacher have it (add tasteless pun here) cause it's mostly his fault:

[Matt B]

Well, this is an odd bit of synchronicity.

Reading back through my script, I can see why most of my jokes were passed over. But here are a few of my favorites:
(Bane is injected with the steroid/hormone juice) "The Barry Bonds workout."

Yep.  "Ah, the Barry Bonds process."

(Appearance of Jesse Ventura) "Hey, it's that OTHER big dumb politician!"

Yep. "Man, there are more politicians in this than on CSPAN."
(And why was there no riffs about Ventura at all? Even a "Arkham presents PredatorCon'08!" riff.)

(Poison Ivy in Arkham at the end) "Uh oh - she's Helena-Bonham-Carter-ing!"

And this is tre odd. "Helena Bonham Carter in a surprise guest appearance."


And there's only three that I really regretted not hearing.
One at the end when the satellite appears:
"The satellite reads US Army"   "Ah. Part of the Army's elite space division." "I hear they work a lot with the Air Force's underground drilling Corps."
(a Stern riff? Really?)

As Batman is heating up the city with the (fingerquote) Laser (/fingerquote):  "So, when this ice melts, that means thousands of tons of water are suddenly going to wash over Gotham, right?" "It's a shame Massive Water Damage Man isn't here to see this." (There was another similar quote about plumbers later. But neither was used. And there's dead air for both. Sigh.)

And lastly, one where one of Josh's was used.
At the 34 minute mark, where we were panning up the giant man statue. " Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his own brow? 'No!' says the man in Gotham, 'It belongs to the Bat.'"

The statue looks almost exactly like the architecture used in Bioshock, and how often do we get the chance to put a Bioshock reference into a Rifftrax? (Yeah, it's a 5 percenter joke. But those are the riffs people remember.)

And I'm not broken up about this one, but I had a joke about the frizzies when Bane and Ivy were in the ape costumes. Didn't make it. Oh well.


(Oh, I also tried fitting in "Believe me Robin, woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man" into several places, which is a paraphrasing of a line from "Oh, Brother", but it didn't make it in. To be fair, there wasn't really a good place for it to be used, either topic or space-wise. And neither of my Schnappi refs made it in either.)

[bratpop]

My Jesse Ventura joke was too obscure. Lesson learned. I also had a Frizzies joke.

[Minnesota]

(And why was there no riffs about Ventura at all? ...)

I'm positive about this Rifftrax (because it's one of my favorites!) but I agree with you here. I expected at least one Jesse V joke.

[Raven]

I haven't watched the whole thing but in regards to Ventura, I put "Help stop Governor on Governor violence."

[Raven]

It was one of my co-workers who said it but I was suprised it didn't make the cut.  Right at the beginning when Batman slides down the dinosaur the line was "Yabba Dabba Doo" like Fred Flinstone.    The stegasaurus line was funny too but I thought the reference was perfect. 

[Minnesota]

It was one of my co-workers who said it but I was suprised it didn't make the cut.  Right at the beginning when Batman slides down the dinosaur the line was "Yabba Dabba Doo" like Fred Flinstone.    The stegasaurus line was funny too but I thought the reference was perfect. 

[bratpop]

The Ventura jokes would have required you to know that was Jesse Ventura. I had to check the credits to be sure. I thought maybe it was that dog from Men in Black.