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Author Topic: October Horror Movie a Day 2014  (Read 5746 times)

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Offline Compound

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2014, 08:20:42 PM »
Reality: Terror Night (2011)

Years ago, after the loss of his wife, a doctor decides to recreate her by using parts from other women. But one of the victims kills him in return as her final action. This is all filmed in a pseudo -70s ish style, which is then ruined by extremely bad CGI blood getting splattered across the screen.
 
Years later, a reality show called “Babes and Ghosts” (eye roll) decides to film in the house. Unfortunately, the show's producer comes under the influence of the mad doctor. And, of course, the various bikini-clad contestants are killed by the possessed producer, albeit after about a half hour of nothing happening at all. And it all ends in a couple of minutes at the end, and not in a very satisfying manner. Hint, it's okay to end [REC] like that, but you didn't really earn that, film.
 
Is it good? No, not really. There's some decent  imagery at various point in the film, and some of the blood makeup looks quite good, but the blood splatters would have looked laughable in Doom, let alone in 2011. I've seen local car commercials with better F/X. Seriously, this annoys the hell out of me. Fake blood is trivial to make and is cheap. Use it or just skip the damn blood splatters. I'll accept someone being fake stabbed with just a “stabby” noise more than I will with a giant CGI blood splatter.  It just drags me right out of the film as fast as seeing a boom mike would.
 
Anyway, to continue, the acting's not very good either and a lot of the “script” has a “We didn't write anything here. Just improv it, ladies” feel to it. Give it a skip. 


Offline Compound

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2014, 09:30:11 PM »
Vampire Killers (2008)
After the vampire Carmilla descends upon a peaceful village, the local Baron creates a magic sword and slays her after she turns his wife into a vampire. But as she dies, she curses him... Yes, another curse. I'm detecting an inadvertent theme this year.  This curse is upon the female descendants of the Baron's line and will only end when the blood of his last descendant combines with the blood of a virgin and Carmilla will be reborn. Until then,  all females in the village upon their 18th birthday will turn into lesbian vampires.
 
Sigh. Yeah, I should have really guessed this was on the way from the box art.
 
Anyway, we meet our British heroes, Jimmy, who's being dumped by his girlfriend, and Fletch, who has just been fired from his job as a clown for punching a seven year old in the face. To get away from their problems, they decide to go on an adventure. Jimmy tosses a dart at the map and they head off to...Glasgow! Pub crawl! Oh, wait. No. They head to Cragwich. Guess what? It's the aforementioned cursed village.

 
Spotting some girls, they head into the local pub. And then The Doctor appears.

 
Oh. It's the 8th Doctor. Nevermind. He's not an important one.
 
Anyway, the Doctor, who's a Vicar in this film, is trying to raise a mob to take care of the “problem” as his daughter is about to turn 18.  He seems to recognize Jimmy but is shooed off by the pubkeeper., who offers the boys a place to stay. Oh, and it's with some girls from out of town. Who, by the way are driving their VW van through the woods at the moment. Oh, they're singing an Ida Maria song. I was unaware that anyone other than me had ever even heard “I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked.“ (checks) Oh, minor chart hit in the UK and Norway. The girls seem to be Scandinavian, so I guess that fits then. The van breaks down and the boys arrive and head off to the cottage. But the Baron's wife  is following them. More disturbingly, Jimmy's ex arrives at the pub, looking for Jimmy. Dun-dun-DUN!

Over at the Mircalla cottage (rolls eyes), it's party time! Accompanied by a Buster Pointdexter song. (Checks the date) 2008. Okay then. Jimmy and Lotti, the nerdish girl (cause she wears glasses, you know) talk about Carmilla and how the girls are into legends. Two of the quartet head off to the toilet while the boys pair off inside. Oh look. A vamp shows up and turns the pair at the outhouse. Quelle surprise. Back inside, Trudi, the non-nerdy girl, takes a gratuitous shower. And she's got a great set of lungs. Seriously, she screams for about 10 seconds after seeing a spider. Impressive. (Sorry. Couldn't resist. No nudity in the modern cast yet.) Oh, and then a vampire appears.

