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Offline tejava joe

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Random Movie Review
« on: July 18, 2013, 10:03:59 PM »
IMDB random movie title generator--->http://www.imdb.com/random/title

Watch a random movie and write a review.  The rules:

1.  One clicky only!!!  no cherry-picking
2.  you must not have ever seen the movie before, if not clicky again.
3.  no matter what it is you must make an honest attempt to procure the movie, Netflix, video store, whatever, and if not available you can clicky again.
4.  No TV shows
« Last Edit: July 19, 2013, 07:15:46 PM by tejava joe »


Offline tejava joe

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2013, 10:06:28 PM »
Grrrooooannnn



Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2013, 10:40:46 PM »
I got The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

And now we play the waiting game... :^)


Offline Raven

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2013, 12:45:21 AM »
Hmm.  I got Rango.  I'm pretty sure my in-laws have it.  Seeing them this weekend.  Review to follow. 


Offline Tripe

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2013, 08:11:40 AM »
Donnie Darko!, oh, okay a movie I've not seen, hang on.

Six attempts later; Madagascar 2.... fine!  ::)


Offline Mrs. Dick Courier

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2013, 09:38:05 AM »
I loved Pitch Perfect

After 5 clicks finally found one I hadn't seen, it shows TV shows too BTW and since I have no way to see Arrow I clicked again.

Got Before Sunrise which is actually a movie I want to see.  May watch online tonight.
Opticians are easy on the eyes


Offline tejava joe

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2013, 04:21:36 PM »

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1606378/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1


I'm hoping this whole random movie review exercise will turn up an unexpected gem or two.  Unfortunately I'll have to dig through a few turds first.  This movie is a turd.

It was kind of neat having the choice of movie taken out of my hands.  The movie started, the 20th Century Fox fanfare, the music, the atmosphere.  I was kind of into it.  It was like a serendipidous kind of thing, like randomly ending up on some movie on TV.  I tried to approach it with an open mind.

Well, it was no Die Hard 1,2 or 3.  It's basically John McLaine in Russia.  Whoop-di-doop.  The russian cab driver singing Frank Sinatra did not amuse me.  The grandeur of russian architecture eluded me, particularly the finale in what appeared to be a cement factory.  CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP.


There were some positives; the action sequences weren't bad.  They weren't on par with Die Hard 1, 2 or 3 but serviceable enough, then again who gives a SHIT about cgi explosions anyway. 

The russian girl...mamaloush what a piece of ASS.  I would have been so much happier seeing a movie of her combing her hair, trying on different clothes, doing yoga, or scrubbing a toilet.


There were sooo many negatives as you would expect;  first of all Bruce Willis's plastic surgery face just PISSES ME OFF.  He doesnt have that warm, personable smirk any more.  He really comes across as a grouchy sourpuss pretending to smile.  The script was clearly bad.  I wondered...is that bad acting too?  Or is that the best delivery they can do with the script?  Its one or both.


The bad guy was no Hans Gruber.  The fiendish criminal plot was nowhere near as interesting as 1, 2 or 3. 

Oh by the way they forgot to put the funny in the movie.  Here's an example; Bruce Willis totals his truck so he needs a new one to continue the chase.  A random motorist gets out of his car and starts berating Bruce in russian.  Bruce belts him in the mouth, knocks him out cold, and yells in the dudes unconscious face "think I can understand any of that?!?!?".  Then he gets in the dude's car and snarls at the other drivers "Get outta the way!!".  And then he peels out.  The scene just ends like that and the chase continues.  It was weird.   Was it supposed to be a comedic tension breaker from all the action?  it was just weird, and mean.  And lazy.  And slapped together.  Did someone actually write those words in a script?  This is the kind of thing that really makes me feel personally disrespected by the movie makers. 

Then there's the throwback swaggering John Wayne poseur cowboy attitude.  I did not find it entertaining.  I did not find it impressive.  It was just...insultingly tiresome. 



