#5Marvin the Paranoid Android
170 Points, 9 of 15 Lists, Top vote: #2 Charles Castle, goflyblind, and Lunquewill
Program Being a bummer
Marvin, AKA Marvin the Paranoid Android, is a robot who appeared in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy franchise. Marvin was a prototype for a failed line of robots called Genuine People Personalities. Marvin later became a part of the crew of the Heart of Gold, captained by the absentee president of the galaxy and the self-appointed coolest guy in the universe Zaphod Beeblebrox. When the crew is teleported into the future, they find that Marvin had been waiting for them for 576,000,003,579 years (he counted them).
Marvin is best known for two things: having the "brain the size of a planet" and being incredibly depressing. Marvin's main complaint is that despite his super-intelligence, he almost never gets to use more than the tiniest fraction of it, chafing at the idea that instead he is sent to do mundane tasks. He also seems to have a negative opinion of all things, even when said dislikes would appear to be contradictory. When kidnapped by the bellicose Krikkit robots and tied to the interfaces of their intelligent war computer, Marvin simultaneously manages to plan the entire planet's military strategy, solve "all of the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except his own, three times over", and compose a number of lullabies.
The only time he felt sort of happy was when
near destruction, he was encouraged to quest to see the last message of God to creation. When he finally saw the message, he learned it was "We apologise for the inconvenience." Marvin then felt a bit better, then died.
Trivia Marvin does not actually display signs of paranoia, though Zaphod refers to him as "the Paranoid Android". Nor does he show any signs of mania, though Ford refers to him as a "manically depressed robot". He remains consistently morose throughout. In fact, he exhibits remarkable stoicism, being willing to wait hundreds of billions of years for his employers.