Back in the forest, Jimmy's ex continues her pursuit of Jimmy. Unbeknownst to her, the trio heads into the forest to look for the missing girls and discover... yep. Naked Lesbian vampire blood orgy. Oh, hey! There's that nudity! One of the girls attacks Fletch, then goes after Jimmy but is staked by Lotti.  Fletch regrets that she doesn't explode or turn into ash. The vampettes then chase the trio back to the cottage, and Fletch dispatches one by decapitating her with a skillet. I wasn't aware that they could do that. Lotti  starts making stakes. And then the ex appears. Jimmy puts the ex to bed and Lotti reveals that she's a virgin. I am stunned by this revelation.
 
Back in town, the Vicar continues his research and grabs a stake.
 
Back in the cottage, the Ex starts to try and seduce Jimmy. Oh look. She's a vampire.Once again, quelle surprise. Fletch appears and then puts an axe in her head. It doesn't kill her and... well, think “Don't Stop Me Now” as the boys get involved in slapstick as they try to kill the ex, eventually succeeding. Fletch tries to pick up Lotti, but fails. The other vampires appear, but can't enter unless invited. And Jimmy notes, “It's not like I'm going to say 'Oh, come on in lesbian vampires.” The head vampire notes that Jimmy's a descendant of the Baron and Lotti's a virgin and then subdues them, intending to fulfill the prophecy. Fletch is attacked by Trudi, but The Vicar arrives to save him and deals with Trudi by turning the shower into holy water. Okay, points for that. The Vicar then recruits Fletch to help save the town.
 
Back at Carmilla's Tomb, a head vampire begins the ceremony to return Carmilla to life. The Vicar relates the story of Carmilla's demonic arch foe, the demon of lust Dealdo, a testicular beast who once dared try to penetrate Carm... Really? You just dragged a tentacle hentai monster into this, movie? Inside, having reached her 18th birthday the Vicar's daughter Rebecca turns. Fletch heads into the Baron's tomb to find the sword. The hilt is shaped like a penis, BTW. Because, of course it would be. Rebecca appears to seduce Fletch, but he accidentally stabs her. The ceremony begins. The Baron's wife tries to turn Lotti, but she's wearing a cross. Good girl, remember? Fletch and The Vicar arrive to save the day, but only manage to free Jimmy and Lotti as Carmilla is reborn. But they forgot the sword. The Vicar stays behind as the others runs back to get the sword while the ladies, shall we say, get friendly with each other. The Baron's Wife goes after Lotti, who's quite the little scrapper and decapitates the wife using her cross necklace as a garrote. Then Carmilla arrives.  Fletch tries to kill her with the sword, but Carmilla easily deflects his attack.  Jimmy grabs the sword and kills her. Dawn breaks and the vampires have returned to life. But are still lesbians. Then Lotti, Jimmy and Fletch head off to become lesbian vampire killers. Er, meaning that they kill lesbian vampires, not that they themselves are lesbian vampires who kill. Or are lesbians who kill vampires. Oh, and a gay werewolf appears as a callback to an earlier joke.
 
Okay, this was definitely inspired by Shaun of the Dead and it shows. Fletch looks and feels a lot like Nick Frost's Ed, albeit crossed with Andy Richter. And there's a lot of comedy in it with a few scenes feeling quite “inspired” by Shaun. But it's still pretty darn watchable, despite that. 


Offline Compound

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2014, 10:25:31 PM »
Okay, this is one of the most awesome names in entertainment:




Offline Compound

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2014, 10:11:41 PM »
Clownhouse (1989) *

A trio of psychopaths who've escaped from a mental institution disguise themselves as clowns and terrorize three young brothers who are at home alone. And then an angry Dean revokes their charter.

Dull, dull, dull. The eldest brother is, well, a complete jerk and him being threatened doesn't elicit any sense of foreboding, rather it feels like someone is threatening the IRS agent who's busily auditing you. Not even up to the levels of many TV movies, scare-wise. Pass.



(Post credit note. Oh. Heh. The jerky brother was Sam Rockwell. Didn't recognize him, even though he was college aged at the time. )
« Last Edit: October 03, 2014, 10:31:57 PM by Compound »


Offline ScottotD

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #19 on: October 04, 2014, 03:38:27 AM »
 >:D

Thinking about doing a bit of a remake-fest.

1/10
CARRIE - 2013
This was a lot more intense and made more sense than the original, plus Carrie didn't throw CDs at people which is good.

2/10
THE HILLS HAVE EYES - 2006
Probably on par with the original, the budget made everything a lot less cheesy though.  Plus there's that one plot turn from the original that's still super effective.