His son was nothing more than the same one-dimensional caricature.  Their banter was lame, fake and phony.  Again, DOES SOMEONE ACTUALLY BOTHER TO WRITE THIS SHIT IN A SCRIPT?  How can this happen?  The movie is an investment of millions of dollars and thousands of hours of poeople lives!  Doesn't anyone care?  LOOK--->

Maclaine: "We're going to Chernobyl?"
His son: "Yup."
"THE chernobyl?  With the radioactive junk?"
"Thats the one"
"Its not the chernobyl in switzerland right?  with all the skiiing in the snow and everything?"
"you mean Grenoble?  [laughs]  no sorry, we're not going to Grenoble [laughs again]"
"Eddies gonklin's father took him down to boca to the track for four days"
"thats nice"
'yeah thats nice."
"..we gotta go to Chernobyl?"
"Yeah sorry about that"
"But all the radioactive stuff's out right?  [they look at each other]  [end scene]"

ARGHGHGHGHGH

I'll throw in a few spoilers. I'm ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE no one gives a shit but i'll hide them anyway...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Unfortunately the closer I look the more cracks, zits, and flaws appear, which kind of actually makes the old Die Hard movies lose their charm.  Skip this movie!







« Last Edit: July 19, 2013, 08:02:06 PM by tejava joe »


Offline tejava joe

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2013, 08:11:16 PM »
another clicky and what did I get?  Die Hard!  Fortunately I already saw it. 

next up: The Invisible (2007) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0435670/

I know nothing about this movie.



Offline tejava joe

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2013, 08:47:36 PM »
another clicky and what did I get?  Die Hard!  Fortunately I already saw it. 

next up: The Invisible (2007) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0435670/

I know nothing about this movie.



Alright this is what I'm talking about.  A movie I normally would never get on my own turns out to be pretty good.  it kept my attention anyways. 

Its a what-if teen emo drama.  It focused mainly on some kid actor I've seen somewhere before.  He was the one with Gosling and Bullock in that one other movie.  He's ok I guess.  And then there's a girl and his friends and a bunch of drama.  I can't really talk about it except to spoil it so there you go.

I'm mature enough now to suspend disbelief so the holes in the story didn't bother me so much.   I'm also mature enough to not try to figure out the ending either; I just sat back and watched and allowed it to unfurl at its own speed. 

Not super great, but a nice distraction.  Throw it on your Netflix why don't you?


Offline tejava joe

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2013, 08:51:52 PM »
Next up: Dark Skies   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2387433/

Another new one.



Offline tejava joe

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2013, 08:44:16 PM »
BTW that Invisible 2007 movie inspired me to rewatch Murder by Numbers with Sandra Bullock.  Great, great movie.  You should totally watch it.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2013, 10:09:48 PM »
Blue Jasmine.  Another long wait.


Offline tejava joe

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2013, 12:38:58 PM »
Blue Jasmine.  Another long wait.

I got The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

And now we play the waiting game... :^)

See rule 3


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Random Movie Review
« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2013, 06:54:14 AM »
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

A strange, exciting film from Tom Twyker, who co-directed Cloud Atlas and directed Heaven (which I also recommend) that's sort of a dark fairy tale mixed with a slight old school Universal Monsters vibe.  Not that there is an actual monster, but it revolves around a boy with an unusual gift who grows into a murderer (played by Ben Whishaw AKA the new Q) with a plot to prove he has unparalleled skill in his craft in a horrific way.  If you like Sweeney Todd, this might make a good companion film, but this one isn't about revenge, but desire.  It's beautifully filmed and has a great structure and an amazing final act.  It doesn't go quite the way I expected (I was expecting it to be a bit more like Sweeney Todd or The Count of Monte Cristo, where the hero reinvents his image) and it is a true joy to watch.  Tim Burton wishes he made a film like this in the last 15 years.  I definitely recommend checking it out.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/zutiIw_2e2g" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/zutiIw_2e2g</a>