What have we Learned?

[SecretAgentSuperDragon]

I learned that Nitric Acid and Glycerine are apparently safe chemicals to mix in a classroom.

"Now Charlie, would you like to grab me that sawdust and detonator fuse there. And if somebody has a clock that I could borrow..."

I also learned that candybars become tainted once exposed to octogenarian ass-heat.

[AmandaGal]

Mike inexplicably doesn't know how to pronounce "short-lived".

The thing that rifftrax has taught me most of all:  Folks from Wisconsin don't know how to pronounce anything.

It's endearing though.

[AmazingThor]

I learned that NPH has a good "riffing" voice. I was totally impressed.

[Hobbit]

I learned that NPH has a good "riffing" voice. I was totally impressed.

He performs surgury while he comments on a psychadelic, drug-induced nightmare of a kids' movie.  He's SO talented.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I learned that Willy Wonka is strangely arousing.

....What?

Are you referring to the actor playing the persona of the same name, or the film as a whole?

[LadyKenobi]

Oh, just the hat and the O-L employment and living in a factory with forced-perspective rooms and all, not the whole freaky movie itself. 

That would be weird.

[Fingers]

I learned that laying in bed for the past 20 years does not affect your health in any way, shape or form whatsoever. I mean, I'd have thought that someone would have suffered from bed sores.

I also learned that adults NEVER win anything, no matter how hard they try.

[estwald]

I learned that if I'm going to invite 10 people on a factory tour and only provide a paddle boat with seats for 8, I'd better hope a kid gets killed before the boat ride. Ditto the 4-seater soap-sud car.

And I learned not to get my head too close to the chamber pot under my grandparent's bed.

[eegah]

I learned that if I'm going to invite 10 people on a factory tour and only provide a paddle boat with seats for 8, I'd better hope a kid gets killed before the boat ride. Ditto the 4-seater soap-sud car.

And I learned not to get my head too close to the chamber pot under my grandparent's bed.

And before the TV-shrink thing, they only had enough outfits for the remaining people. Hmmm.....

[eegah]

There's something else I learned.  When a strange man in a top hat tells you to lick his snozzberry, it's probably best to just say no.

LOL!

[eegah]

Apparently, there was a big gum-chewing problem back then. Enough so that a major part of the moral lesson from a major motion picture had to be devoted to discouraging children from doing it.

GUM CHEWING'S FINE WHEN IT'S ONCE IN A WHILE
IT STOPS YOU FROM SMOKING AND BRIGHTENS YOUR SMILE
BUT IT'S REPULSIVE, REVOLTING, AND WRONG
CHEWING AND CHEWING ALL DAY LONG
THE WAY THAT A COW DOES

[AmazingThor]

Eat all the chocolate and candy  you want. But gum? Disgusting!

[Quicksilver]

Eat all the chocolate and candy  you want. But gum? Disgusting!

just imagine if that girl tried hard drugs, she's screwed....junkie in seconds.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I learned that the villain from Saw is really just a more health-concious version of Willy Wonka. Both people set up their victims in situations where each person will lead themself to their own unpleasant demise. The both heap them with dodgey self-justification and radiate smug moral superiority.

[gbeenie]

I learned that contracts are strictly for suckers.

Therefore, my current pay-as-you-go cell phone plan is officially sucka-free.