Author Topic: Bad movie haiku  (Read 25434 times)

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Offline call_me_nuveena

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Bad movie haiku
« on: July 19, 2007, 12:35:34 AM »
Compose your own and post it/them here!  I'll do a couple to start you off.


People in Japan
sure must not live very long
thanks to Godzilla.


The music tells all.
Orchestration heralds death.
Oh no! Violins!



Offline PsypherPunk

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2007, 05:56:45 AM »
An Ode to the Wicker Man:
Quote
Whose idea was it,
Punching people in bear suits?
Bees - seriously!?


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2007, 06:19:19 AM »
KIera Knightly?
Clive Owen and good costumes?
Why did Arthur Suck?

Resident Evil
Milla's twat, spagetti dog
Zombie game movie


Offline call_me_nuveena

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2007, 08:41:30 AM »
*cracks up*  Awesome.


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2007, 08:55:30 AM »
Okay, I'm going to do all the Godzilla films, I think. Why? Why not?

Gojira Movie
Nineteen Fifty Four classic
The Dinosaur Dies

A lesser sequel
One Godzilla Raids Again
Where did he come from?

Monkey Suit, Lizard
King Kong vs Godzilla
Now things get goofy


Offline call_me_nuveena

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2007, 09:21:24 AM »
Yuss!  It's only appropriate to write haiku about Japanese films.  I tip my hat to you, Junkyard.

Well, I would if I wore a hat.

I...er...tip my headband to you.



« Last Edit: July 19, 2007, 09:26:15 AM by call_me_nuveena »


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2007, 09:26:43 AM »
Thanks. But first a brief American interlude:

The Incredibles
Rip off of Fantastic Four
Better than F.F.

Okay, back to Gojira

I feel Mothra rocks
Mothra vs Godzilla
A real dream come true

King Ghidorah is
Godzilla's one greatest foe
Has three lightning spewing heads

Ghidorah returns
As renamed Monster Zero
Space Men want conquest


Offline PsypherPunk

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2007, 09:34:00 AM »
Ode to Underworld:
Quote
Vampires and Werewolves,
Kate in skin-tight leather,
Yet somehow boring.

In honour of the imminent release of The Monster Squad:
Quote
Van Helsing blew it,
Three words: scary, german, guy.
Yes, Wolfman's got nards.


Offline call_me_nuveena

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2007, 09:35:08 AM »
One inspired by an episode of MST3K


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2007, 11:05:17 AM »
Godzilla, Mothra
Ebirah, Giant Lobster
Weird King Kong moments

Son of Godzilla
Retarded donkey lizard
Wonder who Mom is

Kaiju free for all
Destroy All Monsters was fun
Stock Footage Galore

Godzilla's Revenge
Minya was movie's focus
Toho did sell out

Goofy Smog Monster
'Zilla vs Hedorah
Cartoons and Hippies

Godzilla talks in
Godzilla vs Gigan
Alien Cyborg

Mistie favorite
'Zilla vs Megalon
Jet Jaguar: Awesome

Mechagodzilla
Godzilla's first robot clone
King Caesar co-stars

Titanosaurus
Mechagodzilla returns
Devestating tail!

1984
Godzilla Returns once more
He answers bird calls?

End of the 80's
Biollante: a plant monster
Godzilla's bastard

New King Ghidorah
Plus Mecha King Ghidorah
Dumb time travellers

Yes! Mothra is back!
Also the creepy fairies
And Battra, brother

Mecha G, Rodan,
New, cute Godzilla offspring
Carnival battle

Space Godzilla? Cripes.
As dignified as it sounds
Still,  Moguera's cool

Destoroyah attacks;
Ancient enemy of G
Is this the end? No.

U.S. Godzilla
Now bring me Emmerich's head
I hate this movie

Godzilla: New Mill
Not much has changed for Big G
Space Monster Orga

Megaguirus: Bug
Lots of computer effects
Still couldn't save it

Godzilla, Mothra
And King Ghidorah. Didn't
Mention Baragon

Tortured heroine
Mechagodzilla: Good Guy
Except some small quirks

G fights Mecha G
A Tokyo S.O.S.
Mothra keeps dying

A lot of monsters
Now Godzilla: Final Wars
Sad Matrix rip off

Phew!
« Last Edit: July 19, 2007, 09:14:25 PM by Junkyard »


Offline call_me_nuveena

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2007, 11:40:54 AM »
Jesus, Mary and Johnny Depp, Junkyard!  A winner is you!

*laughs*




Offline Junkyard

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2007, 01:00:43 PM »
Oh my Ganesha. I just figured something out.
Everyone asks, "Where did Minya come from, if Godzilla is a male?"
Well, look at his face:

Now look at these two:


Sweet crossbreeding monsters! When they were rolling around in the hills of Japan in King Kong vs Godzilla, they must have.... ugh.
King Kong got preggers!
NOOOOOO!!!
Oh, and


(Sorry for the graphics intensive post.)


Offline RVR II

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2007, 01:04:16 PM »
Oh my Ganesha. I just figured something out.
Everyone asks, "Where did Minya come from, if Godzilla is a male?"
Well, look at his face:

Now look at these two:


Sweet crossbreeding monsters! When they were rolling around in the hills of Japan in King Kong vs Godzilla, they must have.... ugh.
King Kong got preggers!
NOOOOOO!!!
Oh, and


(Sorry for the graphics intensive post.)
:D :D :D
 :clap: :clap: :clap:


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2007, 01:11:08 PM »
Okay, one more damning piece of evidence, and then I'm done with this:

THEY ARE FROLLICKING IN A FIELD, PEOPLE.

Starship Troopers film
Preppies getting killed by bugs
Painful of Funny?


Offline call_me_nuveena

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Re: Bad movie haiku
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2007, 01:23:28 PM »
Okay, one more damning piece of evidence, and then I'm done with this:

THEY ARE FROLLICKING IN A FIELD, PEOPLE.

In my head, that scene is accompanied by the touching strains of, What the world needs now... Is love, sweet love....