3/10
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD - 1990
The bald guy in the basement can't act in this version either, obviously less iconic but as much fun as the original.

4/10 (today)
LET ME IN - 2010
They left out the suggested subplot of Let the Right One In but overall really good and a worthy English language remake.
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Offline Compound

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #20 on: October 04, 2014, 04:13:52 PM »
"Press Play and Your Dead."


Damn it. When you make a trailer, have someone proofread it. And they got it wrong multiple times in the trailer. (And spelled "Desecrate" wrong too. Hint. There's an 'e' after the 't'.)


Offline Sideswipe

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #21 on: October 04, 2014, 04:23:33 PM »
Gotta make time for Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness this month.

I was bieng threated with death by wolf raping before it was cool!.


Offline SJP

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2014, 09:43:01 PM »
Not actually behind in watching, just in posting.  Got three more under my belt, and...well...

2. The Dunwich Horror (1970)
Dean Stockwell plays a young man of indeterminate fathering who wants his hands on the Necronomicon and nice young lady at the local college so he can resurrect one of the Ancient Ones from his slumber.  There is also a creepy Medusa-head thing floating around in the house that...I kid you not...kills someone by devouring all her clothes first.
...
...
As you may have guessed this is very loosely based on Lovecraft.  You could probably release this on a double-bill with The Wicker Man and nobody could tell when one ended and the other began.  But I have to admit, Stockwell gets called 'young man' a lot and I had to look up and ensure he actually was in his mid-thirties.  For a guy who always looks old when I see him in stuff, he pulled off young pretty well for the time.  But throw in a lot of gratuitous nudity and more cult than Cthulhu and you've got your typical cultist 70s film.

NOTABLE MOMENTS: A professor (Ed Begley Sr.) telling a student very casually to put the Necronomicon back in the library; a flashback shows a man running into a corner drug store still wearing his cult robes as if this is a normal thing to do.
RIFFABILITY: Medium.  It's got a very A Touch of Satan level of plodding to get through.

3. Night Wolf (2010)
Now, Hulu Plus said this was made in 2012, but that must be a U.S. release date, since it was clearly made in 2010.  Why?  Because Simon McCorkindale is in it, and by God, what a trooper the man was, because it looked like he was three days away from death filming his cameo, if he didn't die while filming.  Anywho, a young woman returns home to the English countryside after living in America for years, only to find her siblings and their friends are whiling away time drinking and stoned and not all that happy to see her.  Cue werewolf...because.  They then spend the rest of the night in the attic trying to call for help while bickering about who slept with who (because that's important when everyone is getting eaten).

I'd say below average is about right.  The makeup sucks (more on that in notable moments), the characters are whiny about the most ridiculous topics, and the only really name people in it (McCorkindale and Draco Malfoy himself, Tom Felton) disappear as soon as the paychecks ran dry.  The only thing I would say is even different is not the twist itself (McCorkindale does NOT get to relive his Manimal days, sorry to say), but the oddly poignant nature OF the twist.  You can tell who the monster is in about 15 minutes, but the excuses as to why that particular person was killing everyone sort of adds some amount of depth to an otherwise shallow bit of fluff:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NOTABLE MOMENTS: British accents; werewolf makeup that looks like Bat Boy from the Weekly World News instead of a wolf monster (it...is...BAD.); the twist from above; an amusing accident involving a shotgun that involves the disappearance of an entire head with no remnants; the fact that people actually MOURN deaths in this movie.
RIFFABILITY: Medium-High.  Felton is worth some Potter jokes, and a good pace ensures not even jokes will get boring.

But then, we come to today's experiment:
4. Paranormal Asylum (2013)
This movie has a subtitle, but quite frankly, I'm not going to write it out.  I stumbled onto this gem on Netflix and, seeing it had a 1.5/5 rating, figured it would be good for a chuckle.

I nominate this pile of drivel as 2013's "Most Likely to Dethrone The Room."  It is one thing to make a bad film; it is another to keep making it worse as it goes along.  NOTHING works in this.  I actually tried to convince myself about a quarter of the way in that it was clearly a parody of found footage films in order to explain why I was laughing so hard.  The acting sucks.  The camerawork sucks.  Some of the most insane dialogue spews from people's mouths.  It has no jump scares, only slow, meandering attempts at scares.  The effects are hilarious.  The storyline makes no sense.  Words only occasionally match people's mouths due to terrible ADR work.  You could blame a low budget, but I watched this just after Lost Skeleton of Cadavra a day earlier, and THAT'S a movie that knew how to use a budget.

