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Author Topic: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)  (Read 54841 times)

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Quantum Vagina

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #165 on: October 24, 2015, 09:46:58 AM »
Since Bas left me, I've gone from extremely depressed, to positive, to depressed as fuck. Now I'm in the stage where my inhibitions are pretty much gone. I flirted with some guys yesterday while I was out having a ciggie. ME. Flirting... Put an ad on craigslist last night for hookups. I don't know whether I should be ok with what I'm doing now, or if I should feel shitty. I've always said that sex is way more in this country than it should be, random hookups are ok, but I feel like I'm cheating, and I feel terrible, because it's like, I want him back, but will he take me back since I've gone on a binge of sleeping with pretty much anything that moves?  :-\


Offline LucasM

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #166 on: October 24, 2015, 05:56:41 PM »
Functioning (marginally) better today... at least enough to write more than what I did before.

Thank you, Soguru.  I really appreciate the support.

Thank you very much anais.  I greatly appreciate you addressing each point I made.  And yes, I did get a couple chuckles from things you wrote (about reading, and the parenthesied 'learned thing' from The Last Unicorn).  It does help to know that you care about my presence here, and that I've made a difference.  Because I tend not to think about it as I'm just 'doing what I do'.  With that, it often doesn't register for me that what I write has impact (unless it is the negative from my botching writing something [or simply write too much] and that is pointed out to me).

And, anais, to respond to your semi-question, no, I don't visit any other forum regularly, and even if I do visit on rare occasion, I almost never comment elsewhere: so if I'm not commenting here, basically I'm not 'talking' anywhere online.

anais, I plan to print out what you wrote so I can remind myself as needed of the many helpful things you wrote.  Thank you.



Lawful_Cupcake, how everyone treats and acts on their sexuality is their own decision.  The only thing that would be 'wrong' was if you were doing things you weren't comfortable with as a way to 'punish' yourself or make yourself feel worse.  With that, use protection for disease prevention, as you don't want experimentation or sex play to result in lifetime disease of any kind that could make things worse for you.  [You might want to rethink your sources for partners, as I've heard some bad things about Craig's List contacts.  But that may not be the case.]
« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 06:09:33 PM by LucasM »
To dispel some of the misconceptions about head injuries you have developed from watching movies and TV, I wrote this: ...Some Information on Head Injury Effects


Quantum Vagina

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #167 on: October 25, 2015, 12:24:24 AM »
Functioning (marginally) better today... at least enough to write more than what I did before.

Thank you, Soguru.  I really appreciate the support.

Thank you very much anais.  I greatly appreciate you addressing each point I made.  And yes, I did get a couple chuckles from things you wrote (about reading, and the parenthesied 'learned thing' from The Last Unicorn).  It does help to know that you care about my presence here, and that I've made a difference.  Because I tend not to think about it as I'm just 'doing what I do'.  With that, it often doesn't register for me that what I write has impact (unless it is the negative from my botching writing something [or simply write too much] and that is pointed out to me).

And, anais, to respond to your semi-question, no, I don't visit any other forum regularly, and even if I do visit on rare occasion, I almost never comment elsewhere: so if I'm not commenting here, basically I'm not 'talking' anywhere online.

anais, I plan to print out what you wrote so I can remind myself as needed of the many helpful things you wrote.  Thank you.



Lawful_Cupcake, how everyone treats and acts on their sexuality is their own decision.  The only thing that would be 'wrong' was if you were doing things you weren't comfortable with as a way to 'punish' yourself or make yourself feel worse.  With that, use protection for disease prevention, as you don't want experimentation or sex play to result in lifetime disease of any kind that could make things worse for you.  [You might want to rethink your sources for partners, as I've heard some bad things about Craig's List contacts.  But that may not be the case.]

I could look at my dating profiles on okcupid and pof... idk. Theyre not much better. Besides the danger aspect kind of does it for me...


soguru

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #168 on: October 25, 2015, 04:43:35 PM »
My anxiety levels are going through the fucking roof right now. God dammit I don't need this!!!


Quantum Vagina

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #169 on: October 26, 2015, 02:40:39 AM »
Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.


