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Author Topic: New VOD "Stone Cold" Now Available!  (Read 942 times)

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Offline MrTorso

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New VOD "Stone Cold" Now Available!
« on: July 09, 2015, 02:54:38 PM »


http://www.rifftrax.com/stone-cold

Stone Cold tells the story of John Cold, a renegade cop played by failed NFL player Brian Bosworth, whose most notable football accomplishment was having a bad haircut. We’re just kidding of course. The character’s name is John Stone. Otherwise that first sentence would be ridiculous.

When the FBI wants to bust a notorious biker gang by sending in an undercover agent, there’s only one choice: John Stone, who is sure to blend in since he walks around with what looks to be a piece of roadkill that got run over by a bleach truck glued to his head. Inside the gang he meets bikers with names like Ice, Gut, Chains, AWOL, Beetle, Sarge, General Halftrack, and Miss Buxley. At first everything is going great, but then it turns out that the murderous, drug-dealing nazis are actually kind of a bunch of dicks. So Stone is forced to take them out the only way he knows out: by maximizing civilian casualties and property damage.

Despite Boz not being an actor, or even able to tackle Bo Jackson, Stone Cold turned out spectacular. Like, “launching an unmanned motorcycle into a helicopter to bring it down on the courthouse steps” spectacular. Stone Cold is like if you wadded up all the Fast & Furious movies into one gelatinous ball, replaced all the crap about "family" with maniacs who shoot beer cans off each others heads with machine guns, and then fired it out of a shark you’d somehow transformed into a bazooka.

Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for a RiffTrax that’s so 80s, they legally couldn’t put it out until the 90s!

http://www.rifftrax.com/stone-cold

Check out my webshop for political, punk, pop culture buttons, patches and more! www.bigmeanpunk.com


Offline MrTorso

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Re: New VOD "Stone Cold" Now Available!
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2015, 03:06:44 PM »
THIS is exactly what I want from RiffTrax!!!   Can't believe I have to sit through Sharknado 2 before I have time to watch it!!!
Check out my webshop for political, punk, pop culture buttons, patches and more! www.bigmeanpunk.com


Offline ManUnderMask

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Re: New VOD "Stone Cold" Now Available!
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2015, 03:50:20 PM »
What?
I survived the San Diego Comic Con 2010 Hall H stabbing.


Offline MrTorso

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Re: New VOD "Stone Cold" Now Available!
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2015, 07:42:17 PM »
What?

Just lamenting that I am more excited for Stone Cold than another Sharknado movie. Sharknado knows it is terrible while Stone Cold did not.
Check out my webshop for political, punk, pop culture buttons, patches and more! www.bigmeanpunk.com


Offline Trekker4747

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Re: New VOD "Stone Cold" Now Available!
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2015, 06:54:31 PM »
I'm watching "Cool as Ice" and during the opening credits/music sequence Kevin mentions this movie.  He says something to the effect of, "Wait, this movie stars a middling '90s star with a terrible haircut who doesn't know he's about to reach the end of his career and it's *not* Stone Cold with Brian Bosworth?!"