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Author Topic: The Monkey's Paw  (Read 38490 times)

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Offline Lembach

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #480 on: May 28, 2013, 10:26:31 PM »
Granted.

All too soon, however, your backyard charnel pit soon comes under suspicion by the FBI investigating the disappearance of your neighbor. You are quickly locked away and forced to be some bad man's girlfriend.

Oh, and the bear is put to sleep. I hope you are happy.

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I wish for the ability to stop/start time at will, being able to move and manipulate things while time is halted.


Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #481 on: May 29, 2013, 06:15:36 PM »
Granted.  Unfortunately, the only time can stop is 9:30, May 24th, 1659.  But you can stop it any time you want.

I wish I would never get hungover.


Offline BBQ Platypus

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #482 on: May 30, 2013, 10:37:05 PM »
Granted.  You are no longer able to consume fluids of any kind.

I wish for a really cool hat.
Correction: the coat hanger should be upside down.


Offline Lembach

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #483 on: May 31, 2013, 12:04:00 AM »
Granted. While driving past the 2013 License to Thrill convention, you are tragically decapitated by an Oddjob cosplayer showing off in the hotel parking lot.

I wish I had invested in Microsoft during the early 1980s.



Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #484 on: May 31, 2013, 06:52:23 AM »
Granted, but unfortunately your now in 1980's BC and you are an investor in very small pillows.  Though it's not all bad, since you are doing very well.  So it's kind of a wash.

I wish I could travel to space.


Offline BBQ Platypus

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #485 on: June 01, 2013, 10:02:00 AM »
Granted.  While out for an evening stroll, a strange man comes from behind a bush, chloroforms you, sticks you in his trunk, and takes you to space.  A small, enclosed space located underneath a cornfield in Indiana.

I wish I could play guitar.
Correction: the coat hanger should be upside down.


Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #486 on: June 01, 2013, 08:06:37 PM »
Granted, you know play the character of Guitar in the Dragonball: Evolution sequel.  Enjoy the 4 hour make up process for acting in a shitty movie.

Next, I wish I had scrambled eggs.


Hawkfan

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #487 on: June 24, 2013, 05:19:25 PM »
Granted. You are now Angelina Jolie.

I wish I were 6inches taller**.

[**Note use of subjunctive]


Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #488 on: June 25, 2013, 05:56:27 AM »
Granted.  You are now 6 inches taller than Inch High Private Eye

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/Lo0i9iisAPo" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/Lo0i9iisAPo</a>

I wish I was Inch High, Private Eye


Hawkfan

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #489 on: June 25, 2013, 05:23:16 PM »
Granted. I am now Dick Tracy and you are a cockroach.[Ah, the power of the comma]

I wish I were musically talented.



Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #490 on: June 26, 2013, 07:50:52 PM »
Granted.  You are Phil Spector.

I wish I was sane!


Hawkfan

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #491 on: July 02, 2013, 06:57:14 PM »
Granted. You realize what the hell is really going on and top yourself to avoid the wrath of our Invisible Alien Overlords.

I wish I could fly!


Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #492 on: July 03, 2013, 12:07:32 AM »
Granted.  Unfortunately, it only goes up.

I wish I could speak Swedish.


Hawkfan

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #493 on: July 06, 2013, 01:53:53 PM »
Granted. Good luck with it Chef... and here comes the puppeteer's hand!

I wish someone would end this thread.


Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Monkey's Paw
« Reply #494 on: July 08, 2013, 02:31:53 AM »
Granted.