Offline MSTJedi

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #170 on: October 26, 2015, 07:51:36 AM »
Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.

That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.

Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.



soguru

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #171 on: October 26, 2015, 08:28:52 AM »
I don't even want to know what that feels like. Most of my "relationships" if you can even call them that failed to even take the most basic level of flight. In the year 2000, I had a couple dates with someone I met and then... nothing. We met a couple times for lunch and those were the only times we were together. I admit, it was my fault for waiting so long and after a while I tried calling her and she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I definitely wasn't ready for a relationship back then because there were too many things in the way in my life.


Quantum Vagina

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #172 on: October 26, 2015, 09:32:28 AM »
Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.

That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.

Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.

I called him because I thought we'd still had a chance, I thought that maybe we could work things out, because he'd been telling me he still loved me. Then when I try to work stuff out with him, he tells me that he hasn't loved me since a few days before he broke up. It's like I'm getting broken up with all over again.


Offline MartyS (Gromit)

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #173 on: October 26, 2015, 08:28:55 PM »
Having a panic attack because I am going to buy a new car tomorrow.

Just confirms I haven't been doing enough different stuff during the last year, same patterns every week, anything new has me messed up.


Offline LucasM

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #174 on: October 26, 2015, 10:00:41 PM »
I'm sorry that's happening, Marty.  I hope that things go smoothly with the car you choose.
To dispel some of the misconceptions about head injuries you have developed from watching movies and TV, I wrote this: ...Some Information on Head Injury Effects


soguru

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #175 on: October 26, 2015, 10:01:06 PM »
And I was stressed out the other day because I thought I needed to buy a cell phone... and luckily as it turns out I didn't have to, but for some reason that whole ordeal caused me some serious grief.


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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #176 on: October 26, 2015, 10:26:36 PM »
I hope the new car will alleviate some of your anxiety, Marty!  Good luck~
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Offline MartyS (Gromit)

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #177 on: October 26, 2015, 10:49:47 PM »
I hope the new car will alleviate some of your anxiety, Marty!  Good luck~

It's the process of buying the darn thing that has my heart racing.  I hate haggling, hate listening to sales people trying to push stuff, hate the trying to get more for the trade in, etc, etc....  Once it's over I'll be able to calm down.

Took 2 benadryl 2 hours ago hoping it would make me drowsy enough to want to sleep, so far not so much, but I better get off the computer and at least lie still all night and even if I don't fall asleep I'll be somewhat rested.


Offline Miku Fan

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #178 on: October 26, 2015, 11:40:34 PM »
I hope the new car will alleviate some of your anxiety, Marty!  Good luck~

It's the process of buying the darn thing that has my heart racing.  I hate haggling, hate listening to sales people trying to push stuff, hate the trying to get more for the trade in, etc, etc....  Once it's over I'll be able to calm down.

Took 2 benadryl 2 hours ago hoping it would make me drowsy enough to want to sleep, so far not so much, but I better get off the computer and at least lie still all night and even if I don't fall asleep I'll be somewhat rested.


I understood what you meant.  ;)   I meant, after the car is purchased, and you are driving around in your new car, (I hope) THAT will ease some of your general anxiety.
At least any "old car" or "no car" anxiety you may have.

I suffer from anxiety, myself.  I bought a new car 4 years ago.  It was hell, even though everything went fine, and within 4 or 5 hours of walking onto the car lot, I drove away in my new car. 

I hope you get some rest.

I started feeling better immediately. 
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Offline MSTJedi

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #179 on: October 27, 2015, 07:23:04 AM »
Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.

That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.

Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.

I called him because I thought we'd still had a chance, I thought that maybe we could work things out, because he'd been telling me he still loved me. Then when I try to work stuff out with him, he tells me that he hasn't loved me since a few days before he broke up. It's like I'm getting broken up with all over again.

Well, like I said, that is really shitty. Even if it was true, you don't tell someone that. You make up a pretty lie and tell them that it's not you, it's me. Geez, use some decorum, people. It's why past asking whether my wife was in love with her new guy before we officially, physically separated in June, I haven't asked her a damn thing about her feelings about me. I don't want to know. I really don't give a shit. Especially knowing what I know now. Her stupid ass doesn't deserve me.