As far as plot: two amateur filmmakers (both of which look like they went through Jeff Goldblum's The Fly Telepod, one a mix of Scott Speedman and Nathan Filion and the other Rob McElhenny and Dave Gahan circa 1993) feel obligated to make a documentary about Typhoid Mary.  With pointless Day # interstitials (that forget that a day has passed at one point), they decide to try and capture ghosts on film, which they do, then promptly ignore.  One of the guy's girlfriends gets possessed, which they do nothing to fix even though they know it happened.  They interview people that try to kill them for no explicable reason.  A guy refuses to let them borrow his boat because they won't be responsible, then hands it over after he gets a bag of weed.  And finally, the ghost of Mary wanders a basement and starts giving a recipe for Shepherd's Pie.

This is the kind of bad movie that makes me remember why I watch bad movies.  This movie is totally bananas from beginning to end.  It's all taken deadly seriously, and yet results in absolutely the wrong kind of entertainment value.  It is terrible in a way that few filmmakers can achieve.  My girlfriend is not a fan of scary movies, but she laughed with me the entire way through it.  Sadly, I heartily recommend this if you want an evening of laughs.  It truly is abysmal in the best possible way.

NOTABLE MOMENTS: Almost too many to list; the headless ghost chase at the railroad tracks; ghost chasers who clinically ignore evidence of the supernatural; the over the top prescription medication guy; the hospital that looks decrepit on the outside and extremely modern and in use on the inside; the exorcist who is shot for no reason; "She looked after a handicapped kid;" the skull-cracking fall backwards that turns into a zany cartoon slide down a hallway; the two friends arguing when anyone with a brain cell could resolve it in ten seconds; the spinning camera shot during perfectly ordinary dialogue; the crappy blue screen effects; the possessed vegan eating the hell out of a steak; the same possessed vegan entering a room in lingerie and an apron; the Shepherd's Pie monologue (it truly is classic Ham 101); and the completely out of left field "What the hell is this?" ending.
RIFFABILITY: A 15 out of 10.  Nuclear reactor overload level.  This is sheer comic brilliance waiting to happen.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2014, 09:48:40 PM by SJP »
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Offline SJP

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #23 on: October 05, 2014, 08:27:57 PM »
5. Darkness Falls (2003)
I guess after yesterday there is nowhere to go but up, and so I went into this with greatly lowered expectations.  So, I'm glad to discover a film that's just average.  Better than most, not as good as the best.

In the town of Darkness Falls (because that's a good name for any town), an elderly woman would give children money for bad teeth that she pulled.  After a house fire scarred her badly and two children go missing, naturally the townsfolk believe the once kindly woman is clearly evil and have her hanged (even though the kids show up fine the next day).  Fast forward centuries to when a young boy sees a monstrous figure on the night he loses his last baby tooth, which then kills his mother.  Fast forward twelve years and the kid, now grown, goes to help a childhood friend whose own son has seen the same monster.

It's a pretty by the numbers monster movie from that point on.  People don't listen, people get killed, yadda yadda yadda.  I do agree with some reviews I've seen, there was a definite missed opportunity as Stan Winston studios was called in to make a new monster at the last minute to put it in the movie more often (as the Tooth Fairy wasn't supposed to be seen in the movie until the end).  Shame since the original monster model (which got made into a McFarlane toy) is a way better monster.  And it's sort of sad watching it knowing the main lead died only a few years later due to suspected sleep apnea.  I was wondering why he hadn't been getting work lately; he's not great, but I've seen much worse, and recently.

NOTABLE MOMENTS: The Tooth Fairy's selected method of murder (yanking people into the air and throwing them, whether they die or not), the 11 minute credits (Yep, Walking Tall remake level of credit stretching for an 80 minute run-time); the inexplicable barfight from a guy who hasn't seen the main character in years.
RIFFABILITY: Medium-low.  There are laughs to be had, but the movie overall is not bad enough to benefit greatly from it, and not good enough to be worth the effort.
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Offline Sideswipe

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #24 on: October 05, 2014, 08:35:34 PM »
That movie bored the shit out of me.  I remember laughing out loud at some "scary" moment in the theater, and one of the friends I was with got a bit annoyed by it. 

