Author Topic: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes  (Read 6785 times)

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Offline Hazzah

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Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« on: May 21, 2007, 07:39:01 PM »
The object is to take a much loved movie (by the general public) or an ultra classic and provide the worst possible actors to take the place of the original if a remake should ever disgrace us.

I'll go first:

The Godfather (2008)

Vito Corleone................ Charles Durning
Michael Corleone......... David Hyde Pierce
Sonny Corleone........... Jim Carrey
Tom Hagen....................Billy Crystal
Kay Adams.....................Ricki Lake
Hi-Keeba!


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2007, 07:44:55 PM »
Fun!

Casablanca:
Rick- Daymon Wayans
Ilsa- Jessica Simpson
Victor- John Rhys Davies (Gimli, from LoTR)
Ugarte- Brad Pit
Captain Renault- Woody Allen


Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2007, 07:46:47 PM »
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Butch Cassidy - Christian Bale

Sundance Kid - Matt Damon

Etta Place - Jessica Alba


Offline Hazzah

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2007, 07:49:10 PM »
Deliverance (2009)

Ed Gentry.........................Yahoo Serious
Lewish Medlock.............Carrot Top
Bobby Trippe...................Dax Shepherd
Drew Ballinger...............Forest Whitaker
Hi-Keeba!


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2007, 07:56:45 PM »
All right this is mine by right:
Gojira:
Akira- Shia LaBeouf
Emiko- Fergie
Dr. Serizawa- Robin Williams
Godzilla- Dakota Fanning.

Fanning as either Godzilla himself, or as the actor inside the 120 pound Godzilla suit is really funny to me.


Offline eclipt1c

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2007, 09:17:12 PM »
Seven Samurai


Kambei Shimada:  Al Franken
Kikuchiyo:  Mr. T

Totally random, but IMDb tells me it's their birthday.
'Skip to the End' - Spaced


Offline Dim of the Yard

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2007, 09:44:53 PM »
Brazil (1985)

Sam Lowry: Steven Seagal
Jill Layton: Nicole Kidman  (Dream sequence chick, she's just fine.  Rest of the movie... not so much.)
Harry Tuttle: Woody Allen
Jack Lint: Christopher Walken
Mr. Helpmann: Kurt Russell
Mr. Kurtzmann: Tom Hanks
Mrs. Lowry: Rosemary Harris
Holly Lint: Jodelle Ferland, or any other "young" actress who is 8 or older.
Heating Engineers: Daniel Craig/Orlando Bloom

Soundtrack by My Chemical Romance
Directed by Tim Burton


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2007, 02:18:31 AM »
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

Michaelangelo: Kelsey Grammar
Leonardo: Bobcat Goldthwait
Raphael: Rick Moranis
Donatello: Tommy Lee Jones
Master Splinter: Eddie Murphy
Casey Jones: Casey Casum
April O'Neil: Rosey O'Donnel
Shredder: Tony Hawk


Offline Junkyard

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2007, 04:57:22 AM »
Monty Python, Life of Brian:

Brian- Mel Gibson
Brian's Mum- Pat Robertson
Pontius Pilate- Tom Cruise
Judith- Star Jones


Offline Sharktopus

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2007, 08:57:46 AM »
Marky Mark Wahlberg is Taylor in Tim Burton's Planet Of The A... Oh, wait.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Butch Cassidy - Christian Bale

Sundance Kid - Matt Damon

Etta Place - Jessica Alba

I'd go see that movie.


Offline RobtheBarbarian

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2007, 12:30:43 PM »

Matt Damon!


Offline dignan

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2007, 12:56:51 PM »
Raiders of the Lost Ark

Indiana Jones - Keenan Thompson
Marion Ravenwood - Denise Richards
Belloq - Jean-Claude Van Damme
Sallah - Jean-Claude Van Damme (in a dual role!  This time around, Belloq and Sallah are twins!)
Toht - Freddie Prinze, Jr.
Marcus Brody - Jeff Bridges


Offline Hazzah

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2007, 04:34:08 PM »
Chinatown (2010)

Jake Gittes...............................Matthew Lillard
Evylyn Mulwray.........................Farrah Fawcett
Noah Cross..............................Jim Belushi
Hi-Keeba!


Offline Sharktopus

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2007, 08:39:42 PM »
Indiana Jones - Keenan Thompson

Y'know, I met Kenan Thompson once. Kind of a dick.

That's all.


Offline Rude

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Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
« Reply #14 on: May 22, 2007, 09:30:37 PM »
...

TAXI DRIVER
Let me ruin one of your favorite films by casting the talentless idiot Andy Dick and walking-STD Lindsay Lohan in starring roles! Witness Rowlf the Dog narrowly avoid an assassination attempt. Also be sure not to miss Woody Allen as everyone's favorite tough-guy pimp~

Travis Bickle - Andy Dick

Betsy - Lindsay Lohan

Sport - Woody Allen

Senator Palantine - Rowlf The Muppet

-Rude

PS Rob- I've changed my Windows sound on my work computer, so that whenever i do something that's not allowed... instead of that Ding! it says "Matt Damon." in that really retarded Team America way. Now, whenever someone at work does something stupid it's always "Matt Damon!"
« Last Edit: May 22, 2007, 10:58:05 PM by Rude »
"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."<a href="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=3942804-0e3" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=3942804-0e3</a>