I had to put my cat Ziva to sleep today. He was such a good boy. I loved him so much and losing him just... it took a big bite out of my soul. I will heal, but you know how it goes, you grieve... the stages of grief... then one day soon you're whole again.
I was there on my knees holding his paw and his face close to me as they injected the drugs into his veins to stop his heart. It was the very least I could do for my boy, that his very last moments were spent hearing me and holding him and me telling him that I loved him very much. He did me a solid while he was here. He brought me much love and joy since he was born here in this house 13 and a half years ago. The least I could do was make his last moments alive as pleasant as humanly possible.
It is never easy putting a pet to sleep, because they are more than pets, more than friends even. They're our guardians, our children, our kids. It is no weakness, it is strength in fact to mourn for them, because mourning, allowing yourself to be vulnerable yet to be strong for them, to be there in their last moments for them truly takes strength of character(not to kiss my own ass or anything).