Author Topic: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!  (Read 12469 times)

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Offline Thrashalla

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New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« on: April 16, 2013, 12:59:35 PM »
http://www.rifftrax.com/vod/apple

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/xr771tBAwLw?hl=en_US&amp;amp;version=3&amp;amp;rel=0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/xr771tBAwLw?hl=en_US&amp;amp;version=3&amp;amp;rel=0</a>

The year was 1980 and one trend was sweeping America! No, not that animated dancing cat from the Paula Abdul video. We admire you thinking outside the box, but jeez, you were off by like nine years. Reign it in a bit. We were talking about the nationwide fad of really crappy musicals!

Yes, 1980 brought us Xanadu, The Village People’s Can’t Stop the Music and of course the crown* jewel of them all: The Apple. Because what we needed at the start of Reagan’s America was the book of Genesis set to music.

The Apple tells the story of Alphie and Bibi, a pair of sweetheart musicians from Canada who make the Osmonds look like GG Allin. Alphie’s vaguely foreign-y accent and resemblance to sensei John Kreese do nothing to slow them down as they ascend the ladder to stardom. Of course, they have a little assistance from Mr. Boogalow of the sinister BIM Corporation, which is at times a record company, an oppressive totalitarian regime and the producer of a reality singing TV show (listed in order from least despicable to most.) Forgot the name BIM already? Do not worry, there is a solid ten minutes of the movie where people shout it at you while doing aerobics.

When Bibi is unable to resist the temptation and signs the record contract (GET IT???) she’s vaulted to superstardom, but at what cost? The answer appears to be not much for her. She’s actually doing pretty OK. Alphie on the other hand moves in with an elderly female landlord, as you do when times get rough. The real victims of Satan’s nefarious temptation appears to be the audience’s ear drums, which are assaulted with a variety of songs that are best described as Disco’s death rattle.

Mike, Kevin and Bill would love to stop and chat but they just got word that BIM is on the way. Why don’t you watch The Apple while they wait for him to get here.

*One of those cheap cardboard crowns you get at Burger King

http://www.rifftrax.com/vod/apple
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Offline MrTorso

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2013, 01:06:07 PM »
Bought and downloaded and will be watched tonight!!
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Offline RVR II

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2013, 01:10:22 PM »
So does this Apple a day keep the doctors away ???


Offline Sugar Ray Dodge

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2013, 01:18:30 PM »
This was the first RiffTrax purchase I made on my iPhone, as if that's significant. But I was on top of a mountain when it happened...


Offline Trekker4747

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2013, 02:11:09 PM »
Ugh, my utter love for you guys is clashing with my utter loathe for musicals.   

It's a cheesy 80s movie.

But there's corny, pointless and random singing in it in elaborate choreographed dance sequences.

Kevin might sing a number!

Ugh... but musicals are just plain PAINFUL on levels far beyond making them worth watching.

Comeon, have these guys ever let you down?

Well.... Fine! I'll buy it.





Offline Mrs. Dick Courier

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2013, 02:49:50 PM »
How can it be that I've never heard of this movie?  Its so awesome, awesomely bad.

And that's Catherine Mary Stewart isn't it?
« Last Edit: April 16, 2013, 02:53:54 PM by Mrs. Dick Courier »
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Offline Zeether

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2013, 02:50:45 PM »
When I can scrape together the cash I'm getting this. I remember watching the trailer and thinking of good riffs, especially for the "Speed" part...Mike came up with a way better one than I did!
"Don't make me shoot you...CROOOOOOOOOW!"


Offline losingmydignity

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2013, 02:53:31 PM »
Yeah, only vaguely heard of it but I've always wanted them to do another musical. Hopefully they (our riffers) will sing a lot.

Nice to get a break from breakin' truckin' and such-like action too. Also, gives me hope for a Roller Boogie riff. Maybe even the Lost Horizon (that would be too good to be true).


Offline Sugar Ray Dodge

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #8 on: April 16, 2013, 03:13:21 PM »
Dear The Apple, thank you so much for giving me a bunch of great/horrible new characters for me to draw. You frickin' weirdos...


Offline Compound

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #9 on: April 16, 2013, 04:15:53 PM »

Ugh... but musicals are just plain PAINFUL on levels far beyond making them worth watching.


Trekker, having seen this film many times, it goes quite beyond painful. Grease 2 is painful. This is a disaster on practically every level, including song writing. Seriously, if you thought High school Musical was bad, well, you haven't seen anything yet.

Heh, heh, heh.


Offline Bob

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #10 on: April 16, 2013, 04:34:41 PM »
Gonna play my DVD now.........pray for me everyone.

I just hope I don't see a bunch of guys without shirts and bad blonde hair singing bad songs.............


Offline losingmydignity

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2013, 04:47:46 PM »
You die, Bob!

I'm thinking right now this is a riff that needs a MKB intro. Complete with musical number. Can they sneak a little of the starter money for Twilight into an elaborate fantasia complete with gold lame suits, dancing riff-raff (not Frank-n-Furter's handyman but Conor and that other guy) and a twenty one gun salute to Selena Kunis?


Offline Trekker4747

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2013, 04:59:08 PM »
Compound- I bought the Trax and will watch it tonight, never watched High School Musical.

LMD- I miss the intros, they did one for The Guy From Harlem and then after that there were some YouTube videos of them talking about some other riffed movies (the Future Carradine movies, for example.) I thought they were sort of neat and worked nicely on setting up the riff. Sort of wish they'd do the TGFH thing for all of their VODs as it works nicely as a set-up.


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2013, 05:21:31 PM »
I can't beleive they actually riffed this one. I honestly thought it was a joke, and the were just going to release the Evel Kneivel riff.
Never seen this, but I've heard a lot about it. This is legendarily bad. And it's always good when Rifftrax goes into legendarily bad territory.



Offline Artie

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Re: New VOD "The Apple" Now Available!!!
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2013, 05:37:17 PM »
Never thought I would see the day..... This is been high on my want list for years.
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