I was bieng threated with death by wolf raping before it was cool!.


Offline Compound

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #25 on: October 05, 2014, 10:13:54 PM »
Ghost of Goodnight Lane (2014) *

In the 1960s, a teenager runs away from home and falls in with Charles Manson's "Family." She becomes pregnant and heads back home to give birth. Years pass and lo and behold, Chuck's little girl is pure evil. Her grandmom deals with the kid and moves out. Years later, a film studio moves in and later they decide to move out and demolish the place. The ghost appears and begins to show her displeasure by killing off the staff.  Oh, and Billy Zane chews scenery.

A fairly decent recent ghost movie. A few questionable special effects and I get the feeling that Billy Zane was basically given free reign to do whatever he wanted in his scenes. But still a fairly good little haunted house film. Innkeepers is still a better choice for a haunted place film, but this isn't bad.  And it breaks a fairly standard horror movie trope too, but I won't say what.

Highlight of the movie, after being trapped in the building, the crew is startled when grandmom appears in the reception area. They ask how she got in and she responds, "I had a key. You never changed the locks." Okay, good line movie.


Offline Compound

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #26 on: October 05, 2014, 10:18:40 PM »
5. Darkness Falls (2003)


Yeah, Emma Caufield was the only reason I saw this film back in the day. If I ever meet her, I'm going to try and get my money back for that.


Offline SJP

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #27 on: October 06, 2014, 07:53:35 PM »
6. Friday the 13th (2009)

A bunch of teenagers go into the woods and get killed by Jason.  Then, a second group of teenagers go into the woods and get killed by Jason.  The only major difference is one of the guys from Supernatural is in group 2, looking for someone in group 1.  Platinum Dunes, ladies and gentlemen!

While I went into this thinking I would automatically gainsay it on principle, I do have to admit that in essence this isn't THAT much different in terms of plot from the originals.  It can't really be argued that Jason killing people left and right is any different than it was in 1981 (yes, I know the first one is from 1980; that's why I said Jason).  I think the difference is that of tone.  This movie tries to be harsher, grittier, and nastier, with the nudity ramped up to 11, but when it tries to be funny or scary, it just falls flat.  And yes, as a Michael Bay produced venture it stinks an awful lot of trying to ramp up the "awesome" in ways that are just meaninglessly stupid.  Sure, the originals had us buy that Jason lived out in the woods for 20 years and nobody ever found him, and he still somehow was able to feed himself and such.  OK.  But he had a shack.  What the hell is he doing with an elaborate underground dungeon?  Sure, it's creepy, but this is Jason we're talking about.  Even on his best days he never had the capacity to do this.  His MO is pick up something dangerous and hit someone with it.  It's not ALL bad...some of the stuff is pretty nasty in there...but WHERE it's bad, it stands out as a flaw.

So, I can't hate it, but I can't recommend it.  The original series just has a scuzzy charm that, even on its worse days, is at least memorable.  This just felt...generic.  Or more like a Texas Chainsaw film than a Jason one...in which case, that just goes to show how generic it is to swap out one villain for another.

NOTABLE MOMENTS: More nudity than the previous films ever contained in their entirety; the screwdriver death (it is pretty good, all things considered); the utterly out of place pervert at the metalworks.
RIFFABILITY: Low.  Could be done, but there are far better targets to choose from.
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Offline ScottotD

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #28 on: October 06, 2014, 08:29:55 PM »
6. Friday the 13th (2009)
NOTABLE MOMENTS: More nudity than the previous films ever contained in their entirety; the screwdriver death (it is pretty good, all things considered); the utterly out of place pervert at the metalworks.


The sleeping bag over the fire is one of the most intense moments of the whole series in my opinion plus I did like that they basically made Jason into Jaws, he's almost a force of nature in this as opposed to a supernatural hillbilly.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2014, 10:16:43 PM by ScottotD »
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Offline Darth Geek

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Re: October Horror Movie a Day 2014
« Reply #29 on: October 06, 2014, 10:03:32 PM »
The one thing the remake did really well is the look of Jason with his sack mask, before he gets the hockey mask. In Part 2 it's just embarrassing. In this one it actually looks intimidating.