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Author Topic: Save this movie!  (Read 17413 times)

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Offline Junkyard

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #30 on: June 04, 2007, 09:41:19 AM »
Give Cruise the surgeries nessesary to give him more than 3 facial expressions.

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Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #31 on: June 04, 2007, 12:02:54 PM »
Replace the sun beam death satellite with something that hasn't been used in one form or another 50 times before, axe Halle Berry. Get rid of Madonna. Maybe axe the whole gimmicky ice hotel thing...

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Offline Junkyard

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #32 on: June 04, 2007, 12:29:09 PM »
Don't do the "Everybody knows vikings came to America before Columbus now so let's make a movie about it but still make Europeans evil psychos and Native American in touch with nature even though the Vikings never really did much with America, muchless make war with the natives on some grand scale" thing. Also, get a new director.

So yeah, Tactical Nuke again.

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Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #33 on: June 04, 2007, 01:49:11 PM »
Beat Tim Burton in the crotch with a golf club once every three days and throw him into an arena full of baying comic book fans once a week until the end of filming. Replace Uma Thurman with an actress who looks less like Wayne Gretzky. Replace all fake blood used in the film with real blood harvested from Tim Burton fanchildren.



Continuing with the "failed attempts at medieval movies" theme, King Arthur (2002)


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #34 on: June 04, 2007, 02:06:28 PM »
Oy.... They had Kiera Knightly all up in the strappy leather, PLUS that cool guy from Sin City and Children of Men, and they still failed miserably to pull an audience. Hmmm...
Replace the writer and director. That's the best I can come up with.

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Offline Raven

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #35 on: June 04, 2007, 03:56:23 PM »
Beat Tim Burton in the crotch with a golf club once every three days and throw him into an arena full of baying comic book fans once a week until the end of filming.

I think this was more Schumacher than Burton.  And you forgot to replace the bobble head Batman with anyone else. 


And for Snakes on a Plane.  Throw the Olsen Twins on the plane and watch them both die a very painful death.  I really liked the movie for what it was and that would make it awesome. 

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Offline Junkyard

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #36 on: June 04, 2007, 04:04:53 PM »
Less intilectul bla bla.

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Offline Hazzah

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #37 on: June 04, 2007, 05:53:11 PM »
Just rename it "Crap" so it lets everyone know ahead of time.

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Offline Junkyard

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #38 on: June 04, 2007, 07:41:32 PM »
Tactical Nu- no, I'll try with this one. More of a budget, less focus on pleaseing a specific group of movie goers.

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Offline Hazzah

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #39 on: June 04, 2007, 08:09:52 PM »
Stop lying to us, those damn things weren't invisible!

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Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #40 on: June 04, 2007, 08:10:31 PM »
Penn and Teller direct.

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Offline Junkyard

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #41 on: June 04, 2007, 08:31:31 PM »
I liked "The Core," but they really could have gotten rid of the giant Geode and toned down the obligitory Jackass's jackassery.

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Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #42 on: June 05, 2007, 09:20:39 AM »
Here's a tip when making the sequel to a haunted house movie: don't change the backstory to include a crazy ghost villain.  Also a plausible reason for our heroes to be haunted again.

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Offline Tripe

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #43 on: June 05, 2007, 09:26:12 AM »
Have King Kong appear, Fay Wray in hand.

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Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: Save this movie!
« Reply #44 on: June 05, 2007, 10:48:17 AM »
Just get rid of most of the scenes that are basically quiet, brooding, introspective scenes.  It'll shave down the vast majority of the movie, guaranteed.

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