Darth Geek sent us "Legend" as potential riffing material... Ridley Scott may have gone on to make some iconic films, but he can bite me for "Legend". What I hate about most fantasy is that, ironically, it is so often completely devoid of creativity. It's all the same goblins, fairies, and gnomes. Nothing in this movie is new. The writing is insipid and useless.
Our heroine is a confusingly moronic princess (although no evidence of a kingdom of any kind is ever seen) who has no respect for her fiance. He takes her to see the unicorns and begs her not to disturb them, what with the unicorns being the only thing between Satan and hell on Earth, but she prances off despite his desperate pleas and gets one of the unicorns killed.
The fiance, Jack, is even less interesting. He is presumably pooped out of a tree in his first scene, and no other backstory of any kind whatsoever is provided. He's just there. He's inexplicably in love with our heroine, too. He also spends most of the movie in a chain-mail miniskirt. Eesh.
The rest of the characters are beyond generic. Bumbling gnomes, spritely fairies, scratchy-throated goblins. And of course, everybody in makeup moves around fruitishly like Power Rangers villains.
The score goes out of its way to make sure no scene has any impact. It's typical generic fantasy fare, but it gets just about every mood wrong. It's also pretty much ALWAYS PRESENT, effectively blending the whole movie together into one long, tedious, scene.
Bad movies usually entertain me (I am in the riffing business after all), but this one just made me want to shove some gnomes down the garbage disposal. Thanks a LOT, Darth Geek.
