General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)

[Quantum Vagina]

Since Bas left me, I've gone from extremely depressed, to positive, to depressed as fuck. Now I'm in the stage where my inhibitions are pretty much gone. I flirted with some guys yesterday while I was out having a ciggie. ME. Flirting... Put an ad on craigslist last night for hookups. I don't know whether I should be ok with what I'm doing now, or if I should feel shitty. I've always said that sex is way more in this country than it should be, random hookups are ok, but I feel like I'm cheating, and I feel terrible, because it's like, I want him back, but will he take me back since I've gone on a binge of sleeping with pretty much anything that moves? 

[LucasM]

Functioning (marginally) better today... at least enough to write more than what I did before.

Thank you, Soguru.  I really appreciate the support.

Thank you very much anais.  I greatly appreciate you addressing each point I made.  And yes, I did get a couple chuckles from things you wrote (about reading, and the parenthesied 'learned thing' from The Last Unicorn).  It does help to know that you care about my presence here, and that I've made a difference.  Because I tend not to think about it as I'm just 'doing what I do'.  With that, it often doesn't register for me that what I write has impact (unless it is the negative from my botching writing something [or simply write too much] and that is pointed out to me).

And, anais, to respond to your semi-question, no, I don't visit any other forum regularly, and even if I do visit on rare occasion, I almost never comment elsewhere: so if I'm not commenting here, basically I'm not 'talking' anywhere online.

anais, I plan to print out what you wrote so I can remind myself as needed of the many helpful things you wrote.  Thank you.



Lawful_Cupcake, how everyone treats and acts on their sexuality is their own decision.  The only thing that would be 'wrong' was if you were doing things you weren't comfortable with as a way to 'punish' yourself or make yourself feel worse.  With that, use protection for disease prevention, as you don't want experimentation or sex play to result in lifetime disease of any kind that could make things worse for you.  [You might want to rethink your sources for partners, as I've heard some bad things about Craig's List contacts.  But that may not be the case.]

[Quantum Vagina]

Functioning (marginally) better today... at least enough to write more than what I did before.

Thank you, Soguru.  I really appreciate the support.

Thank you very much anais.  I greatly appreciate you addressing each point I made.  And yes, I did get a couple chuckles from things you wrote (about reading, and the parenthesied 'learned thing' from The Last Unicorn).  It does help to know that you care about my presence here, and that I've made a difference.  Because I tend not to think about it as I'm just 'doing what I do'.  With that, it often doesn't register for me that what I write has impact (unless it is the negative from my botching writing something [or simply write too much] and that is pointed out to me).

And, anais, to respond to your semi-question, no, I don't visit any other forum regularly, and even if I do visit on rare occasion, I almost never comment elsewhere: so if I'm not commenting here, basically I'm not 'talking' anywhere online.

anais, I plan to print out what you wrote so I can remind myself as needed of the many helpful things you wrote.  Thank you.



Lawful_Cupcake, how everyone treats and acts on their sexuality is their own decision.  The only thing that would be 'wrong' was if you were doing things you weren't comfortable with as a way to 'punish' yourself or make yourself feel worse.  With that, use protection for disease prevention, as you don't want experimentation or sex play to result in lifetime disease of any kind that could make things worse for you.  [You might want to rethink your sources for partners, as I've heard some bad things about Craig's List contacts.  But that may not be the case.]

I could look at my dating profiles on okcupid and pof... idk. Theyre not much better. Besides the danger aspect kind of does it for me...

[soguru]

My anxiety levels are going through the fucking roof right now. God dammit I don't need this!!!

[Quantum Vagina]

Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.

[MSTJedi]

Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.

That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.

Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.

[soguru]

I don't even want to know what that feels like. Most of my "relationships" if you can even call them that failed to even take the most basic level of flight. In the year 2000, I had a couple dates with someone I met and then... nothing. We met a couple times for lunch and those were the only times we were together. I admit, it was my fault for waiting so long and after a while I tried calling her and she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I definitely wasn't ready for a relationship back then because there were too many things in the way in my life.

[Quantum Vagina]

Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.

That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.

Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.

I called him because I thought we'd still had a chance, I thought that maybe we could work things out, because he'd been telling me he still loved me. Then when I try to work stuff out with him, he tells me that he hasn't loved me since a few days before he broke up. It's like I'm getting broken up with all over again.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

Having a panic attack because I am going to buy a new car tomorrow.

Just confirms I haven't been doing enough different stuff during the last year, same patterns every week, anything new has me messed up.

[LucasM]

I'm sorry that's happening, Marty.  I hope that things go smoothly with the car you choose.

[soguru]

And I was stressed out the other day because I thought I needed to buy a cell phone... and luckily as it turns out I didn't have to, but for some reason that whole ordeal caused me some serious grief.

[Miku Fan]

I hope the new car will alleviate some of your anxiety, Marty!  Good luck~

[MartyS (Gromit)]

I hope the new car will alleviate some of your anxiety, Marty!  Good luck~

It's the process of buying the darn thing that has my heart racing.  I hate haggling, hate listening to sales people trying to push stuff, hate the trying to get more for the trade in, etc, etc....  Once it's over I'll be able to calm down.

Took 2 benadryl 2 hours ago hoping it would make me drowsy enough to want to sleep, so far not so much, but I better get off the computer and at least lie still all night and even if I don't fall asleep I'll be somewhat rested.

[Miku Fan]

I hope the new car will alleviate some of your anxiety, Marty!  Good luck~

It's the process of buying the darn thing that has my heart racing.  I hate haggling, hate listening to sales people trying to push stuff, hate the trying to get more for the trade in, etc, etc....  Once it's over I'll be able to calm down.

Took 2 benadryl 2 hours ago hoping it would make me drowsy enough to want to sleep, so far not so much, but I better get off the computer and at least lie still all night and even if I don't fall asleep I'll be somewhat rested.

I understood what you meant.     I meant, after the car is purchased, and you are driving around in your new car, (I hope) THAT will ease some of your general anxiety.
At least any "old car" or "no car" anxiety you may have.

I suffer from anxiety, myself.  I bought a new car 4 years ago.  It was hell, even though everything went fine, and within 4 or 5 hours of walking onto the car lot, I drove away in my new car. 

I hope you get some rest.

I started feeling better immediately. 

[MSTJedi]

Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.

That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.

Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.

I called him because I thought we'd still had a chance, I thought that maybe we could work things out, because he'd been telling me he still loved me. Then when I try to work stuff out with him, he tells me that he hasn't loved me since a few days before he broke up. It's like I'm getting broken up with all over again.

Well, like I said, that is really shitty. Even if it was true, you don't tell someone that. You make up a pretty lie and tell them that it's not you, it's me. Geez, use some decorum, people. It's why past asking whether my wife was in love with her new guy before we officially, physically separated in June, I haven't asked her a damn thing about her feelings about me. I don't want to know. I really don't give a shit. Especially knowing what I know now. Her stupid ass doesn't deserve me.